Shemaleyum has a webcammy thingy now!

[Tonia Lee]

Hi. How is everybody?
Why does everybody look worried and concerned every time I walk in a room?

Ok, so.... I got a letter from Shemaleyum and it was a notice to applicants regarding a new program they have. It's kinda like the camwhore site direct to this forum, maybe kinda like Livejasmin? I dunno.

The one guy had contacted me about doing a shoot in VA but that would involve a plane ticket and starvation for a month. Kinda sucks I'm stuck in the Pitt with no way out. Ever.

I wanted to do the cam thing for some time because if I can do it, maybe make a fast ten bucks or something I could buy food. If I can eat, I can camwhore even better because I'm alive. Before I know it, I could earn enough money to do something better than cam-sex!
Maybe.

Well, I'm gonna give it a go but here's mah deal.

>I look awful. You've seen me, you know. I can't go to a chop shop and pimp my tits or have FFS. So, that leaves me helpless broken and unable to function as a human being. The good news is, I have HORMONES. Thought about ways to look better and feel better with just plain ol' titty skittles and whatever the fuck else I need to do. What are some suggestions to look sexy?
(Besides jump in traffic, Horizon)

>Anybody else give this a whilry? Can I get a hoot-hoot from a camwhore?
>ID problems. It seems that my ID conflicts with my M status. Like a cop would say, "Mam, can I see your ID?"... and I just know I'm leaving in cuffs for a stolen car. Ok, maybe not but I need to get proper ID or a passport. Does being on hormones allow for female status or is it not until SRS?
>I'm old. I mean, not ancient dinosaur old just not.... young.
Did I expire? So I have some shelf life that I should be aware of?
>How about some pro-tips on how to be sexy rather than a dork?

Ok, Thanks.

[Horizon1]

Jump in tr-

I got nothing.

[Einstein]

Think of it this way...you are way hotter then Paula Poundstone
Sarah Jessica Parker,Anne Coulter,Nancy Grace & Kate Gosselin.

[Meagan Nutwood]

At least you look like a female. If i saw some more pictures of you I may be able to help you out a bit

[tslisaparadise]

Think of it this way...you are way hotter then Paula Poundstone
Sarah Jessica Parker,Anne Coulter,Nancy Grace & Kate Gosselin.

huh lol picture nancy grace in a black shiny latex dominatrix outfit with a bull whip hmmmmmmmmmm not that could be fun

[Tonia Lee]

Maybe I dunno?

I have been told so many times I look like Jodie Foster in the brave one.

[Rockheart]

It used to be the producers for shemaleyum travelled around more.
However I do not remember any of us going to Pittsburgh.

Other than Canada I have shot in Detroit, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, Seattle, Baton Rouge.

I don't travel as much anymore either, mostly just in Canada recently.
(Partly due to hassles from customs)

but there is other places to do shoots for yum other than VA.
However u are right it is not worth the trip for the guarantee of only one shoot.

[Tonia Lee]

It used to be the producers for shemaleyum travelled around more.
However I do not remember any of us going to Pittsburgh.

Other than Canada I have shot in Detroit, Grand Rapids, Minneapolis, New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, Seattle, Baton Rouge.

I don't travel as much anymore either, mostly just in Canada recently.
(Partly due to hassles from customs)

but there is other places to do shoots for yum other than VA.
However u are right it is not worth the trip for the guarantee of only one shoot.

No, no, I want more than anything to get out to VA. It's worth it if I can. That's the problem. Some of us are just poor. My face gets nuked real soon and that kind of hair removal is at least a hundred bucks. Sucks, dude.
I really am trying. If anything... I try. The cam thing would be cool because if I can do that and make some side money, I could get the plane ticket.
It's so bad that my mother is buying my transdermal this month and it's only 35$ on inhousepharmacy. I skipped my doc the other day.... that's not good.

[Tonia Lee]

The most epic BAWWWW ever.

