Regrets!

[uwantit]

i regret not finding this website sooner

[Haley]

He was walking away like a child that just got their candy stolen. He had flowers and what looked like a gift that was wrapped. I felt my heart sting and this hole was in my belly for days afterwards. Writing it right now, I still feel bad about what happened. I still to this day can not get that image out of my head of him walking away with those flowers slumped by his leg and his head down. I always wish I were able to know how to get a hold of him to tell him how sorry I was. But that never happened and probably never will.

I remember bringing yellow roses for this girl once (her favorite color) but she stood me up at the last minute. I threw them on the ground and drove away disappointed.

Both of these stories just break my heart. I absolutely hate to see anyone disappointed and to hear it from both perspectives is truly sad.

I know I come across as a moody bitch in some, if not all of my posts, (I’m sure the Admin will agree) but I do have a big heart and I do have a lot of respect for the men who visit with me. Like Tasha said, “It does not go unnoticed to some of us what a huge deal it is to meet us in person. It sometimes takes a lot of guts (for the guys) to not only show up but to pick up that phone.”

I can think of only one time when I have stood up a client, and it was honestly by accident. I was still very new in the business and I had completely forgotten about the appointment and was out with some friends when he called to ask why I wasn’t answering the door. I still feel bad for the gentleman over four years later, and would love to make it up to him, but like Tasha, I have no way of contacting him.

Jan 1st, I woke up late and started to fix myself as I planned to attend Goodhandy's thursday New Year event. Phone rang, younger brother answered the phone, I could hear commotions from upstairs, then saw my Mom running towards me crying, she said my brother's gone. I am heartbroken right now and I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself.

I am so absolutely sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how much you must hurt. I almost lost my younger brother in Afghanistan last year, and it scares me to know he could still go at any time. It would be the most devastating thing for me as we are only 11 months apart and are very close in spirit, so I feel so sorry for you to have gone through it. I am so, so sorry.

Be brave though. You’re brother sounds like he would want you to be happy with or without him.

One time my friend and I robbed my Mothers best friend. She had done nothing wrong and there is no way I can justify it. Since then I have been to rehab, alcoholics anonymous and stayed clean and sober for 18 years. One part of the "recovery" process is making amends to those I've harmed. I can't seem to bring myself to do this one. My Mother suspected I had done it and during my amends with her she made it clear that she did not want me to tell her friend. So I kind of got stuck with a loophole that gave me an out but I will always regret that one.

I did something very similar back in 1988, except it was a random farmhouse on a road trip, and although it was over 20 years ago, I still regret it to this day. I wish I could make amends, but I have no idea or memory of where the house is, so I guess it’ll be one of those occasions that will haunt me till the end of my days.

I have a friend who attends 7 or 8 AA meeting a week and while I don’t have an addiction, I’ll sometimes go with him because I’ve found the twelve steps to be an amazing life tool which should be considered by anyone who feels the need to get a better idea of themselves. It’s an amazing program full of inspiring people, and has certainly added greater depth and meaning to my own life. Congratulations to your 18 years of sobriety, and for making as many amends as you have. I hope you get to eat a lot of cakes.

Probably not many girls in Calgary though ten years ago, if any.

Guess you missed me when I was there from 1993 to 2002? Or maybe I should say, “Sorry I missed you?”

[bondjames30]

Fresh Flowers

If it was fresh flowers and red wrapping paper........that was me....

[youngboy4ts]

Tasha thanks for sharing you got guts to share your regret.
We make mistake and learn.

Respect!!!

[TS_Roxy]

My Way !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aLC3uT3aCoE

[Oracle]

Wow!

I was thinking that you girls have no heart,but I see how you can be,my first idea was that you want to look like girls to make easy money,but now I dont know what to think

I thought this would be an interesting topic. I also think that you guys need to see that away from the drama, some of us are real people with real problems and more important we have real feelings. And maybe you guys might like to read a topic that is not about fighting and has no self promotion in it what so ever. Who knew that could happen..lol


So my topic is open to all that wish to share there views and share there own regret story's.


