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**Lani** · 05-15-2009, 11:35 PM

Get Out While You Can

Originally posted by PapaDartagnan View Post

I feel I need to explain myself a little bit before I make a comment and ask a question. Hopefully this will give people a little perspective. I separated from my wife about 18 months ago. I have 2 small children who are the best reason for living and I am happy that I see them alot each week and that the separation has been aimacable (?spelling?) Although there are many negatives to having a failed marriage, there are some positives. I now have opportunities that I would never have had if I was still married. One of those was to experience new things such as being with a Tgirl. As mentioned in other posts, I have had one experience but I feel there is more to experience. It has taken 6 months for me to get the "coglione" to try again. I searched around and found this forum and thought I could get plenty of information to help me feel more comfortable so that I can experience what I have desired to experience for some time.

I started my search and was absolutely floored by the number of beautiful tgirls that are on this site, and in all seriousness, floored by the intellect that is here too. Now being a professional male, father of 2, and if I may be so bold (since none of you know me) to say that I try to live my life with character. That's who I am. I am not better than anyone or less than anyone, it is just who I am. So, this sweet man wants to do things outside the norm of society, wants to try things he never thought he would.. I just want to feel alive again. I want to get WILD and Naughty! ! ! I want to be with a Tgirl again and I want to experience my all time fantasy.

But for all the beauty here, and for all the intellect, the pure venom I sense in too many of these threads has begun to sour my taste. I mean, I have only been on here for a few days, and so I have to ask this question.

Did I come here just at a bad time, or is this par for the course?

To me... and maybe only me, for the record...
I don't care who is the most beautiful.
I don't care who is the most popular.
I don't care who is considered a tgirl and who is considered a crossdresser.
I don't care who started it, I don't care if you are trying to end it.

All I care about, is that I meet people, who are more beautiful on the inside than they are on the outside. After all, and I know I am not in a position to make any statement about transgenders (so please politely correct me if I am wrong) but isn't that the biggest battle? Having people take you seriously and RESPECT you, for how you are in the inside rather than what you show on the outside? The harsh sarcasm, finger pointing and mud slinging... well, just begins to erode the respect each of you want and deserve.

I know I could get the ire of the management here, but I mean it, if you are weak of heart and pure of soul, get out now before you stain and/or soil your soul and yourself. I would probably say welcome to you like 2 years ago, because you sound so nice and gentle and expecting for your shemale glorious experiences, but I can tell you now you got chances of finding peace even at the 'abu grayib' prison in Guantanamo when it was still open, than in here, as you have found out people here are at each others throat every so often. Discussion is something, argument is something, but this is worse than hell I've ever seen.

And funny and scary thing is I'm getting used to it (and I am lamenting this, not celebrating) coz, this only means, I am now as hard as stone and becomes callous and devoid of any human dignity, but if you envied what has happened to me here, then welcome to this world. (though I'm warning you that only tough people survive here)

'OH FUCK! OH SHIT!' don't worry this doesn't mean anything, just my new signature.

**Foxy Basket** · 05-16-2009, 12:12 AM

Well said. . . and, as the current liaison for the Grammar Police, it's my sworn duty to inform you that the word is amicable.

I wish I could say that you simply wandered in at a bad time, but the truth is, the fighting is par for the course. There are a few notoriously abusive people who take their shots whenever they can get them. . . there are a few (myself included) who choose their battles, but sometimes step over that invisible line. . . there are many who fan the flames because they enjoy the drama. . . and there are others, such as yourself, who find these malicious displays to be downright revolting.

I wish I could tell you, "don't worry, these little spats always seem to blow over". . . but I'd be lying. It starts slowly, picks up steam, and sooner or later, someone goes too far. Admin throws down a temporary ban, things quiet down, the ban expires, and the clock starts ticking towards the next nuclear meltdown.

-

- ......... -

-

. . . and so on.

Peace [pees] noun: In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
- Ambrose Bearce

I've long suspected that most forumites actually enjoy the drama - both participants and observers. Dare I say it, but from a financial perspective, it's actually in the forum's best interests. More drama = more clicks = more revenue from ads. It's a fairly simple equation, and I feel foolish for playing into it, but I'm human, and sometimes my emotions get the better of me. Still, it never solves anything - it's just a waste of time and energy, and I have more important things to worry about.

Of course, it's not without its perks. . . the forum is a great promotional tool for girls such as myself. I use it to bring attention to my various activities, and interact with other people. I've made friends through the forum, found an outlet for my need to express myself creatively, and I've learned a lot (from certain participants, anyways). It's my own little soapbox whenever I want it to be, allowing me to pontificate when the mood strikes me.

Dammit, we need an emoticon with a little Pope hat! That would be sooooo cute!

As a source for reviews, drama and other things trans-related, it's a valuable resource, and worth enjoying. Just don't take it too seriously, and don't get caught in the firestorms. People will say just about anything online - only because they don't have to worry about getting their teeth knocked out. .........

Best of luck navigating your way through these stormy waters, but rest assured, there still are a few lights that shine through the darkness - especially the wonderful lady who posted just ahead of me (love ya, Lani!)

