friendship?

[kristopin]

ok so i am going to toss this one out there. perhaps it will help me with my own definition of freindship ands top me screwing them up.

this is also going to be my last thread for awhile. its time for a long break and i plan to play in a different sandbox. i will still look at other threads and may post now and then.

so how does one define friendship.

is it like the show friends?

is a really good close friend someone you can trust and talk to about all the stuff in your life?

is a casual friend someone you meet and if you happen to bump into them you both just say hi how it going, flippant and not really caring about the answer?
or is that just an acquaintance?

is it someone you have never met in person but only on the net?

HOW do YOU define this?

please offer your own definitions.


cheers all keep well.

[tglove]

close friendship is love without sex

[tslisaparadise]

ok so i am going to toss this one out there. Perhaps it will help me with my own definition of freindship ands top me screwing them up.

This is also going to be my last thread for awhile. Its time for a long break and i plan to play in a different sandbox. I will still look at other threads and may post now and then.

So how does one define friendship.

Is it like the show friends?

Is a really good close friend someone you can trust and talk to about all the stuff in your life?

Is a casual friend someone you meet and if you happen to bump into them you both just say hi how it going, flippant and not really caring about the answer?
Or is that just an acquaintance?

Is it someone you have never met in person but only on the net?

How do you define this?

Please offer your own definitions.


Cheers all keep well.

friends? I didnt think ya had any lol

[kristopin]

there are a few from my old days

friends? I didnt think ya had any lol

haha i dont but there a couple of people i knew in my old life. one was a retired police officer that now works as a PI and he loves his work. I have used his professional services a few times.

[kristopin]

my reality

the main reason for this thread is for me to try to gather information on friendships and how to keep them.

from when ever i can remember i have not done well with getting and keeping friends. i used to think there was something wrong with my emotions or something but i never related to other people. as a teen i had one freind and we did all the hanging out together and stuff but in the end i told him to f..k off as he had insulted my mother. in college i had one very good friend. i loved him like a brother but even that faded in time. i always felt out of place. its like going to watch a hockey game and you are the only one with the wrong sweater. part of the crowd but seperate.

when i found the trans community i felt i had the right sweater on, still a rookie sitting on the pines but part of a team.

i hope in my future to be able to know how to have friends and deal with them in a proper fashion. hence this thread. yep i wear my emotions on my sleeve and they are there for all to see. i cant change that part of my personallity. it is so much part of what i am now.

so any comments would be nice to hear.

[cobbler]

A wise old woman said to me soon before she died, that a friend was someone who got her particular jokes.
As I see it, the basis of friendship is humour.
If you can share a laugh you have the beginnings of a friendship.
Intimate and loving friendships develop from that initial connection.
It's like sex,
sort of.

[tslisaparadise]

the main reason for this thread is for me to try to gather information on friendships and how to keep them.

from when ever i can remember i have not done well with getting and keeping friends. i used to think there was something wrong with my emotions or something but i never related to other people. as a teen i had one freind and we did all the hanging out together and stuff but in the end i told him to f..k off as he had insulted my mother. in college i had one very good friend. i loved him like a brother but even that faded in time. i always felt out of place. its like going to watch a hockey game and you are the only one with the wrong sweater. part of the crowd but seperate.

when i found the trans community i felt i had the right sweater on, still a rookie sitting on the pines but part of a team.

i hope in my future to be able to know how to have friends and deal with them in a proper fashion. hence this thread. yep i wear my emotions on my sleeve and they are there for all to see. i cant change that part of my personallity. it is so much part of what i am now.

so any comments would be nice to hear.

aha , so i was right lol

[ShaunaWilliams]

I agree with cobbler. My friends need to be able to make me laugh, and it seems for me to keep them interested, I have to be able to make them laugh too. Humor is the greatest thing that can boost an acquaintance into a friendship because if that person loves to be around you (cause who doesn't love to laugh?) they will want you to be their friend forever.

