and now its time for humour

[cooldude]

Actually that last joke wasn't bad. Here are a couple of jokes I heard.

A couple of newfies are coming by car to Tornto. When they gat closer they see a sign that says "Toronto left" so they go back home. Haha.

What is white and 10 inches long? Nothing.

A guy walks into a bar and puts his dog with no legs on the counter. He orders a drink and the bartender asks him the dogs name. He tells him the dog has no name. When he orders his second drink the bartender asks him again for the dogs name. the man gets angry and tells the bartender "What is the use of naming him cause he can't come when I call him!"

A group of scientists want to perform an experiment mating a human and an ape. They decide to put an ad in the paper for $500 to mate with an ape. After a few weeks they get a response from a Polish guy. He comes in and says, "Before I do this I have three requests. One is that no one can ever know about this. Second if there are any children they must be brought up Catholic. And third is that I can't pay the full $500 now so can I make installments?"

[maddplotter]

Ok, put your mind in the gutter for this one:


Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man
doing a survey. He asks, "Ladies, would you mind telling
me how you know if you've had a good night out?"

The first replies, "I come home, get into bed and if I
lay there and tingle all over, I know that I had a good
night."

The second one replies, "I come home, have a shower and
a glass of wine, get into bed, and if I tingle all over,
I know it was a good night."

The third one turns around and says, "If I get home, rip
off me knickers, throw them against the wall, and they
stick, then I know it was a good night!"

[tslisaparadise]

Ok, put your mind in the gutter for this one:


Three women walking down the street are stopped by a man
doing a survey. He asks, "Ladies, would you mind telling
me how you know if you've had a good night out?"

The first replies, "I come home, get into bed and if I
lay there and tingle all over, I know that I had a good
night."

The second one replies, "I come home, have a shower and
a glass of wine, get into bed, and if I tingle all over,
I know it was a good night."

The third one turns around and says, "If I get home, rip
off me knickers, throw them against the wall, and they
stick, then I know it was a good night!"

eeeewwwwweeeee

[kristopin]

dont eat

[ATTACH]5065[/ATTACH]


try not to eat too much garlic

[maddplotter]

A really drunk guy at a party walks up to the host and asks, ?Do you have some green toilet paper that says, ?Fuck you

The host, stunned, answers, ?Of course I don?t have any green toilet paper that says, ?Fuck you.??

?Oh, no!? the drunk cries. ?I?m really sorry?I think I just wiped my ass with your parrot.?

[maddplotter]

How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?

10 little piggies
2 calves
1 ass
1 beaver
A bunch of hares and
1 fish that no one can find.


..but for this website, it's 1 cock instead of the beaver :-)

[Rose]

Haha. These are great.

[maddplotter]

I got two more:

"Hey, congratulations to former President Bill Clinton. He
traveled to North Korea today, met with Kim Jong-Il and won
the release of those two female journalists. It was great
for Obama to use Clinton that way. I think I know how he got
him to go over there. You know, he's probably like, 'Bill,
I need you to go to North Korea for me.' 'I can't do it.
I'm completely booked. I have numerous obligations.' 'I want
you to visit a woman's prison.' 'What time's my flight?'"
--Jimmy Fallon

*********************************************

The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said,
"Children, if you could have one raw material in the world,
what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold,
because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a
Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little
Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum
is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The
teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."

The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone?"

"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see
all the sports cars outside our house!"

(.) (.)

FTW!

[tslisaparadise]

I got two more:

"Hey, congratulations to former President Bill Clinton. He
traveled to North Korea today, met with Kim Jong-Il and won
the release of those two female journalists. It was great
for Obama to use Clinton that way. I think I know how he got
him to go over there. You know, he's probably like, 'Bill,
I need you to go to North Korea for me.' 'I can't do it.
I'm completely booked. I have numerous obligations.' 'I want
you to visit a woman's prison.' 'What time's my flight?'"
--Jimmy Fallon

*********************************************

The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said,
"Children, if you could have one raw material in the world,
what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold,
because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a
Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little
Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum
is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The
teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."

The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone?"

"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see
all the sports cars outside our house!"

(.) (.)

FTW!

roflmfao, now thats too funny

[ssster2009]

Finally we are having some fun, way too much anger around lately this is sooo much better.

Now what do you look for in a girl big fake tits or a big hard cock?
or how bout this "I think barbie has a point"

Only kidding its good to see that everyone can get along at least for some period of time.

Peace

[tslisaparadise]

Finally we are having some fun, way too much anger around lately this is sooo much better.

Now what do you look for in a girl big fake tits or a big hard cock?
or how bout this "I think barbie has a point"

Only kidding its good to see that everyone can get along at least for some period of time.

Peace

oh ya its nice to be able to sleep at night now lol

[maddplotter]

Yes, let's all have a group hug. Excuse the lump in my pants.


Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

[kristopin]

more

oh ya its nice to be able to sleep at night now lol

more fun not alone.

[Wiseone26]

what more can be said...

[toban]

My what big lips you have!

what more can be said...

I'm thought I knew that tree so well, but this is so hard to believe.