It gets worse.
Look, I'm gonna bawwww so everybody put your hands over your ears.
Unable to pay for anything other than my backed up rent and my now legal obligations to them, I just saw that I am 300$ backed up on my bills.
My loved ones are going to help me get back on my feet but I have to make serious life choice here. I can't stay here, no way. Not with the cost of gas like it is. I can consolidate all of this in one shot but it will kill me doing it. I'll fork over like everything I got.
I feel pressure from this, I feel pressure being trans, I feel the pressure of my work and loved ones...
No romantic life, no man to help me through.
No way out but to beg the support of my family.
All of this because I was fired for going on hormones. That really fucked me over bad. Nothing I could do about it, ya know.
I'm eating like anything I can get. I brag about being at 115lbs but the truth is, I am at that mark because of not having a proper diet. I'm rail thin now.
My hormones just took a chunk o' cash from me the other day but, so help me God, I will turn tricks for my hormones. Fuck food and water, I need HRT.
I have this like unreal desire. Just want to do this stuff I see everyday so bad and I ended up battering myself emotionally, suffering from GD and developing a confidence fault line.
It's just that here, in this world that I live in, I have always been alone. I read a post on another forum posted by a trans girl a few years older than me. Her statement was public and very specific.
"Every guy should pay a transsexual for sex".
She goes on to explain this shit and I'm thinking, "Wow.... your fucking hopeless. You lost all ability to love and turned into a hooker."
Now, I can't help but feel something REALLY rings true about this address.
I have NEVER had a good guy. Its always sex, nothing else, ever.
I made the fucking mistake of trust. If you have made this mistake, do not do it. Do not trust in anybody for any reason. I felt that my x boyfriend was "different". He holds my hand and kisses my lips. Oh, well, he must fucking love me huh?"
I was so fucking stupid. He was railing all these chicks and wanted a trap to fuck for LOLS or some fetish or some FUCKED UP REASON.
So, I date again. Here I see the other side of the real world. The cheating husbands, the fetishists, the escorts and all that.
I did in fact abandon love. What choice did I have? Present to me life, I present to you my resolve. Such is my obligation to my life.
I had posted and talked about our suicide rate and some rather dark aspects of life. Well, our life. Nobody talks about this shit. Even like on a chan board. It's always surface level, what you can and can not present to the public based on fear...maybe image.... doubts... I dunno.
Underneath all of it, you have a struggle. You have the women that are being hurt in some way. Maybe they fall victim to a crime such as myself, on and off hormones, forced into porn... I think I've see it all.
My life has been on this ice since I began my sex change. I have hopes of stealth. Hopes of credibility maybe. A life that demands of me but rewards me and allows me to win over this battle of gender.
I'm fortunate to have hormones, a mother... my kitten.
What I see here is the life that I want. Each girl here represents something that I deeply respect and envy. I wonder if that means anything?
Fuck, I can't do shit.
I can't get the fuck out of here, I have no options.
And to make matters worse, I have to make some choices. How the FUCK do I make a choice when I have nothing to show for myself or use? Christ.
All this time the victim of a sex crime.
A victim of poverty.
Victim of a system here that does NOTHING to help you.

And fucking trans, dude.

Somehow I will get what I want. I will be a model and will be pretty. There is a really pretty and sweet girl inside of this shell.
I refuse to hide, I wont be talking shit about myself, calling myself ugly. That isn't helping,
Here I post how can I look my best when what I really wrote was...
"How can I be you?"
If I was such a horrid creature than why do I have these messages in my inbox?
Ok, I'm done.

[Horizon1]

It gets worse.
Look, I'm gonna bawwww so everybody put your hands over your ears.
Unable to pay for anything other than my backed up rent and my now legal obligations to them, I just saw that I am 300$ backed up on my bills.
My loved ones are going to help me get back on my feet but I have to make serious life choice here. I can't stay here, no way. Not with the cost of gas like it is. I can consolidate all of this in one shot but it will kill me doing it. I'll fork over like everything I got.
I feel pressure from this, I feel pressure being trans, I feel the pressure of my work and loved ones...
No romantic life, no man to help me through.
No way out but to beg the support of my family.
All of this because I was fired for going on hormones. That really fucked me over bad. Nothing I could do about it, ya know.
I'm eating like anything I can get. I brag about being at 115lbs but the truth is, I am at that mark because of not having a proper diet. I'm rail thin now.
My hormones just took a chunk o' cash from me the other day but, so help me God, I will turn tricks for my hormones. Fuck food and water, I need HRT.
I have this like unreal desire. Just want to do this stuff I see everyday so bad and I ended up battering myself emotionally, suffering from GD and developing a confidence fault line.
It's just that here, in this world that I live in, I have always been alone. I read a post on another forum posted by a trans girl a few years older than me. Her statement was public and very specific.
"Every guy should pay a transsexual for sex".
She goes on to explain this shit and I'm thinking, "Wow.... your fucking hopeless. You lost all ability to love and turned into a hooker."
Now, I can't help but feel something REALLY rings true about this address.
I have NEVER had a good guy. Its always sex, nothing else, ever.
I made the fucking mistake of trust. If you have made this mistake, do not do it. Do not trust in anybody for any reason. I felt that my x boyfriend was "different". He holds my hand and kisses my lips. Oh, well, he must fucking love me huh?"
I was so fucking stupid. He was railing all these chicks and wanted a trap to fuck for LOLS or some fetish or some FUCKED UP REASON.
So, I date again. Here I see the other side of the real world. The cheating husbands, the fetishists, the escorts and all that.
I did in fact abandon love. What choice did I have? Present to me life, I present to you my resolve. Such is my obligation to my life.
I had posted and talked about our suicide rate and some rather dark aspects of life. Well, our life. Nobody talks about this shit. Even like on a chan board. It's always surface level, what you can and can not present to the public based on fear...maybe image.... doubts... I dunno.
Underneath all of it, you have a struggle. You have the women that are being hurt in some way. Maybe they fall victim to a crime such as myself, on and off hormones, forced into porn... I think I've see it all.
My life has been on this ice since I began my sex change. I have hopes of stealth. Hopes of credibility maybe. A life that demands of me but rewards me and allows me to win over this battle of gender.
I'm fortunate to have hormones, a mother... my kitten.
What I see here is the life that I want. Each girl here represents something that I deeply respect and envy. I wonder if that means anything?
Fuck, I can't do shit.
I can't get the fuck out of here, I have no options.
And to make matters worse, I have to make some choices. How the FUCK do I make a choice when I have nothing to show for myself or use? Christ.
All this time the victim of a sex crime.
A victim of poverty.
Victim of a system here that does NOTHING to help you.

