Is this Possible?

[FirstTimer35]

I am 35. Straight. Married.

Started getting attracted to tgirls 4 or 5 years ago.

On the physical side I am only attracted to very feminine really passable women.
They can be big and tall, just as long as very feminine and passable.
Preferably post-op but I am kinda gradually starting to be interested in hard candy too. So doesnt have to be post-op really. Any race or nationality.

im a virgin in this. Never even met a tgirl before. I really wanna meet one who is like the above.
To begin just want to be friends and see if my sex desire is as real in person as it is online.
If not then wanna still be friends but not go further.
If it is real then wanna have a ongoing physical relationship with her that is also caring and based on friendship and matching personalities.

But I need it to be secret. Only because I am married. And course i am okay with her seeing other people and having the same type of relationship she has with me with other people as well.

This is because I believe some people are by nature poly not mono. My nature is poly. My wifes is mono. I am hoping to find a tgirl who is also poly. I know it might be a minority tho.

On the surface the solution seems to be a escort. But that is not financially realistic long term. Also I want it to be really genuine. Not based on a ongoing business deal.

I am in Ontario Canada.

I know i am being really specific and its probably not realistic to expect to find this. But does anyone think it is possible to find? If yes where? How? I dont know anyone at all in this community.

please help me understand and figure out people?

[justvisiting2016]

Yes, this is possible to find, as is anything , although not always easy.

You probably wont find it on this forum as it is an escort place , not for traditional dating

i am poly myself, I have a trans girlfriend who lives in another city (not an escort), and actually later this month she is visiting and will meet my local cis girlfriend for the first time and there should be some epic fun out of all of that. It can be found, but generally traditional dating sites have trans women on them and that is a good place to start I suppose. The so called trans dating sites have a lot of spam, guys crossdressing, ad the real people are mostly escorts anyways. okcupid, POF, tinder, etc do have trans women using them.

As for your comment "not based on an ongoing business deal".... you are married and finances played a huge role in that. Don't kid yourself... so creating an ongoing thing with an escort is not a negative at all, she would accept your situation and a genuine friendship can develop and you would not have to spend long times on dating sites and trying to meet someone. For a married man who has to keep this all secret, that is your best course of action. People who are truly poly generally don't like to be a secret, they want to be known to all partners in the relationships.

Cheers and good luck.

[FirstTimer35]

Thanks justvisiting2016

Thanks for the response justvisiting2016. Some good points there. I will look into those traditional sites you mention and think about what you say re escorts. I never been to any escorts before. I suppose part of my reluctance is feeling paranoid because the laws on it here are so unclear. And of course i am a good law abiding citizen :-p

You also talk about the "so called trans dating sites". Something i find curious about the sites I browsed so far....... they usually categorise for eg... "TV" and "TS" and "CD" and "Ladyboys" on separate pages of the site. Despite reading a few descriptions of them im still not sure i could tell anyone what the "differences" between are meant to be. But the thing i find curious is none have a category for "post-op". Which surprises me.

I know there are not as many post-op girls around compared to pre-op but surely there are enough for the sites to recognise them. From a newbie to this community perspective it seems post-op girls are kinda marginalised. At least by those trans dating sites. Maybe im wrong about it and probably just notice it more because I feel particularly attracted. but again..... surely im not the only one. There must be others out there like me who are mainly interested in post-op girls? Just kinda seems the trans dating sites are missing something really obvious there. Just an observation.

Not knowing anyone in the community, so not ever having had any conversations with anyone about this stuff also has me wondering how transgender females feel about those trans sites. Obviously everyone is individual and some will like what others hate but i just wonder if there is any general feeling from the transgender female side of the community about those sites. As you say it sounds like there is probably more chance to find a connection on traditional dating sites instead. Suppose what im trying to say is..... curious to know if transgender females tend to kinda resent the whole concept of trans dating sites on some level. For me, being on the male side of the community, the idea of trans dating sites offers clarity. But my experience of them so far? yeah, they are not very well executed. And I could definately empathise with the female side of the community for finding them distasteful in certain ways. But then maybe thats just me, someone who has never even spoken to a transgender female before, not even a hello, imagining some type of feeling some might have..... that they actually might not even have at all. Dam, that train of thought is pretty bumpy lol. I know exactly what i am trying to say but probably what i just wrote doesnt make any sense to anybody reading it. Ah well.... Im just thinking out loud. Nevermind it lol.

Hope the 3 of you have a good time! Im gonna head to the urban dictionary now find out to what "cis girlfriend" means!

[justvisiting2016]

^

Cis just means women born with a vagina. I have to use the term here so you know what I am speaking of.

The sites that are designed for trans dating are like i said, generally escorts, crossdressers, spam, fakes, etc. You are highly unlikely to meet anyone on something like that. There are regular trans women who use conventional dating sites like any other women

post op women are marginalized significantly . Remember, why do most men want to date a trans woman. the cock. Once that is gone most guys just take a pass because they already have "pussy" in their life history and are still wanting the cocks. Its not easy to be a post op woman and date like a regular civilian as they still face the same discrimination and have less men interested. Its weird but society still has a ways to go on that. I dated a post op women for about a month last year and she refused to go to "straight bars" because she still would have some assholes with drinks in them go like "are you a tranny" and shit like that. (she was very passable, but you know, you can still tell a bit in most cases).

do trans women resent trans specific dating sites? WEll, depends on who you ask. If they are not using trans as a money maker (escorting, porn, etc), then they just want to be accepted like any other woman would be accepted so a segregated website would just have them meeting nothing but guys chasing dick for the most part.

Yeah, I think our threesome thing will be fun. You know back in early december we went out to a hotel lounge for drinks and ended up talking to this young brazillian girl who was trans (she stopped in for a drink after work at a nearby store) and we all got a long so well. But she had all this family drama and cancelled two follow up dates and vanished.

[Rockheart]

If you are married and don't think your mate will ever be interested in joining in you should be careful.
Given you can find a tgirl for a relationship of some kind, you have to consider their feelings too.
If you are just looking to test the waters and feel very unsure of your attraction you may want to look at escorts.
Otherwise you can hurt someone's feelings then jealousy, anger and revenge are possible on both sides.

So if you are looking to see if you actually want to do this, pick a reputable escort that you find attractive.
You can always meet them for a drink rather than a session at first.
Sure it is not free but your discretion is also assured as the person will be professional about it.
You can try your fantasy with no strings.

Something to consider.

[FirstTimer35]

Thanks for the advice Craig. I will consider the points you make.

[Funlester]

I started seeing a trans girl in dec 2017....escort I found on bp in Toronto....I?ve been seeing her every month since and she is wonderful...I?m married and won?t change that...I would love to find a trans gf but probably not realistic...so I keep seeing my friend in Toronto,,,can?t get enough of her 🍆

[merelypink]

maybe with a lot of communication!!

[FirstTimer35]

merelypink, thanks. My question then would be..... where to find someone like this to start communicating "a lot" with? Any ideas?

Funlester, bp is gone now would you be willing to post a link or private message me a link to a website or advert for this girl you visit in Toronto? Got me curious.

[FirstTimer35]

maybe with a lot of communication!!

merelypink, thanks. My question then would be..... where to find someone like this to start communicating "a lot" with? Any ideas?

Funlester, bp is gone now would you be willing to post a link or private message me a link to a website or advert for this girl you visit in Toronto? Got me curious.