Husband into trans escorts

[Somewan]

Hello,

I feel very strange posting in this forum. But I found out that my husband of 16 years has had a serious obsession with TGirls. He made one attempt to go to a hotel to have sex with an escort (chickened out and never went into the room), twice to a bar, once a lap dance and recently reached out to some escorts to buy them a drink. He claims its a fetish and doesn’t understand it, is very certain he is not bi. He said that he looks at trans porn only now. He 3 attempts before we had kids, and our sex life was good.

I am so shell shocked and confused. We have small children together. I am trying to make sense of things and I cannot. My whole brain and emotional system is shut down.

I don’t understand why tgirls and strictly for pleasure, and I also feel like apart from that his conscious intention to cheat to satisfy his fantasy. He claims he never went through with it, but I am not sure I trust him anymore and I have no guarantee that he won’t should he muster up more courage.

Please help me make sense of things. Why are you attracted to TGirls? I understand that they look like beautiful women to you, but they have a penis. Have any of you explored the fetish? Talk to a therapist?

Thank you! No judgment, just trying to understand.

[Somewan]

Thank you for taking the time to reply. But may I ask, why tg pre op? I mean if these men are straight why are they into penis? A vagina is a major anatomical part of being a woman. It is what mainly separates women from men. The fact that it is a birthing canal and that it looks and feels different and responds to an arousal to facilitate lubrication for an easier intercourse. If a man is attracted to a penis that is already a signal that he is not exactly heterosexual.

You mentioned your clients. Do you mind giving a thought to what those clients have in common? Meaning their personalities? Do they seem very insecure, do they want to be dominated? Do they seem a bit more meek, shy, or assertive? Anything that you can think of that ties them together?

[yeroc006]

Was your husband exposed to hardcore pornography at a young age?

I know I was , and as a young adult I watched alot of porn(hetro)....even though there was access to gay porn I didnt watch?

I think constant exposure to hard core pornography leaves the user seeking a h newer dopamine rush....

I dont think "therapy" is going to "cure" anyone.

I wouldn't judge your husband too harshly, although society likes to label and judge people I think you would surprised that alot of hetro.men are atrracted to trans women(pre op).

I read somewhere its one of top searches on Porn Hub, and IF there wasnt demand it wouldn't be there.

Your husband definitely shouldn't be going behind your back cheating with ANYONE.

Your husband could be 99% attracted to feminine features and vaginas and still like "kink" stuff.

Maybe gender fluid, partially bi-sexual.

I know I do not like kissing a man NOR do I like watching 2 men kiss or even have sex....but love kissing a beautiful trans women and like watching tgirls have sex?

Weird eh?

[Luvs2BeTopped]

Sexual monogamy is dead to be honest. The idea of only having sex with one person for the rest of your life is absurd in this day and age when so many gorgeous people are available and accessible either IRL due to the population boom or online, and just our oversexualized culture in general makes sexual monogamy very unrealistic.

As for why your husband is attracted to trans women in particular, well, a lot of us like dick, most are just not attracted to the body that comes with it. That's why trans women are so hot to people like us, they represent the best of both worlds. Cocks feel so good and there's something so hot about watching a cock get hard, feeling it in your hands and mouth and then watching and tasting that sweet load once you know you've satisfied them to completion. The visual representation and physical taste of orgasm! HOT!

Men also have a prostate gland which is stimulated through anal sex, so a cock feels really good up the ass when done right and a strapon just doesn't feel the same so it's a sensation you can't get from a woman.

It's such a turn on to be with a woman who has a sex drive as strong and frequent as a man's, and can relate to and feel the same type of sexual arousal as us. Also, when you watch a trans woman cum, you KNOW you satisfied her, whereas biological women can fake orgasms and don't orgasm as often or easily. Trans women just have something that biological women don't, that's all there is to it.

Here is the truth of the matter, your husband is attracted to trans women and that is never going to change. It's part of who he is. He says he's never gone through with it but you are right to be skeptical, and to be frank it's probably just a matter of time until he does.

You have a choice to make: divorce him or accept him. If you choose to accept him I suggest sexually opening up your marriage, engaging in threesomes, swinging, having 1 on 1 sex with other partners etc. Give him his sexual freedom and enjoy yours too. Life is so much more enjoyable when you are free to enjoy all your sexual interests. If your marriage is otherwise good, no need to let jealousy over sex with others ruin it. That's my opinion.

[Somewan]

Was your husband exposed to hardcore pornography at a young age?

I know I was , and as a young adult I watched alot of porn(hetro)....even though there was access to gay porn I didnt watch?