So this happened a couple of years ago when I was living in Etobicoke. First you need to understand that the problem with Toronto and I am sure every where else as well. There are so many guys that never show up, even people you have seen before, they sometimes do not bother to show up either. They never call to cancel which is a pain in the butt and a waste of our time. So most girls do not bother to get ready till you call from that pay phone.


Myself, I live a very normal boring life, hard to believe I know, but it is the truth. I sit around in shorts and a T-shirt and watch TV, play video games and go online and write story book posts. I never wear make up and my hair is always in a pony when I am at home. I am just a plan Jane till I have a client. But I never bother to get ready for that client till he calls and he is on his way. I also shower as soon as I get up, but have to shower just before someone shows up at my house. I can not see anyone unless I shower first.


So like any other day, I was checking emails and looking at porn...yes that is how I start everyday..lol. I get my call from my client and he confirms his booking for 2pm. I say o.k and go back to my porn. At 1:45 he calls from the pay phone and I tell him to come over. I go to get into the shower, and I find out that I have no hot water. My landlord only lived down the hall so I asked him to come fix it. He said it should be fixed in an hour, but he did not know for sure what the problem was.


My buzzer rings right at 2pm and I have to tell the guy the story and to please call me in an hour to make sure it is fixed. He says something and walks out. He never did come back and I was without hot water till later that night. But when he was leaving, I looked out my window, I wish I never did to be honest. He was walking away like a child that just got there candy stolen. He had flowers and what looked like a gift that was wrapped. I felt my heart sting and this hole was in my belly for days afterwards. Writing it right now, I still feel bad about what happened.


I think this needs to be said. It does not go unnoticed to some of us what a huge deal it is to meet us in person. For some we are like a celebrity or like there dream girl. We are the chance for them to fulfill there life long fantasy. It sometimes takes a lot of guts to not only show up but to pick up that phone. To some it is like a romantic date, they show us this with gifts.


Anyways, I know that not having any hot water was not my fault. There was no way I would ever see a client without showering and making myself ready for them. But, I should have started to get ready much earlier and then when he called I could have told him before he showed up. Then, I would have never known what a nice guy he was and I would not have felt that guilt. He always might have come back and not fault that I have wasted his time.


It really effected me so much that, after seeing him leave like that, I called a friend that lived in the next building. I went over and showered and then came back to my house and got more done up then I ever had before for a client. I sat there and waited for almost 2 hours, pay back was a bitch for me that day! In the end I was not upset with him that he did not show back up or call, I felt bad because he went to so much effort to see me and tried to show me so much respect.


I still to this day can not get that image out of my head of him walking away with those flowers slumped by his leg and his head down. I always wish I was able to know how to get a hold of him to tell him how sorry I was. But that never happened and probably never will.


Anyways, thats my regret. It may seem like I should have way more over the years, or at least bigger regrets. But this one has stood out in my mind as one of the regrets I regret the most.


OK lets here your thoughts or please tell your own regret story!


Tasha

[Lani]

I was thinking that you girls have no heart,but I see how you can be,my first idea was that you want to look like girls to make easy money,but now I dont know what to think

You have no Idea how big of a heart most of us possess, some were just scarred and pained by all the trials that we had to endure.

And how are you btw? Belated Happy New Year.

I am so absolutely sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how much you must hurt. I almost lost my younger brother in Afghanistan last year, and it scares me to know he could still go at any time. It would be the most devastating thing for me as we are only 11 months apart and are very close in spirit, so I feel so sorry for you to have gone through it. I am so, so sorry.

Be brave though. You’re brother sounds like he would want you to be happy with or without him.

Thank You.

[markerverse]

My dear Tasha

Let it pass as it must. Whatever appears to be a total disaster never really is. Your lengthy narrative shows your humanity and, your desire to commit to a future correction. Further lamentation or self-recrimination on your part is unnecessary. By the way I commend your personal and elevated standards of hygiene.

I too would extend myself to make an impressionable first appearance in a first time encounter. After all if we make a selection based on the girls attractive images or, find in the girls voice a sense of warm welcome, we're duty bound to extend our most attractive self.

Your business ventures are fraught with challenge , difficulty, tension , and far less often, an enjoyable get-to-gether with interesting company. Savoir the 'good' whenever it makes an appearance.

