-
Last edited by angrybitch; 04-25-2020, 04:30 PM. -
Ciao. I like this.... -
Not me , i hate it, i think it's autobiographical , one minute i feel ok and half cute, then all of a sudden i'm disgusted by what i see, my big ugly hands bother me when i brush my teeth and my arms when im holding my makeup container, and when im going for a shower i see myself in the mirror and i feel ridiculous and gross and i dont see anything feminine about myself whatsoever. And last night i broke down and did speed after over a year clean, last time was xmas eve 2018, that's too long to count, the last binge i started that day and didnt do it since, it was the longest i've ever gone without relapsing. And i haven't taken my hormones in like 7 days, i keep tearing them off cuz im in an internal warzone, fuck it was going well for a while.Originally posted by Thx1138 View Post
But i made a 6min 30 second song in less than 24 hours, i forgot to drink water and go pee, my pee is dark orange and my lips and mouth are all irritated, fucken mofo drug life , when u think you got out, they pull ya back in again, badabing badaboom va fangul.
Anyways here's the almost complete song, didnt rest my ears at all so who knows maybe it's just white noise or something
https://soundcloud.com/melissalove_m...-unmasteredwip
boom boom boom boom shclap boom boom shcapl boom chickachica chicka chicka chicka phewshoooooooo......
Comment
-
One day at at time. Don't judge today, for what happened yesterday. One can only go forward, regardless of what behind you.
you gotta take care of yourself. Proper food/water/rest....
can I ask why you stopped taking hormones?Comment
-
Idk why, i just went to take a shower and looked at myself naked in the mirror and felt disgusted and despair, and hada meltdown and got unstable and ripped my patches off, then put them back on but did the same thing when the next shower came , i just get sick of fighting with myself all the time, idk whats wrong with me, maybe i have bpd. And i didnt wanna do speed, i tried to fight it for a few days but it just got really heavy, now i regret it though cuz i was pretty proud of not taking speed for like a yr and half. But it was nice to be almost en trance , totally absorbed and focused on making some music and its nice like if i dont exist then, i dont have a body, only sounds.
Tranny Trance 138 bpm https://soundcloud.com/melissalove_mtl/tranny-138bpm
Originally posted by Thx1138 View PostComment
-
Well, now, be proud for not doing for one day. Then tomorrow, it can be for two days... and so on.....tu peux le faire.....Comment
-
Just have to finish what i have left then i'll try to not go get more, promise.Originally posted by Thx1138 View Post
Comment
-
Take care. ........tu peux le faireComment
-
-
-
My best is never all that great, im very sub par.
But I didn't go get more, yet!
except I'm coming down now but cant sleep and my brain won't stop.
at least i'll lose a few lbs , pros and cons , don't have to sleep or eat for days on end, forgot to drink enough water I'm dehydrated and I chewed inside of my lips, didn't have any death thoughts for a time, made some music forgot I existed...think I have carpel tunnel syndrome from excessive computer time.
Oh and my boobs are vanishing, I'm just gonna chop off my hair and wear baggy dike clothes , I'm asexual anyways so what do I care
Voila, un journee comme tant d'autres.
Sauf jai reussi pour le moment, meme si jai gout de me gelee en tabarnouche
Comment
|
|
- If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Tweet
Comment