I think constant exposure to hard core pornography leaves the user seeking a h newer dopamine rush....

I dont think "therapy" is going to "cure" anyone.

I wouldn't judge your husband too harshly, although society likes to label and judge people I think you would surprised that alot of hetro.men are atrracted to trans women(pre op).

I read somewhere its one of top searches on Porn Hub, and IF there wasnt demand it wouldn't be there.

Your husband definitely shouldn't be going behind your back cheating with ANYONE.

Your husband could be 99% attracted to feminine features and vaginas and still like "kink" stuff.

Maybe gender fluid, partially bi-sexual.

I know I do not like kissing a man NOR do I like watching 2 men kiss or even have sex....but love kissing a beautiful trans women and like watching tgirls have sex?

Weird eh?

Thanks for an honest and thorough reply. I believe you are correct, too much porn leads down a path of desensitization, and a search for a bigger high. And you are right about the role of the dopamine effect. Addiction is always about the rush of dopamine and an addiction to its constant impact. Thus, aside from fitness its important to stop chasing the rush and regulate constant need to satisfy any desire that may create a dependency.

I also appreciate you explaining why a dick on transsexual is such a turn on for you. Being that you are sharing…

So do vaginas turn you on? I understand that its hard to know if a woman is truly orgasming, however a woman’s arousal can be demonstrated in her discharge, the engorgement of her labia. I remember how my partners loved how wet I would get, it was a major turn on. There is also a very different feel of a vagina vs an anus. There is softness and warmth and wetness. Something that is actually quite feminine. Do you not find vaginas appealing visually? You describe your attraction to a dick with such passion, that it tells me you enjoy the look and the feel of it probably more than a vagina.

Another question that puzzles me is what would this whole segment population with this orientation of fetish do pre-plastic surgery? I mean before hormone therapy, before breast enlargement before face feminization… where were all these trans lovers? Would you fantasize about a feminine cross dresser you think?

I appreciate that you share my sentiment that he shouldnt be pursuing a path of cheating. The idea of him acting on a fetish, and actively seeking to satisfy it while we are married is disturbing. Be it a TG or someone else. I am not promiscuous and understand there is temptation, but to actually schedule appointments to cheat is not appropriate. This happened pre kids, so he could have told me and we would have split so he would pursue his sexual fantasies.

And finally, have you considered therapy? Was there anything you learned? Any light shed on this matter or your feelings?

[Somewan]

There is a wide spectrum of sexuality from 100% straight to 100% gay, and your husband is somewhat in between, more towards the straight crowds. They are labeled as hetero flexible.

I was an Asian with a rather small penis so when i was a preop those who were attracted to me mostly due to my look and femininity although the penis is definitely a bonus to their "fetish".
Forbidden fruit is delicious, right

There's no difference in personality traits compared to the "normal" crowd. Some are very masculine and confident, few are shy and a little unsure.

For those tgirl admirers who like a big dicked girl, i assume they are more towards submissive since part of their fantasy is sucking or getting fucked by that big cock? Im not too sure.

But those crowds were not my clients.
They know i like to bend over lol
Anyway, don't worry too much. Most probably your husband is simply a hetero flexible and has a thirst for a tgirl at the moment.

Don't judge him by his sexuality but rather judge him by his heart and character. The fact he tells you his "secret" is a two thumbs up for me. Most men would be lying and do it anyway secretly.
i think he is a good, honest man.

Tia

ok, so I tend to agree. I think the lovers of a big dick want to be dominated. That is why I thought maybe a man who is not very assertive and insecure would enjoy a woman with a dick which is technically a symbol of masculinity. The fact that your clients left after post op, tells me that the central part of you that was their main attraction was your penis. That its really the penis, but it is surrounded by feminine parts. Which makes me wonder, is this behavior learnt as in watching porn and getting confused, or is there some inherent interest in the male sex?

He admitted because I made him swear on the life of our children. He has hidden this fetish for 16 years. I saw his history when we were dating and he brushed it off as just an interest because it was so exotic and popped up along with his usual choice of porn, but not something he was into.

I think its a mistake for people to watch too much porn. Ive noticed how I became desensitized but paradoxically I was always feeling sexually charged. This affects overall state of the mind. I didnt like loss of control and the need to get a jolt of satisfaction every day. I hate the feeling of a dependency.

I wonder if the men on this forum date pre op trans women. Are they interested in a long term relationship with a trans woman or do they feel its still a taboo if she is pre op? I understand post op, but many men here prefer pre op.

