WTF? What's with the Jehovah's these days!

So what the fuck..

I've told them I'm not interested about 20 times..

Today they show up at my freaking door again just as a client is leaving..

I'm gonna fucking complain I think..

Maybe I should just be super fucking uber bitchy rude next time..

I swear they keep coming back cuz they're curious and interested.. LOL

[Rockheart]

So what the fuck..

I've told them I'm not interested about 20 times..

Today they show up at my freaking door again just as a client is leaving..

I'm gonna fucking complain I think..

Maybe I should just be super fucking uber bitchy rude next time..

I swear they keep coming back cuz they're curious and interested.. LOL

One time they came to my house and asked me If I wanted to know more about my life with God.

I said yes, that I had one very important question for them to answer for me. (This got them a little excited)

I said, "So God created the heavens and earth right?"
Yes, they replied.

So I replied, "If this is all true, I need you to tell me who created God because I find this to be the most puzzling thing".
They gave me a funny look and replied that this was not something they wished to discuss, but would like to discuss how I can accept God.

I said, "If they cannot answer this question, I can never fully accept God and if they are not prepared to discuss this issue with me then I have nothing more to say to them"

After that they bypassed my house.

So I would suggest hounding them about who created God.

[maddplotter]

One time they came to my house and asked me If I wanted to know more about my life with God.

I said yes, that I had one very important question for them to answer for me. (This got them a little excited)

I said, "So God created the heavens and earth right?"
Yes, they replied.

So I replied, "If this is all true, I need you to tell me who created God because I find this to be the most puzzling thing".
They gave me a funny look and replied that this was not something they wished to discuss, but would like to discuss how I can accept God.

I said, "If they cannot answer this question, I can never fully accept God and if they are not prepared to discuss this issue with me then I have nothing more to say to them"

After that they bypassed my house.

So I would suggest hounding them about who created God.

Maybe the Flying Spaghetti Monster created God?

[cooldude]

Is there no number you can call to stop them from coming to your house? The govt should do something and also for those damn water heater guys. But I must admit that the last Jehovahs to come to my house were 2 hot chicks. I didn't mind talking to them!!!

[Guest]

Varmints!

Hi,

Those varmints!

• Scare them away with some sort of witchcraft emblem and put it in your front door window.
• Buy a Satanic Bible and try to convert THEM when they show up.
• When they come to the door, ACT NUTS!
• When they just arrive, act like you've been expecting them and then tell them that you were just in the middle of black magic incantation and had been asking Satan for a sign. Did i say, act nuts?
• Buy one of their frikken Bibles (cheap) and keep it, hanging it on your door window. When they come by, they see it and know you are "saved". Or keep it near the door and tell them you "ALREADY have one, thank you". I bought one and did this myself. They never came back.

Babe,
xoxo

[Rockheart]

Maybe the Flying Spaghetti Monster created God?

Yes that would be a good idea to propose to them.

Wanting to disuss whether God may be a shemale may also throw them off their game.

Generally being a crazy malcontent seems to work.

Also say you gave at the office.

[danilover]

I had both Jehovah's Witnesses come and the damn water heater guys.

For the Jehovah's I opened the door and said "see ya". I always wanted to open the door naked !!!

[overhere]

This clip from Orgazmo says it all. Mormons, Jehovahs they are all a bunch of soul soliciting pig fuckers.

[toban]

Another good method

Is there no number you can call to stop them from coming to your house? The govt should do something and also for those damn water heater guys. But I must admit that the last Jehovahs to come to my house were 2 hot chicks. I didn't mind talking to them!!!

I worked for a time with a fellow who solved this problem in a very similar way.

What he saw when he answered the door was what appeared to be a mother/daughter team. The younger girl was a fine looking teen. The older lady asked if they could come in.

His reply, pointing to young girl was,

"Sure she can come in but you stay outside"!

[cobbler]

Tell them you don't have much time as you have an appointment to give blood. This drives them crazy. It's worked for me many times.

[tonguetw1ster]

In all honesty, I don't see them at all any more. Maybe I live in a forsaken neighbourhood, lol. But when they did come around, the tactic that worked best for me was a detailed variation on Babe's "act nuts" method. I used an adaptation of a bit from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy: The 'Babel Fish" argument proving the non-existence of God.

I would interrupt their opening spiel by saying that God doesn't exist, and that I can prove it. That always piqued their interest and they wanted to hear more. I would follow up with something like this:

"OK. God says: 'I refuse to prove that I exist, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.' But the two of you are a dead giveaway. No one as obtuse, oblivious and irritating as you could have evolved by chance. You prove God exists, and therefore, by his own arguments, he doesn't. QED."

This always elicits silence and blank stares, usually followed by a hasty retreat. It scores a number of hits: You confuse them, insult them, implicate them in your twisted but logical proof that their deity doesn't exist, and you make them wonder if you aren't just a bit crazy, or maybe a lot. Not to mention paying homage to a great author who I'm sure would have grinned with delight knowing who you're tormenting with his words.

[Guest]

tell them you don't have much time as you have an appointment to give blood. This drives them crazy. It's worked for me many times.

lol!!!

[merelypink]

they freak me out!!!!!!

[Guest]

classic.

What a tonguetw1ster.

I would interrupt their opening spiel by saying that God doesn't exist, and that I can prove it. That always piqued their interest and they wanted to hear more. I would follow up with something like this:

"OK. God says: 'I refuse to prove that I exist, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.' But the two of you are a dead giveaway. No one as obtuse, oblivious and irritating as you could have evolved by chance. You prove God exists, and therefore, by his own arguments, he doesn't. QED."

You confuse them, insult them, implicate them in your twisted but logical proof that their deity doesn't exist, and you make them wonder if you aren't just a bit crazy, or maybe a lot. Not to mention paying homage to a great author who I'm sure would have grinned with delight knowing who you're tormenting with his words.

Sounds good.
Babe,
xoxo

[dom r]

Tell them you don't have much time as you have an appointment to give blood. This drives them crazy. It's worked for me many times.

The thing about jehovah witnesses and all religious people is that they firmly believe that marriage must be between a man and a woman and that they must only engage in intercourse. So if all women obeyed the bible and only had intercourse, they will never be able to get off because women dont orgasm by intercourse due to their clit being on the outside and not the inside.

And if god is so against anal sex, then why did he make the cock to fit in the butt knowing that aids will spread? Did god intend for males to die for females? I mean just take a look at all the animal species, its always the male that is used as a sacrifice. Men turn against each other and engage in wars and the female spider is bigger than the male and eats him after they mate. Is god a cock hater or what? All these pointers tend to indicate god wants the female kind to eventually seperate from males 500 years from now, thats is the opposite as what the bible preaches as the bible says both men and women shall inherit the earth but this will not happen. Ok i just looked ahead in time in 500 years so i hope i didnt confuse anyone.

OK i got the answer. God created man and woman to bring the population to the present state. If god created females only to reproduce amongst themselves the human race would of died of over popluation 1000's of years ago because females would of been humping each other at a constant rate, hours per day leading to overpopulation and extinction. But because intercourse only satisfies the male, females always avoided intercourse to some extent thus preventing over population.