A woman who is capable of using the professional business skills you have demonstrated over several years, never need hang her head. Stand straight and tall
Tasha. You've been fair and firm with the many who avail themselves of your ethical self. After pouring over your
story, I might even find the courage to meet such a giving person.

Heads up ..... tomorrow is ahead.

[snoodle]

Very Touching story Tasha,

Maybe he will come back after reading this post.

But you could have just washed your balls,ass and armpits with cold water put some perfume and you would have been fine.

For me

Regrets... I've had a few...but then again....too few too mention. Lol

I thought this would be an interesting topic. I also think that you guys need to see that away from the drama, some of us are real people with real problems and more important we have real feelings. And maybe you guys might like to read a topic that is not about fighting and has no self promotion in it what so ever. Who knew that could happen..lol


So my topic is open to all that wish to share there views and share there own regret story's.


So this happened a couple of years ago when I was living in Etobicoke. First you need to understand that the problem with Toronto and I am sure every where else as well. There are so many guys that never show up, even people you have seen before, they sometimes do not bother to show up either. They never call to cancel which is a pain in the butt and a waste of our time. So most girls do not bother to get ready till you call from that pay phone.


Myself, I live a very normal boring life, hard to believe I know, but it is the truth. I sit around in shorts and a T-shirt and watch TV, play video games and go online and write story book posts. I never wear make up and my hair is always in a pony when I am at home. I am just a plan Jane till I have a client. But I never bother to get ready for that client till he calls and he is on his way. I also shower as soon as I get up, but have to shower just before someone shows up at my house. I can not see anyone unless I shower first.


So like any other day, I was checking emails and looking at porn...yes that is how I start everyday..lol. I get my call from my client and he confirms his booking for 2pm. I say o.k and go back to my porn. At 1:45 he calls from the pay phone and I tell him to come over. I go to get into the shower, and I find out that I have no hot water. My landlord only lived down the hall so I asked him to come fix it. He said it should be fixed in an hour, but he did not know for sure what the problem was.


My buzzer rings right at 2pm and I have to tell the guy the story and to please call me in an hour to make sure it is fixed. He says something and walks out. He never did come back and I was without hot water till later that night. But when he was leaving, I looked out my window, I wish I never did to be honest. He was walking away like a child that just got there candy stolen. He had flowers and what looked like a gift that was wrapped. I felt my heart sting and this hole was in my belly for days afterwards. Writing it right now, I still feel bad about what happened.


I think this needs to be said. It does not go unnoticed to some of us what a huge deal it is to meet us in person. For some we are like a celebrity or like there dream girl. We are the chance for them to fulfill there life long fantasy. It sometimes takes a lot of guts to not only show up but to pick up that phone. To some it is like a romantic date, they show us this with gifts.


Anyways, I know that not having any hot water was not my fault. There was no way I would ever see a client without showering and making myself ready for them. But, I should have started to get ready much earlier and then when he called I could have told him before he showed up. Then, I would have never known what a nice guy he was and I would not have felt that guilt. He always might have come back and not fault that I have wasted his time.


It really effected me so much that, after seeing him leave like that, I called a friend that lived in the next building. I went over and showered and then came back to my house and got more done up then I ever had before for a client. I sat there and waited for almost 2 hours, pay back was a bitch for me that day! In the end I was not upset with him that he did not show back up or call, I felt bad because he went to so much effort to see me and tried to show me so much respect.


I still to this day can not get that image out of my head of him walking away with those flowers slumped by his leg and his head down. I always wish I was able to know how to get a hold of him to tell him how sorry I was. But that never happened and probably never will.


Anyways, thats my regret. It may seem like I should have way more over the years, or at least bigger regrets. But this one has stood out in my mind as one of the regrets I regret the most.


OK lets here your thoughts or please tell your own regret story!


Tasha

[Lani]

Keep Going

I'll second the motion Tasha's request to keep this thread going, I don't want it to fade away or die. You will be surprised at how many of us horny (lol) clique of people here are hiding the pains, remorses and regrets, some are taking drugs to numb the pains, alcohol to drown their sorrows or even sex to forget their emotions (a big dildo ram up your ass could even make you forget how to count up to 10) believe me I know, just don't ask.

