Mutual attraction - important or superfluous?

[PrinceVegeta]

Brand new to my trans-attraction and have been curious about dipping the toe in but realized that, for me, having a provider be attracted to me is a huge part of the process for my enjoyment. Things like chemistry, intensity, etc can all be heightened by mutual attraction and I want my first time to be amazing enough to warrant a second time. Am I silly for wanting a provider to find me attractive enough to share an experience with? Is that unreasonable given that this is a business transaction?

[xoxJanexox]

Brand new to my trans-attraction and have been curious about dipping the toe in but realized that, for me, having a provider be attracted to me is a huge part of the process for my enjoyment. Things like chemistry, intensity, etc can all be heightened by mutual attraction and I want my first time to be amazing enough to warrant a second time. Am I silly for wanting a provider to find me attractive enough to share an experience with? Is that unreasonable given that this is a business transaction?

You must have some self esteem issues. Let me break it up for you:

If you were actually attractive why would you care if others found you attractive?!
If you weren't attractive then why would you insist in others finding you attractive?!

[PrinceVegeta]

I'd like..

my first time to be something where the woman I'm with actually enjoys it as well. Yea, I suppose I do have some self-esteem issues. I figured actually talking about it on here was better than pretending it doesn't exist. Maybe not.

[JamieGirl]

Brand new to my trans-attraction and have been curious about dipping the toe in but realized that, for me, having a provider be attracted to me is a huge part of the process for my enjoyment. Things like chemistry, intensity, etc can all be heightened by mutual attraction and I want my first time to be amazing enough to warrant a second time. Am I silly for wanting a provider to find me attractive enough to share an experience with? Is that unreasonable given that this is a business transaction?

First off, chances are it will be nothing but a business transaction. Second if you are paying for it why care if they are attracted to you. They may be and may not be but just remember it is a job. Besides sex is sort of like a fantasy so you always have the option of fantasizing about her being attracted to you.

[PrinceVegeta]

First off, chances are it will be nothing but a business transaction. Second if you are paying for it why care if they are attracted to you. They may be and may not be but just remember it is a job. Besides sex is sort of like a fantasy so you always have the option of fantasizing about her being attracted to you.

I suppose that's all true. I guess I just care. I enjoy making people happy and can't imagine ever having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. It's human nature to me to want intimacy with what you are attracted to so I suppose I'd enjoy it more knowing that I was attractive to the provider. But yea, I understand the boundaries of the business transaction part of this and agree that, from a provider standpoint, it probably doesn't matter. Gotta keep the trains moving on time, regardless of how they look. I get it. I was just curious. Thank you for your tactful words, Jamie. =)

[Wetcoaster99]

I suppose that's all true. I guess I just care. I enjoy making people happy and can't imagine ever having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. It's human nature to me to want intimacy with what you are attracted to so I suppose I'd enjoy it more knowing that I was attractive to the provider. But yea, I understand the boundaries of the business transaction part of this and agree that, from a provider standpoint, it probably doesn't matter. Gotta keep the trains moving on time, regardless of how they look. I get it. I was just curious. Thank you for your tactful words, Jamie. =)

I would say it matters in the sense that if the provider is attracted to you they would be more willing to kiss you if they normally don't or they may be more into the session than with someone they weren't attracted to.

I know some providers ask for pics as they don't want to provide service to people that are not into.

[xoxJanexox]

I know some providers ask for pics as they don't want to provide service to people that are not into.

When I started escorting, I used to ask for pics in the first 3-4 months for a reason totally irrelevant to gents attractiveness, namely security.

The funny thing is that some of those whom I welcomed thought they were really attractive because they thought of it the same way you thought about it. Ask most professional providers, and trust me attractiveness isn't in the top of their list. Respectfulness, cleanness, and affordability come before it.

[craig1aa]

Just my opinion . If you stick with the top 3 to 5 rated girls . They will make you feel like you are their only one and be very passionate with you . For that hour they will make you feel incredible. Others could care less and get you off and out . My point is , it's fantasy . But with the right girls , they make it feel real .