**Tia Phoenixx** · 05-16-2009, 12:24 AM

welcome on board

there PapaDartagnan..(o my..what a name..

)

Two nice ladies of the forum have welcomed you...and the third one just joined....

Welcome on board!

Don't worry about the fights...it usually happens only in Spring, during mating season..when the ladies are fighting to be become the alpha female....

Can we say that u r ex-terbites and new-forumites now..

?

Enjoy the info, avoid the fight...that's my advice

**capitus** · 05-16-2009, 12:25 AM

Nikki is right on the money. What you've experienced is 'par for the course'. So my advice is (if you think it is of any value) don't take it too seriously or personally and you will be alright. You have to consider this board in its context...part lifestyle board, part escort review board, part social networking board, part social activism board, etc. True to its chimeric nature, it can be rather unpredictable and can bite you if you're not careful. But if you're ready for it, strap in and enjoy the ride...it can be quite rewarding.

**Tasha Jones RIP** · 05-16-2009, 03:18 AM

More to it!

First welcome to the board. Now please reach down, grab those balls and cover them at all times.

There will always be some good post and some bad posts on any board you go to. The good thing about this board is you can take the time to do a search on all past post by any of us girls. This is how you can truly see what some of us girls are really like as people. Watch how we write and what we other write about or comment on.

You can not make a true judgment about a girl by one fight or post on here. We all have are good and bad days and we all have said things that maybe we might not have said if we thought about it first. Sometime angry gets the better of anyone and sometimes the other girls/guys know what to say to get us going.

As well, you guys need to understand that how a girl acts with you, is not how she will act towards anther girl. She has to put on a mask for you guys, you pay her bills so showing her true colors will hurt her money. This is also because we see right though that fake ?I am just a sweet little girl act? and we in a way get to see who she really is deep down with out that mask on. I can tell you, it is not always a good thing that we see them in that light because it shows when we post messages on the board. Sometimes when reading these topics you need to maybe think that there is more going on that you as clients have no clue about. It may not be a good motive for some of the attacks, but it is a reason.

But guess what, this is not only a Transsexual issue, this is an Internet thing with all people. The fact is, people get very big balls when they are behind a computer. There fingers work over time and they get the chance to say way more then they would if they were face to face. I mean how can you not, when your typing no one is interrupting you, you can go on and on and on...hey like me...

Anyways hope this helps
Tasha

**chantel** · 05-16-2009, 08:20 AM

I cant believe the crap all you haven given to this man,he is looking for someone with a wonderful personality,good intellect,beauty and shows maturity,srry but the fighting on here withever whom does not fit into his mold,although most are different in real life,there are many girls on here who do not engage in that behaviour at all. (only happens in spring,good days bad days,par for the course,wandered in at a bad time

) I do not usually say to much but lets be upfront with people, its a continuous habit on this site.. enjoy the weekend. chantel xox

**tslisaparadise** · 05-16-2009, 08:35 AM

Originally posted by chantel View Post

I cant believe the crap all you haven given to this man,he is looking for someone with a wonderful personality,good intellect,beauty and shows maturity,srry but the fighting on here withever whom does not fit into his mold,some it may,there are many girls on here who do not engage in that behaviour at all. (only happens in spring,good days bad days,par for the course,wandered in at a bad time

) I do not usually say to much but lets be upfront with people, its a continuous habit on this site.. enjoy the weekend. chantel xox

hmmm,so your saying because we pazrtake in a fight here and there were not good people lol think again i have the most wonderfull personalitty in here chicky and you know it

**chantel** · 05-16-2009, 08:41 AM

Hi lisa,no im not saying that,i think you are a wonderful person,barbie to and others i know,i just think the fights are more common than people make them out to be,i also feel that most people are better people in person than online,theres something about the internet that can bring out personalitys which are much different in real life. chantel xox

**Ray** · 05-16-2009, 09:12 AM

I have a question. Is it wise to pass up some wonderful experiences simply because there is cat fighting on this forum? I think NOT. Just find someone who you are attracted to, check out the reviews, ask a question if you want and get ready for an experience you will not soon forget.

**cobbler** · 05-16-2009, 09:21 AM

You can indeed learn plenty about the people who engage in the constant squabbling. I've used this knowledge to help me make my choices on which providers I might want to meet. Those who attack others with venom are not going on my short list. I doubt they care frankly, and that is fine with me.
Some of the men on here also like to stir the pot just to see the fur fly. This is not unlike the draw some feel to things like dog fighting. It is a form of cruelty even if it is done in such an inorganic setting as an anonymous chat room.
So, enjoy the forum for the positives and try to ignore the negatives. I think most of the people on here are looking for the same things I am, which is to learn more about this diverse community and to meet others who live it or share an attraction to it.

**toban** · 05-16-2009, 09:30 AM

Papa D, let me assure you that you are in the right place!