As much as I have fun teasing my favorite people here, I also consider their serious personalities, they are having their fantasies here fulfilled, and also shows their humanity. Some, if not most of T-girl admirers are married, divorced or soon to be, in a relationships or single whose family are still in limbo about their persona.

Those who are open about their lifestyles and choices are admirable, they are the bravest of soul and the future hope of transgendered people to be their partners in life. Regrets doesn't have to be just solely about personal tragedies, it could be about your purchase of a new LCD tv, your new car, your Bell or Roger's subscription, the brand of condoms you bought that broke when you let it use on you by an escort with a 10 inches cock, something like that, or your big regrets if by force of curiousity you clicked on this thread hoping to see a Tgirls arse and cock only to read what for you is just crap. However, good thing is; Reading a thread or post this long could prevent early Alzheimer's, not sure about a nervous breakdown that this reading may cause though lol!. OMG! you have to excuse me I got to see my therapist asap. .........

By the way, my biggest regret today is shovelling our driveway, I got a back pain now (and nope! it's not because of that dildo). You people in condominiums/ apartments are the luckiest people in the world.





Below are some of the poignant regrets stories of this thread:

I thought this would be an interesting topic. I also think that you guys need to see that away from the drama, some of us are real people with real problems and more important we have real feelings. And maybe you guys might like to read a topic that is not about fighting and has no self promotion in it what so ever. Who knew that could happen..lol


So my topic is open to all that wish to share there views and share there own regret story's.


So this happened a couple of years ago when I was living in Etobicoke. First you need to understand that the problem with Toronto and I am sure every where else as well. There are so many guys that never show up, even people you have seen before, they sometimes do not bother to show up either. They never call to cancel which is a pain in the butt and a waste of our time. So most girls do not bother to get ready till you call from that pay phone.


Myself, I live a very normal boring life, hard to believe I know, but it is the truth. I sit around in shorts and a T-shirt and watch TV, play video games and go online and write story book posts. I never wear make up and my hair is always in a pony when I am at home. I am just a plan Jane till I have a client. But I never bother to get ready for that client till he calls and he is on his way. I also shower as soon as I get up, but have to shower just before someone shows up at my house. I can not see anyone unless I shower first.


So like any other day, I was checking emails and looking at porn...yes that is how I start everyday..lol. I get my call from my client and he confirms his booking for 2pm. I say o.k and go back to my porn. At 1:45 he calls from the pay phone and I tell him to come over. I go to get into the shower, and I find out that I have no hot water. My landlord only lived down the hall so I asked him to come fix it. He said it should be fixed in an hour, but he did not know for sure what the problem was.


My buzzer rings right at 2pm and I have to tell the guy the story and to please call me in an hour to make sure it is fixed. He says something and walks out. He never did come back and I was without hot water till later that night. But when he was leaving, I looked out my window, I wish I never did to be honest. He was walking away like a child that just got there candy stolen. He had flowers and what looked like a gift that was wrapped. I felt my heart sting and this hole was in my belly for days afterwards. Writing it right now, I still feel bad about what happened.


I think this needs to be said. It does not go unnoticed to some of us what a huge deal it is to meet us in person. For some we are like a celebrity or like there dream girl. We are the chance for them to fulfill there life long fantasy. It sometimes takes a lot of guts to not only show up but to pick up that phone. To some it is like a romantic date, they show us this with gifts.


Anyways, I know that not having any hot water was not my fault. There was no way I would ever see a client without showering and making myself ready for them. But, I should have started to get ready much earlier and then when he called I could have told him before he showed up. Then, I would have never known what a nice guy he was and I would not have felt that guilt. He always might have come back and not fault that I have wasted his time.


It really effected me so much that, after seeing him leave like that, I called a friend that lived in the next building. I went over and showered and then came back to my house and got more done up then I ever had before for a client. I sat there and waited for almost 2 hours, pay back was a bitch for me that day! In the end I was not upset with him that he did not show back up or call, I felt bad because he went to so much effort to see me and tried to show me so much respect.


I still to this day can not get that image out of my head of him walking away with those flowers slumped by his leg and his head down. I always wish I was able to know how to get a hold of him to tell him how sorry I was. But that never happened and probably never will.


