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  • Money!

    Because I care for you....read, and do as instructed for your health and well being.....



    MONEY....

    It can buy a House

    But not a home

    It can buy a Bed

    But not Sleep

    It can buy a Clock

    But not Time

    It can buy a Book

    But not Knowledge

    It can buy a Position

    But not Respect

    It can buy Medicine

    But not Health

    It can buy Blood

    But not Life

    It can buy Sex

    But not Love

    Money isn't everything, And it often causes pain and sufferings.

    I tell you all this because I am your friend,

    and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...

    So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

    I ACCEPT CASH, MONEY ORDERS,

    PERSONAL CHEQUES, CASHIERS CHEQUES,

    BAGS OF GOLD, BARS OF PLATINUM, ETC.

    PLEASE: NO CHILDREN AS PAYMENTS.

    THEY WILL BE RETURNED.


    " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

    "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

    "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."




  • #2
    Very funny Jen. People always ask if money can buy happiness, that little poem will surely answer their question.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by sensual_lover20 View Post
      Very funny Jen. People always ask if money can buy happiness, that little poem will surely answer their question.
      As a wise man once said, money can't buy happiness, but it wil put in a nice down payment on it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by jenllani View Post
        But not a home
        But not Sleep
        But not Time
        But not Knowledge
        But not Respect
        But not Health
        But not Life
        But not Love
        [B][SIZE=3]Money isn't everything
        I begin to think that money can buy these things. For example, many women like a man with stability (i.e. money) and therefore he can have a home. If a person has enough money, they can pay someone to do tasks for them which frees up their time and sleep. They can hire, contract, or consult with knowledge workers. As long as you have good character people will respect you (i.e. donate money to charities and treat others as you wish yourself to be treated). Money can buy you the healthiest foods and necessary equipment/memberships. You just need the will power to go out and exercise. Money cannot buy life though, maybe perhaps in a developing country though. Money can buy superficial love. Look at Anna Nicole Smith and the old man with billion dollar oil tycoon. Of course this is assuming your money is unlimited or high enough to a point that all wants and desires can be satisfied with your funds. In summmary, money isn't everything, but it surely is something. Money can buy happiness, but mostly superficially. My two cents.

        -SL20

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by sensual_lover20 View Post
          I begin to think that money can buy these things. For example, many women like a man with stability (i.e. money) and therefore he can have a home. If a person has enough money, they can pay someone to do tasks for them which frees up their time and sleep. They can hire, contract, or consult with knowledge workers. As long as you have good character people will respect you (i.e. donate money to charities and treat others as you wish yourself to be treated). Money can buy you the healthiest foods and necessary equipment/memberships. You just need the will power to go out and exercise. Money cannot buy life though, maybe perhaps in a developing country though. Money can buy superficial love. Look at Anna Nicole Smith and the old man with billion dollar oil tycoon. Of course this is assuming your money is unlimited or high enough to a point that all wants and desires can be satisfied with your funds. In summmary, money isn't everything, but it surely is something. Money can buy happiness, but mostly superficially. My two cents.

          -SL20
          Well said, young man. you're really mature for your age. I am pretty sure few more years, maturity will really prove what a great person you can be. I'm aware of the fact that you can combine most important aspects in your life e.g. studies, sports activities, little enjoyment and most importantly your family. and I am sure the person who receive your affections (whether a bio-girl or a T-girl) would be a fortunate and the happiest person in the world. And publicly, I would like to apologize for something little that I did to you (you know what it is) my immaturity took the best of me that time and I'm sorry! but I really cried when you and that special girl's relationships ended. coz, I realized then that the fairy tale ending of man and t-girl love affair, will never happen in my lifetime.

          (but! our reunion with her is still 'go' I just have to invite her personally or if you can do it for me, much better and please tell D** also, coz, I have no more yahoo!) I'll p.m you about the rest.


          " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

          "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

          "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



          Comment


          • #6
            ...

