My Perception is already Changing after 2 days on the Forum

[ThisCharmingMan]

Once I signed up I started reading through old threads and one in particular kind of got inside my head. It was from 2008 I think, and was about the possibility and viability of "TS admirers" and T-Girls having serious relationships. It was quite a contentious thread and certain comments made me recoil from their lack of sensitivity but on the other hand, the lack of filters was really eye-opening.

The main points that surfaced were:

- The almost complete centrality of the shemale dick as a driver (ahem) for this attraction/fetish/industry is such that a vast majority of admirers are looking to suck and/or be the bottom

- The vast majority of Trans women (according to one or two of the women who posted) are not only bottoms but reside somewhere along a complex spectrum of intense dislike for their pre-op genitalia

- While most admirers are capable of thinking of, refering to and respecting Trans Women as women - this is only up to a point. I.e. few admirers would want their Trans sweetheart to go through with the operation.


Professional realities and exceptions notwithstanding, ultimately the cock fever in this dynamic, at an interpersonal level, is a destructive and corrosive force.

As for how this realization changes me...
Well, first of all I can't say it was exactly news to me but given that I have not acted on my attraction to any significant degree this dichotomy wasnt at the forefront of my mind before.

It doesnt seem we can really help what gets us hard but on the other hand I am naturally disinclined to ignore an "inconvenient truth" so to speak when I see it. It's not about PC. Im just that way. Now the wind has kind of gone out of my sail.

Has anyone else experienced this?

[Shyla Wild]

Once I signed up I started reading through old threads and one in particular kind of got inside my head. It was from 2008 I think, and was about the possibility and viability of "TS admirers" and T-Girls having serious relationships. It was quite a contentious thread and certain comments made me recoil from their lack of sensitivity but on the other hand, the lack of filters was really eye-opening.

The main points that surfaced were:

- The almost complete centrality of the shemale dick as a driver (ahem) for this attraction/fetish/industry is such that a vast majority of admirers are looking to suck and/or be the bottom

- The vast majority of Trans women (according to one or two of the women who posted) are not only bottoms but reside somewhere along a complex spectrum of intense dislike for their pre-op genitalia

- While most admirers are capable of thinking of, refering to and respecting Trans Women as women - this is only up to a point. I.e. few admirers would want their Trans sweetheart to go through with the operation.


Professional realities and exceptions notwithstanding, ultimately the cock fever in this dynamic, at an interpersonal level, is a destructive and corrosive force.

As for how this realization changes me...
Well, first of all I can't say it was exactly news to me but given that I have not acted on my attraction to any significant degree this dichotomy wasnt at the forefront of my mind before.

It doesnt seem we can really help what gets us hard but on the other hand I am naturally disinclined to ignore an "inconvenient truth" so to speak when I see it. It's not about PC. Im just that way. Now the wind has kind of gone out of my sail.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Ok, I will try to tackle this.

Point one:
The Cock as the driver and men that Bottom or Want to suck cock.

Let me ask you a question. If it was not for the the cock factor, why not a Genetic Girl?

Point Two:
Girls being Bottoms and/or dislike of our genitalia.

You have to understand, that a transwoman is a woman. She see herself as a girl, thinks as a girl. So when she looks down there she sees her male side. It hurts. Example, imagine that you woke up one morning and magically your cock has been replaced with a pussy. Of course you can hide this in public, but imagine looking in the mirror every morning...

Last Point
Admirers and our Final Operation.

This is a little tricky. We understand our admirers and your love for what makes us special but men must understand that this is a phase for us. That is why it's called transition. As you probably noticed, most girls retire after this period. For many escorts, it's an end to a means.

Relationships for a Tgirl is not easy because of the change. Obviously the girl you met is going to change.

Lastly, and this is a scary point or something to think about. Like you mentioned, guys are often against the final operation. Can you blame them? What attracted you in the first place? A great catch 22...the thing that attracted you to the tgirl; is the exact thing she is trying to rid herself of.

BTW: I figured I would reply one of your novels (oops I meant Posts)....with a novel.

[ThisCharmingMan]

C'mon, I tried really hard to make this one as brief as I could.

But thanks for the response.

We're completely on the same page with this. These points and the reasons are what I have come to recognize rather quickly from being on here.

For me it has had the effect of dissolving the fantasy/fetish somewhat. Now when I see an erotic T-Girl image and feel the "stirring", I also see someone who is only doing that so she can one day cut it off and end her suffering. Then I want to hug her and learn about her not blow her.

Kind of thing.

[Shyla Wild]

. Now when I see an erotic T-Girl image and feel the "stirring", I also see someone who is only doing that so she can one day cut it off and end her suffering. Then I want to hug her and learn about her not blow her.

We call that compassion and empathy.

Feels kinda good doesn't it?

[ThisCharmingMan]

That little man under Simhamukha's foot is my ignorance.
You strong beautiful women are all her.
Thank you.