[Somewan]

Thanks for all of your answers. Just curious, did you get therapy? Mainly the ones that are into pre op women. Did you get a clear explanation of why a dick on a woman? And lets face it, trans women are still women with all artificial parts, except for their hair. There is nothing wrong with that, i understand their desires, but the men are in this strange world of illusion. They want them as women, but most of their parts used to be male, and the central part is the masculine organ which is essential in their attraction.

I am a very analytical person and likes to understand my feelings. So to me this is so confusing, moreover I simply cannot fully understand hypothetically, because I am not a man.

[yeroc006]

I absolutely love and adore women, their curves, their bodies and vaginas lol, and love to please and satisfy a woman. Who doesnt like getting a women wet?

Your husband probably is very attracted to you honey...

I was married for 23 years...never once did I ever refuse my wife sex.

I guess that is where a Tgirl comes in...and why I am not really attracted to men...kissing them is gross.

Its hard to explain...Its even hard to live with such feelings....its like your trapped in between worlds?

Maybe your husband has fantasies about being a women?

[Somewan]

I absolutely love and adore women, their curves, their bodies and vaginas lol, and love to please and satisfy a woman. Who doesnt like getting a women wet?

Your husband probably is very attracted to you honey...

I was married for 23 years...never once did I ever refuse my wife sex.

I guess that is where a Tgirl comes in...and why I am not really attracted to men...kissing them is gross.

Its hard to explain...Its even hard to live with such feelings....its like your trapped in between worlds?

Maybe your husband has fantasies about being a women?

Ok, so if you love it, how can you explain craving dick? Have you tried therapy to explore the dichotomy?

For instance.. I love male form, masculine and rugged, strong. If I saw a man take off his shirt and all parts of him are super masculine yet he starts playing with his vagina… it would be a major turn off. I love masculine form in a sexual way, and that to me is a penis along with other masculine features. I find female form to be beautiful, I love my own parts, I appreciate a beautiful female figure in art. But I cannot get aroused by it. So if someone is aroused to a defining feature of masculinity.. that to me signals something else. I will be seeing a therapist, to ask those questions, but I don’t think they can reflect much. There has to be a correlated long term study with a large control group to make any sort of conclusions. But such study is unlikely since its so taboo.

Are you turned on by your own dick? Do you like it a lot? Can you see yourself being a sexy woman?

[yeroc006]

I wish I had the answers....My life would be alot easier....Maybe I am a little "bi"...? I do know that porn and masturbation might reinforce those mental pathways....Thats why porn addiction can be so devastating.

I know it progessed over time and those "feelings" seemed to get stronger over time.

[ladyluv]

Gay

[shemaleprotector]

Lastly, our North American culture is unfortunately pretty homo and trans phobic...

Wanna see a “transphobic” culture? Go to Middle East or Africa

I yet have to see any of those WhateverPHOBICs in North America that you are talking about

[Luvs2BeTopped]

Thanks for all of your answers. Just curious, did you get therapy? Mainly the ones that are into pre op women. Did you get a clear explanation of why a dick on a woman? And lets face it, trans women are still women with all artificial parts, except for their hair. There is nothing wrong with that, i understand their desires, but the men are in this strange world of illusion. They want them as women, but most of their parts used to be male, and the central part is the masculine organ which is essential in their attraction.

I am a very analytical person and likes to understand my feelings. So to me this is so confusing, moreover I simply cannot fully understand hypothetically, because I am not a man.

Lmao nobody here needs therapy except you. It's perfectly normal to like dick. People are bisexual, gay or straight and not everyone is attracted to the same thing. Reading your recent replies I have a hard time believing you're even a woman, you sound like a guy, probably some guy with nothing better to do trolling the board. If you are a woman, you're such a closed-minded boring prude no wonder your husband is cheating on you 😂

[Luvs2BeTopped]

lol. welcome to tgirlforums.
Does it matter whether she is a real woman or not? i find this thread interesting.
Btw, just for the sake of education. Trans women are not fake with "full of artificial parts", some of us were born naturally beautiful and feminine.
But hey....this forums is the way to educate people right

By all means, feed the troll Tia. It's not very interesting to me. Everyone knows people have different sexual interests, what point is there in asking why some guys like dick? Then saying we need therapy lmao! It's just a waste of time.

[ladyluv]

Lmao nobody here needs therapy except you. It's perfectly normal to like dick. People are bisexual, gay or straight and not everyone is attracted to the same thing. Reading your recent replies I have a hard time believing you're even a woman, you sound like a guy, probably some guy with nothing better to do trolling the board. If you are a woman, you're such a closed-minded boring prude no wonder your husband is cheating on you 😂

It’s Tia with 2-3 accounts on here having a conversation with herself. It’s ridiculous.