            Interesting.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by jenllani View Post
              Well said, young man. you're really mature for your age. I am pretty sure few more years, maturity will really prove what a great person you can be. I'm aware of the fact that you can combine most important aspects in your life e.g. studies, sports activities, little enjoyment and most importantly your family. and I am sure the person who receive your affections (whether a bio-girl or a T-girl) would be a fortunate and the happiest person in the world. And publicly, I would like to apologize for something little that I did to you (you know what it is) my immaturity took the best of me that time and I'm sorry! but I really cried when you and that special girl's relationships ended. coz, I realized then that the fairy tale ending of man and t-girl love affair, will never happen in my lifetime.

              (but! our reunion with her is still 'go' I just have to invite her personally or if you can do it for me, much better and please tell D** also, coz, I have no more yahoo!) I'll p.m you about the rest.
              Thank you for your kind words Jen. I don't like to get too personal on the forum but I will try to give you a phone call over the next few days. Sorry, but school is piling up on me as its my last year and my company requires I meet certain covenants to work there. All the best to you!

              -J

              Comment


              • #8
                When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:

                On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

                Be very sure to get this brand.
                When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

                Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

                Now the fun part begins.
                Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

                Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized'.

                Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,
                "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson".

                HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER,
                THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!


                " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                Comment


                • #9
                  They must give good wages for that. They pay very high in waste management because people don't want to do it. This one should pay a lot. I wonder how you explain to your family and friends what you do for a living.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by sensual_lover20 View Post
                    Thank you for your kind words Jen. I don't like to get too personal on the forum but I will try to give you a phone call over the next few days. Sorry, but school is piling up on me as its my last year and my company requires I meet certain covenants to work there. All the best to you!

                    -J
                    It's totally understandable, and I commend you for your honesty and Thanks! -j, all the best too! and last but not least I'm really willing to suffer even for you, but first you needed to send me all your money ha ha ha.


                    " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                    "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                    "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Classic Affairs

                      A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

                      One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8pm.

                      The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

                      He put on his shoes and drove home.

                      "Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

                      "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex whole afternoon."

                      "You lying bastard!

                      You've been playing golf!"






                      A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always
                      talked about having a son.

                      They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

                      The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

                      The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.

                      He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

                      He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
                      Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?"

                      The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"







                      A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

                      "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

                      "One cent?" the man thought.

                      He glanced at the menu and asked, "How much for a nice juicy steak
                      and a bottle of wine?"

                      "A nickel," the barman replied.

                      "Nickel?" exclaimed the man. "where's the guy who owns this place?"

                      The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

                      The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

                      The bartender replied,

                      "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."


                      " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                      "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                      "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Live While You're Alive

                        LIVE WHILE YOU'RE ALIVE


                        how to stay young


                        1. Try everything twice. On Madam's tombstone (Waylon and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph:
                        "Tried everything twice ...loved it both times."


                        2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches will pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches)


                        3. Keep learning: Learn more about computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devils name is Alzheimer's!


                        4. Enjoy the simple things.


                        5. Laugh often, long and loud. Until you gasp for breath... And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.


                        6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you're alive.


                        7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Remember: Your home is your refuge.


                        8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. You are worth it!


                        9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.


                        10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


                        11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time. ( now personally, this one I CAN'T DO RIGHT NOW! the rest I can follow)


                        " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                        "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                        "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Save Your Brain!

                          ALWAYS USE LEFT
                          EAR FOR MOBILE
                          PHONES

                          As received Save your brain



                          Please use left ear while using cell
                          (mobile), because if you use the right
                          one it will affect brain directly. This
                          is a true fact from Apollo medical team.


                          " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                          "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                          "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Here's a bigger file

                            It's up to you, if you want to believe this.



                            " To the world you maybe just one person, but to one person you maybe the world ."

                            "Never lie to someone who trusts you, and never trust someone who lies to you."

                            "Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."



                            Comment


                            • #15
                              ...

                              No disrespect to markerverse or jenllani. I like reading their threads and I really love telling and hearing jokes and riddles from everyone. I've shared some of mine here but I was wondering if maybe there should just be a separate thread for "Jokes only"?

                              Comment



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