Originally posted by PapaDartagnan View Post

. . . . . . . One of those was to experience new things such as being with a Tgirl. As mentioned in other posts, I have had one experience but I feel there is more to experience. It has taken 6 months for me to get the "coglione" to try again. I searched around and found this forum and thought I could get plenty of information to help me feel more comfortable so that I can experience what I have desired to experience for some time.

Here is where you will find pretty much all of the information that you will need to enable you to fulfil all those experiences you desire to find!

I started my search and was absolutely floored by the number of beautiful tgirls that are on this site, and in all seriousness, floored by the intellect that is here too. . . . . . . . . I just want to feel alive again. I want to get WILD and Naughty! ! ! I want to be with a Tgirl again and I want to experience my all time fantasy.

With the exception of a very few of the girls here, yes you have come to the right place!

But for all the beauty here, and for all the intellect, the pure venom I sense in too many of these threads has begun to sour my taste. . . . . . To me... and maybe only me, for the record...
I don't care who is the most beautiful.
I don't care who is the most popular.
I don't care who is considered a tgirl and who is considered a crossdresser.
I don't care who started it, I don't care if you are trying to end it.

Papa D, there are scores of girls here who do not ever involve themselves in these fights, where such unkind things are written. The majority of the girls mind their own affairs and do not take part in such very child-like behaviour.

All I care about, is that I meet people, who are more beautiful on the inside than they are on the outside. After all, and I know I am not in a position to make any statement about transgenders (so please politely correct me if I am wrong) but isn't that the biggest battle? Having people take you seriously and RESPECT you, for how you are in the inside rather than what you show on the outside? The harsh sarcasm, finger pointing and mud slinging... well, just begins to erode the respect each of you want and deserve.

I have met a good many of these girls myself, the majority of whom I am sure, you will find to be the kind of girls you seek to meet here. Occasionally there may be a dispute amongst some, but they do not normally deteriorate to the level you find undesirable.

As you may have noticed from my own post in the thread you write about, I too am very disturbed, no, I am totally disgusted by this current fiasco, but I urge you to move on towards your goal. Do not let the few obscure your view of the majority.

You will meet those girls here! This is the place!

You must read carefully and search out the girls that will satisfy your needs.

.

**PapaDartagnan** · 05-16-2009, 03:54 PM

Thank you all very much for your varying point of views. This is the healthy discussion I am looking for. I tend too write too much, so I won't go into a point by point communication of what I took from each post. I will however, elaborate on why I had soured.

The relationship between provider and client is a very simple thing... most times. I understand what I am getting myself into for that period of time and understand that outside of that time, reality sets in. Unfortunately, I have difficulty with my brain (it thinks waaaay too much) in separating knowledge. I understand that the provider during our time, for lack of a better word) is "performing." As someone mentioned, they have the mask on. I am kewl with that. However, the people who frequently make these venomous posts, make it difficult if not impossible, to hide behind that mask. It makes them less beautiful and therefore, makes for a negative experience.

I am not rich or well off and I am not able to experience things as frequently as I wish too. It is very important for me to therefore try to get a positive experience each time. It is really dissappointing (sometimes depressing) to spend -I won't say alot, but a decent amount of- money and not get the experience I wanted.

However, there are positives here too. This forum does display the ugly, but also some beauty. And since I can't separate the negative knowledge, I also can't separate the positive ones. Therefore, seeing these posts, seeing some people without their masks, also can help in establishing a connection or a chemistry. This re-enforces "the mask" makes it stronger and more real and in essence, greatly enhances that "period of time" as a client. That is what I am looking for, and I think I just might find it here too.

Thank you again, for all your comments, now who wants to f***

... just kidding!

Yes, I can get gutteral myself when the mood strikes and no, I don't take myself too seriously.

**sensual_lover20** · 05-16-2009, 08:42 PM

To think an anonymous chat room is representative of someone's person is insane. I for one have seen or met almost all the t-girls in Toronto (many which do not work as escorts too) and know that the bark is worse than their bite. You think half the stuff Lucy or Lisa says (which is not directed you) would actually be how she would talk to you in person? Get real. If you want to see the world get off your ass and meet some. The forum is just a entertaining reading tool. After meeting these girls I have come to find so many with a sweet heart and gentle personality. Admittedly some are dumb as nails, but not everyone can be a winner. Trying to understand the community from here is a joke. When you take a few out for dinner, movie, shopping or club, then well start talking. Not that I am a guru but I have been around this community for quite a while now and in some depth. I am not the most experienced on commenting on which escort for you to see, but when it comes to a one on one talk over something other than sex I can relay some good information. So live a little and get out to enjoy life.

**kristopin** · 05-16-2009, 08:55 PM

truth

welcome.
truth is that all you see hear has some facts behind it and some reasons. if we live and let live then we have to accept it is not all going to wonderful. i have put enough nasty stuff in here that i regret 100%. its not me usually just my emotions going overboard. i have lost friends over it.

there are so many threads and posts that have all kinds of very useful, well thought out information. you can find info on safe sex, transition, SRS, and so much more.

it is place we can experience.

we are a glorious bunch of coconuts. enjoy.

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