Anyways, thats my regret. It may seem like I should have way more over the years, or at least bigger regrets. But this one has stood out in my mind as one of the regrets I regret the most.


OK lets here your thoughts or please tell your own regret story!


Tasha

one of my regrets is having found the tgirl world of toronto at 58. so many years wasted. you young guys are so lucky.

I'm sorry for your loss Jennlani,

I thought I should post a real regret. I try not to regret much because when I was younger I was really into partying, fighting, drinking and doing and many drugs as possible. I did a few things that some would find disturbing. In order to supplement my income I would rob houses. I robbed alot of houses. I would take jewellery and sell it at gold traders. One time my friend and I robbed my Mothers best friend. She had done nothing wrong and there is no way I can justify it. I had a need, saw the opportunity and took it. The was over 25 years ago. Since then I have been to rehab, alcoholics anonymous and stayed clean and sober for 18 years. One part of the "recovery" process is making amends to those I've harmed. I can't seem to bring myself to do this one. My Mother suspected I had done it and during my amends with her she made it clear that she did not want me to tell her friend. So I kind of got stuck with a loophole that gave me an out but I will always regret that one.

KC

That's awful, my best wishes.
I lost my sister a few years ago a very young age, I had alot of regrets because we had not been close for some time. Dont' beat yourself up too much about it, family problems happen.
My girlfriend in Thailand tried to take her life a few weeks ago, I feel really bad since I cannot go to visit her for some time. I'm sure glad she is still around. Now I am going to do everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen again.
She's all I got.
Peace and Love

Life can be very cold & cruel, both my parents left this world with me furious at them, my judgement failed me as well, my wife as well left me during my most difficult times, for her own selfish ways, but I still do love life, it was the greatest gift anyone can have, we must all treasure it, and the friends i have do make the pain go away.

Life can be alot tougher, just visit any hospital, or watch the news, or go downtown and see the homeless.

Life is hard when you lose one parent, but believe me it's even tougher when both are gone. Keep your family and friends close to you, and don't take them for granted, cas you will need them, and they will need you.

I can think of only one time when I have stood up a client, and it was honestly by accident. I was still very new in the business and I had completely forgotten about the appointment and was out with some friends when he called to ask why I wasn’t answering the door. I still feel bad for the gentleman over four years later, and would love to make it up to him, but like Tasha, I have no way of contacting him.

I did something very similar back in 1988, except it was a random farmhouse on a road trip, and although it was over 20 years ago, I still regret it to this day. I wish I could make amends, but I have no idea or memory of where the house is, so I guess it’ll be one of those occasions that will haunt me till the end of my days.

I have been fighting about my feelings since the second day of January and the days that follows, whether to post what is inside my heart right now. As I don't feel like doing a thread about it, finally 'regrets' thread by Tasha. But as I am about to regained my strength to do it, comes the infighting from some forum members on this thread and I just decided not to do it anymore, as I am expecting more strife to ensue and will just drown this thread and regrets stories posted here. I have painstakingly and emotionally battling to write this. But I have to share. this could somehow make me cope.

As I mentioned my excitement the last holiday season (Christmas) which I said is my favorite season, which we celebrate joyfully with only one sad event when a friend passed away a week before Dec. 25. And I said that life should and must go on.

And every Christmas day I took charge in calling siblings back home to chit-chat and for them to talk and greet our Mother here in Canada on this joyous occasion. And I skip one brother coz, of some words been spoken after the death of our father here in Canada almost 2 years now. He (my brother) was supposed to join us here but decided to stay put in the Philippines, but recently has plans to try it out here, I was told that one of the reason he doesn't want to come here is, he doesn't want to suffer the fate of my Father. He ( my brother) is separated from his family just like my Father due to indiscretions and extra marital affair and his fear that his grown up children here will just treat him poorly, and won't take care of him if he get sick, just he said what happened to my Father.