And fucking trans, dude.

Somehow I will get what I want. I will be a model and will be pretty. There is a really pretty and sweet girl inside of this shell.
I refuse to hide, I wont be talking shit about myself, calling myself ugly. That isn't helping,
Here I post how can I look my best when what I really wrote was...
"How can I be you?"
If I was such a horrid creature than why do I have these messages in my inbox?
Ok, I'm done.

You are choosing paying for internet over eating.

Get your priorities right

[Tonia Lee]

You are choosing paying for internet over eating.

Get your priorities right

No, I'm choosing HRT over food.
It was losing my job when I began hormones that out me in such a terrible hole.
I don't have very much and being trans makes that isolation even worse.
The net helps me develop as a person. It helps to connect with others like me.
Did you know they have a TG crisis site with a chat rooom? It's a crisis/suicide page and the chat is 24 hours. I think the 50$ is worth my life should I ever need it and so many times I have been in crisis/non-threatening.
As soon as I can recover financially, I will be fine.
Until then, I am sleeping four hours a day if that and eating one meal a day.

But, thank you for your concern.

[Rockheart]

No, no, I want more than anything to get out to VA. It's worth it if I can. That's the problem. Some of us are just poor. My face gets nuked real soon and that kind of hair removal is at least a hundred bucks. Sucks, dude.
I really am trying. If anything... I try. The cam thing would be cool because if I can do that and make some side money, I could get the plane ticket.
It's so bad that my mother is buying my transdermal this month and it's only 35$ on inhousepharmacy. I skipped my doc the other day.... that's not good.

I was just saying there was several places you could go to do a shoot for grooby, not just VA.

However I did forget airfare is much cheaper in the US than in Canada due to lack of competitiona and low population density.
In Canada if u had to fly anywhere for a shoot, you would probably lose money.

[Tonia Lee]

I was just saying there was several places you could go to do a shoot for grooby, not just VA.

However I did forget airfare is much cheaper in the US than in Canada due to lack of competitiona and low population density.
In Canada if u had to fly anywhere for a shoot, you would probably lose money.

I'm just kind of exited to see this new program they running. I bet it will be very popular. I wonder if the Shemaleyum "All Stars" will do it...
Bailey Jay live on cam... hmmmm
I would like to just "get the fuck out" of PA for a bit. Fuck the money.

[alhena]

If one considers the scenario where such were a person's only method of reaching out to the people they trust for support, one can begin to understand how they themselves might tighen their own belts faced with a similar situation; resigning oneself to consume less in exchange for the kinship of a kindred spirit provided via an internet connection. The isolation is more terrible than the hunger until the hunger becomes too great and asserts its place as the most terrible of feelings.

[Tonia Lee]

If one considers the scenario where such were a person's only method of reaching out to the people they trust for support, one can begin to understand how they themselves might tighen their own belts faced with a similar situation; resigning oneself to consume less in exchange for the kinship of a kindred spirit provided via an internet connection. The isolation is more terrible than the hunger until the hunger becomes too great and asserts its place as the most terrible of feelings.

Not many could.
I need my community. Not really this but just my friends and those that rely on me for support.
What do you think, Alhena? Think we will get to see Ms. Jay on live cam feed?!