Also, I've heard a theory that the reason we have friends is because there are qualities in other people that we respect. Each of your friends represents something that you want to acquire. Maybe one of your friends is really good at soccer and you respect that, you wish you were good at soccer. That's why you keep that friend around, so that you can practice with him and get better and acquire that skill from him. Or maybe you love the way one of your friends speaks and commands the attention of a crowd. You'll study the way she speaks when you're with her and try to mimic it, or create your own style based on hers.

Friends are there to help and to care, they're there to laugh and play. Just don't cross the border between friend and boyfriend/girlfriend if you want to keep that friend (if things don't work out).

[tslisaparadise]

I agree with cobbler. My friends need to be able to make me laugh, and it seems for me to keep them interested, I have to be able to make them laugh too. Humor is the greatest thing that can boost an acquaintance into a friendship because if that person loves to be around you (cause who doesn't love to laugh?) they will want you to be their friend forever.

Also, I've heard a theory that the reason we have friends is because there are qualities in other people that we respect. Each of your friends represents something that you want to acquire. Maybe one of your friends is really good at soccer and you respect that, you wish you were good at soccer. That's why you keep that friend around, so that you can practice with him and get better and acquire that skill from him. Or maybe you love the way one of your friends speaks and commands the attention of a crowd. You'll study the way she speaks when you're with her and try to mimic it, or create your own style based on hers.

Friends are there to help and to care, they're there to laugh and play. Just don't cross the border between friend and boyfriend/girlfriend if you want to keep that friend (if things don't work out).

hmmmm,i have no friends and i did a search on ebay and came up empty

[DoorGunner]

from when ever i can remember i have not done well with getting and keeping friends.

Hey there, im new here and just stumbled across this forum recently, but saw this thread and kind of related to most of what you said.

Quick Cliffs Notes on me, grew up a military brat moving all over the world. Had 13 different addresses before i was 16. 18 joined the military, got out at 22, got a job in Biloxi MS, got wiped out by Hurricane Katrina, then immediatly got Recalled by the army for another deployment. Then i got out after that and got a traveling job that had me gone from home 3 weeks out of each month. Loved it but hated not having any social network. And then in feb i got recalled again, and here i sit on yet another deployment to Iraq.

Anyway, due to living such a hectic life bouncing all over the place, I've always felt like it was impossible to keep friends. Sometimes i thought it was because of how often I moved, but now with the internet, there's no excuse for not staying in contact with people.

Like you said, "Finally found your sweater", I've found, especially as I've matured more as an adult, that the best friends, (and only lasting friends) are the ones I was always able to be totally honest with. There's always been that thing for me in the back of my mind, that interest in the Trans community, that has made me feel like an outcast, and un-relateable. Lets face it, A job in the military is not exactly the easiest place to find someone to confide in about things. But there have been a few people, here and there, that have accepted me for who i was, and I felt comfortable enough to share the more deeper things of who i am. Honestly only three, and one burned me pretty badly. But there is risk in everything, at least from my perspective.

But I said all that to inject my opinion. Friendship comes from honesty. And that takes trial and error in some circumstances. But your not alone in your feelings.

[milkandhoney]

Hey there, im new here and just stumbled across this forum recently, but saw this thread and kind of related to most of what you said.

Quick Cliffs Notes on me, grew up a military brat moving all over the world. Had 13 different addresses before i was 16. 18 joined the military, got out at 22, got a job in Biloxi MS, got wiped out by Hurricane Katrina, then immediatly got Recalled by the army for another deployment. Then i got out after that and got a traveling job that had me gone from home 3 weeks out of each month. Loved it but hated not having any social network. And then in feb i got recalled again, and here i sit on yet another deployment to Iraq.

Anyway, due to living such a hectic life bouncing all over the place, I've always felt like it was impossible to keep friends. Sometimes i thought it was because of how often I moved, but now with the internet, there's no excuse for not staying in contact with people.

Like you said, "Finally found your sweater", I've found, especially as I've matured more as an adult, that the best friends, (and only lasting friends) are the ones I was always able to be totally honest with. There's always been that thing for me in the back of my mind, that interest in the Trans community, that has made me feel like an outcast, and un-relateable. Lets face it, A job in the military is not exactly the easiest place to find someone to confide in about things. But there have been a few people, here and there, that have accepted me for who i was, and I felt comfortable enough to share the more deeper things of who i am. Honestly only three, and one burned me pretty badly. But there is risk in everything, at least from my perspective.