I was hurt, offended as it being alluded to us here who took care of him, I told my other sibling to tell him, what he said are untrue and unfair, as he wasn't here and never been here the whole time our Father is gravely ill and he doesn't know how it is to start and make a life here in Canada, the culture, the people, the language and the climate that you have to adapt to, as he himself is so scared to try. But other sibling says he didn't mean it and doesn't accused us of neglecting our duties when our Father got sick, and I really have accepted that maybe he has no intentions to hurt our feelings, especially mine, as he was one of the member in my family to accept me when I'm in my transformation, I never heard any unkind remarks or even jest from him, he didn't even cringed when I start dressing up as a girl. He totally supported me in my transitioning, he and me share the same virtue, we can easily make people laugh and we both have the same sense of humor.

December 31st,I spent New Years eve in a downtown club in Toronto, walk to Nathan Philip Square 15 minutes before the fireworks, then proceed to Goodhandy's to greet people I know there, as I know they have some New Year event for men going on in there, leave after a few minutes.

Jan 1st, I woke up late and started to fix myself as I planned to attend Goodhandy's thursday New Year event. Phone rang, younger brother answered the phone, I could hear commotions from upstairs, then saw my Mom running towards me crying, she said my brother's gone, massive heart attack, made some phone calls myself hoping it's isn't true as he's known to pull pranks like that before, only this time it's not a prank.

I was even planning to call and greet him a belated Christmas greetings and wish him all the best and luck for 2009, and to do our usual holiday exchanges of stories and was to ask him if he received his share of little cash as gift, good thing we sent the money before christmas, coz, he would really think that I'm still upset with him.

Regrets, I had a few, but this one is the biggest, I wish I didn't let those silly words and pride affected me and I should have known better, my sense of fair judgement failed me. I feel my heart is ripped open right now, aggravated everytime I see my Mother crying looking at his photo's in our family album, This friday she and my younger brother ( the youngest in the family ) are flying to Manila to bury him. The cost for all of us to go is a fortune, considering the none advance booking and still a peak season to travel to Asia, and I know that I would die if I go and see him without a life as he was full of the last time I visit, so I decided not to go with them. I wish 2009 didn't arrive, and I hate life when it throws punches at you. I am heartboken right now and I don't know If I'll ever forgive myself.

[sensual_lover20]

I regret having Indian buffet for lunch today. Man am I ever paying for that now

[Lani]

HA!



Serves you right.

I regret having Indian buffet for lunch today. Man am I ever paying for that now

[Wiseone26]

hmm, been away on personal stuff..

regrets..

- dying alone
- giving into my cravings for sugar which will kill me due to my diabetes
- not taking a chance with a guy a few years ago

Tasha, truth shall set you free. good on you.

Haley, you always stand me up, or just push me into a bush. wth!

[kristopin]

very caring

this thread has allowed us to express ourselves as deeply caring and compassionate people. we have seen a lot of the goodness in peoples hearts and we have learned that we are not alone.

love to you all.

[jimlloyd]

Regrets that last

I'm new to this forum but found this discussion to be heart-warming.
I always considered myself totally straight till about 15 years ago in my early 20s when I first discovered bi and tgirl porn.
Even after enjoying these films I'd never openly discuss it with anyone. It was so bad that I denied myself the possibility with people who were interested and offering. I suppose my major regret was a female dancer who had a Jewish boyfriend who she wanted to have me join them for a bi threesome. I was too afraid to admit that it turned me on. At one point she rubbed my arm, I was wearing a t-shirt and said "skin is skin, it all feels the same" and added "you won't have to do anything you don't want to". I got ice cold and said no.
I regretted it 2 minutes after and now more than 10 years after. She was a beautiful blonde and I'm sure her boyfriend let go of his reservations and went along for the ride. I regret not having joined them at least once.

I have, in the last 4 years had a few opportunities with Tgirls. Khyla, Jaris, Angee, Amanda Lee and also Barbie. I've enjoyed oral and fingering. Angee was the first to "dominate" me if you will. She took control and made me feel helpless. It was a rush of an experience and I've been slowly taking down my walls to try and be more open-minded. I had just recently decided I wanted to try and bottom and had even decided I wanted to try with Layla - only to find out she just retired (sound of dream bubble bursting). I respect her decision but now want to know if there are any highly recommended top gurls in Montreal that anyone may suggest or even offer to be my teacher. Please get back.

Tasha, thanks for starting this thread.