[rasclaat]

I suppose that's all true. I guess I just care. I enjoy making people happy and can't imagine ever having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. It's human nature to me to want intimacy with what you are attracted to so I suppose I'd enjoy it more knowing that I was attractive to the provider. But yea, I understand the boundaries of the business transaction part of this and agree that, from a provider standpoint, it probably doesn't matter. Gotta keep the trains moving on time, regardless of how they look. I get it. I was just curious. Thank you for your tactful words, Jamie. =)

I am the same way. I get my satisfication of attraction through their erection and cumshot. I like the physiologic expression of attraction because its factual to my mind.

[justvisiting2016]

I suppose that's all true. I guess I just care. I enjoy making people happy and can't imagine ever having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. It's human nature to me to want intimacy with what you are attracted to so I suppose I'd enjoy it more knowing that I was attractive to the provider. But yea, I understand the boundaries of the business transaction part of this and agree that, from a provider standpoint, it probably doesn't matter. Gotta keep the trains moving on time, regardless of how they look. I get it. I was just curious. Thank you for your tactful words, Jamie. =)

THere are other ways to have an escort attracted to you then what you look like. THey meet all sorts of guys, get hit on when they go out on their personal time, etc. Tons of guys as good looking as you or better cross their paths and it can get ho hum. If an escort had a dollar for every guy who asked for a discount because he was young and good looking they would all retire.

If you want to feel like the girl appreciates and has chemistry with you, do it with your personality, charm, the way you have sex with her, the conversation, etc...... take it from me, that will get you a lot of attraction from a lot of women, not just escorts. Valuing your time with women by how good looking you are is a losing game in the long run and tough on the self esteem. Many women are attracted and get very excited sexually when things are in play that go beyond what you look like. Sure, there are women that will be faking it unless you are ripped and pack 10 inches, but there are many that will be interested in you genuinely due to other factors.

I learned it is a blessing to not be using my looks to build chemistry. When you are just joe average in looks, it encourages you to develop many other things... personality, charm, intelligence, sexual performance, etc in order to attract women. As such, it becomes a much more joyous experience and is a blessing for me. When I was younger I would be depressed about not being the best looking guy in the room, yet now, I am the guy that gets the phone number while the good looking guys use pick up lines and get blanks because that's all they got. So in your case, try to value yourself in other ways, use them, and you will be blessed with the response you get from women and escorts the majority of the time. Your good looks can be icing on the cake!

[BUTKIS]

Very interesting conversation. I totally understand the feelings of poster. I too want the provider to be attracted to me. It can lead to a better experience which we all want. But attraction is very personal and comes in many forms. I would suggest that if you are respectful and friendly and relaxed, which can be so hard for a first-time experience, the person will enjoy your company. But it doesn't always work. Read the reviews. Better odds for a good experience. This can be a long journey and it will change over time. Any way you look at it, you'll feel better after you do it.

[justvisiting2016]

Very interesting conversation..

Yes, conversations like this thread are one of the best parts of the forum. Everyone has to work through their issues and when seeing escorts or dealing with sexual identity issues, many people may not have someone to confide in. A forum is a good place to share ideas and talk things through.

[dt5494]

I remember my first experience still and it was one of my best. What made it great was the lady wanted to watch me shower before we started. She was so turned as was I by this that it made the session extremely erotic for both of us.

[merelypink]

super important!!

[PrinceVegeta]

Yes, conversations like this thread are one of the best parts of the forum. Everyone has to work through their issues and when seeing escorts or dealing with sexual identity issues, many people may not have someone to confide in. A forum is a good place to share ideas and talk things through.

I appreciate these words, Just. I didn't really have any other way of conveying my thoughts and feelings on this matter. So it's nice to know this was a solid place to turn to. For my part, having read everyone's thoughts, I can appreciate that attraction comes in various forms and I TOTALLY get that it's not the job of the provider to be attracted to her clients. From a consumer standpoint, this isn't like buying a TV to me. I want the lady I'm with to enjoy my company and my time and, IMHO, that starts with not finding me repulsive. I don't think I could enjoy the experience at all if I could tell a woman wasn't into me...regardless of if she's trans or not. Just who I am. Thanks for letting me express as much. Cheers.