But I said all that to inject my opinion. Friendship comes from honesty. And that takes trial and error in some circumstances. But your not alone in your feelings.

excellent post! thanks for sharing that, and welcome. i find it kind of mind-blowing that you wrote it in Iraq. when are you due to come home?

[DoorGunner]

excellent post! thanks for sharing that, and welcome. i find it kind of mind-blowing that you wrote it in Iraq. when are you due to come home?

I am here through the end of the year. We havent been given an official 'come home' date yet. just some time in early january. I will however get to come home around Halloween for two weeks leave. looking forward to that and doing some window shopping on this website lol.

[kristopin]

please keep safe

Hey there, im new here and just stumbled across this forum recently, but saw this thread and kind of related to most of what you said.

Quick Cliffs Notes on me, grew up a military brat moving all over the world. Had 13 different addresses before i was 16. 18 joined the military, got out at 22, got a job in Biloxi MS, got wiped out by Hurricane Katrina, then immediatly got Recalled by the army for another deployment. Then i got out after that and got a traveling job that had me gone from home 3 weeks out of each month. Loved it but hated not having any social network. And then in feb i got recalled again, and here i sit on yet another deployment to Iraq.

Anyway, due to living such a hectic life bouncing all over the place, I've always felt like it was impossible to keep friends. Sometimes i thought it was because of how often I moved, but now with the internet, there's no excuse for not staying in contact with people.

Like you said, "Finally found your sweater", I've found, especially as I've matured more as an adult, that the best friends, (and only lasting friends) are the ones I was always able to be totally honest with. There's always been that thing for me in the back of my mind, that interest in the Trans community, that has made me feel like an outcast, and un-relateable. Lets face it, A job in the military is not exactly the easiest place to find someone to confide in about things. But there have been a few people, here and there, that have accepted me for who i was, and I felt comfortable enough to share the more deeper things of who i am. Honestly only three, and one burned me pretty badly. But there is risk in everything, at least from my perspective.

But I said all that to inject my opinion. Friendship comes from honesty. And that takes trial and error in some circumstances. But your not alone in your feelings.

thanks for you post and honesty. i really try to be open and honest and i think sometimes a bit too open and honest. it has led to people taking advantage of me and i have put a stop to that.

but please be careful and come back home safe and sound. you are an incredibly brave person to be where you are and to write to this forum.
i am not a religious person but i am very spiritual and so in all honesty then i will say a prayer to all the gods that we humans have and ask for your safe return.

thanks again for your reply.

[greep]

ok so i am going to toss this one out there. perhaps it will help me with my own definition of freindship ands top me screwing them up.

this is also going to be my last thread for awhile. its time for a long break and i plan to play in a different sandbox. i will still look at other threads and may post now and then.

so how does one define friendship.

is it like the show friends?

is a really good close friend someone you can trust and talk to about all the stuff in your life?

is a casual friend someone you meet and if you happen to bump into them you both just say hi how it going, flippant and not really caring about the answer?
or is that just an acquaintance?

is it someone you have never met in person but only on the net?

HOW do YOU define this?

please offer your own definitions.


cheers all keep well.

in the TG community, friend is usually a four letter word.

[kristopin]

why?

in the TG community, friend is a four letter word.

i hope this was a form of humour which belongs on the humour thread not here.

you do seem to have no idea what is the correct thing to say. i am trying to be patinet with you, as was nikki in another post, but i am for one running out of patience.

how dare you put this crap on this thread. when a soldier from Irag can even understand WTF is going on. maybe Alyssa was right.

try to learn to post with some mode of respect for other people.

THIS WAS NOT FUNNY. IT WAS DEGRADING TO THE WHOLD TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY. SO EITHER SHOW SOME RESPECT OR STAY THE FUCK OFF MY THREADS. ADMIN IM GETTING PISSED AT THIS SHIT.