[Shyla Wild]

Very Cute.

[ThisCharmingMan]

It wasnt sarcasm.
Needlessly archetypal and melodramatic maybe, but I do get that way.
Honestly, I feel like I have woken from a powerful dream.

[ThisCharmingMan]

So no one has experienced this internal conflict over being aroused (and possibly obsessed) on the one hand and objectifying, exploiting and dehumanizing a tragically misunderstood and suffering people on the other?

Or is it common but a buzz-kill?

I know the dakini image may have seemed out of left field but it is meant to imply that we are in this together and we as admirers have more to learn from them than the women do from us. They awaken our desire and force us to confront our selfishness and (sometimes willful) ignorance - this is what dakini's do. This dilema, my friends, is an opportunity for spiritual and cultural growth.

[ThisCharmingMan]

As for ideas on what to do, I'm thinking either be present to the energy and thought patterns and do nothing to act on it or pay these lovely women to spend time with us but not suck them or bottom. Maybe just watch tv. Eat together. Shoulder rubs. Foot rubs. Maybe a bit of kissing and hand-holding. Conversation. In other words act like human beings who see value in each other.

If we want to bottom and suck so bad there are plenty of workers and opportunities for free sex in the Gay community. Don't tell me you have never found one guy attractive enough to fuck. I say we learn to deal with it.

[ThisCharmingMan]

Sorry to keep harping on this. It looks like a non-starter. But since I'm at it, the other issue that has occured to me during this mind-change or whatever is the possibility that my essentially moralistic stance can be perceived as judgemental or a slight towards the women that are actively working and want customers and so on. Also maybe some of the women like their dicks, enjoy topping, dont want to have the operation and enjoy being desired. What do I know?

It might be nice if someone who works in the business commented. In a perfect world what would your ideal appointment consist of?

Ok, I'll shut up now.

[Rock Savage]

Let me ask you a question. If it was not for the the cock factor, why not a Genetic Girl?

Here's my answer: I get off on the process of transformation, on the sexuality that drives a genetically born male to become a female in every way. A gg just IS a woman...a t-fille WANTS the transformation, works at it, and is far more feminine, more of a woman, because of that.

I am attracted to femininity, to women---and to t-filles, because they can be the most womanly women of all.

[Shyla Wild]

Here's my answer: I get off on the process of transformation, on the sexuality that drives a genetically born male to become a female in every way. A gg just IS a woman...a t-fille WANTS the transformation, works at it, and is far more feminine, more of a woman, because of that.

I am attracted to femininity, to women---and to t-filles, because they can be the most womanly women of all.

Fair enough...never thought about it that way.

[Bawb]

my $0.02

Ok, I will try to tackle this.

Point one:
The Cock as the driver and men that Bottom or Want to suck cock.

Let me ask you a question. If it was not for the the cock factor, why not a Genetic Girl?

Point Two:
Girls being Bottoms and/or dislike of our genitalia.

You have to understand, that a transwoman is a woman. She see herself as a girl, thinks as a girl. So when she looks down there she sees her male side. It hurts. Example, imagine that you woke up one morning and magically your cock has been replaced with a pussy. Of course you can hide this in public, but imagine looking in the mirror every morning...

Last Point
Admirers and our Final Operation.

This is a little tricky. We understand our admirers and your love for what makes us special but men must understand that this is a phase for us. That is why it's called transition. As you probably noticed, most girls retire after this period. For many escorts, it's an end to a means.

Relationships for a Tgirl is not easy because of the change. Obviously the girl you met is going to change.

Lastly, and this is a scary point or something to think about. Like you mentioned, guys are often against the final operation. Can you blame them? What attracted you in the first place? A great catch 22...the thing that attracted you to the tgirl; is the exact thing she is trying to rid herself of.

BTW: I figured I would reply one of your novels (oops I meant Posts)....with a novel.

1st off, TCM, you are over-thinking and over-analyzing, and you talk too much.
2nd point, a lot of guys who like tgirls are versatile and not cock-centric
3rd; most tgirls are on estrogen which tends to make people less agressive, and ultimately want to transistion 100% into women [so of course they want to lose the penis\testis and get a vagina]
4th; I've dated post-op tgirls and love them, most tgirl escorts find a partner & retire after the operation .

[ThisCharmingMan]

1st off, TCM, you are over-thinking and over-analyzing, and you talk too much


Yeah, you're right. What was I thinking?... talking on a discussion forum...
Overthinking my role in adding to someones pain and sadness. Should just go with every impulse and get my freak on without a second thought.

Sounds like I hit a nerve there bawb.

If not, then thanks for contributing points 2 and 3.

[Rantsalot]

...

CharmingMan , you have gained further insight and knowledge after just 2 days. Good. Great. Rock Savage and Bawb have expressed their feelings about the subject and don't agree with you. Fine. In the end it doesn't really matter as all individuals have a different stance on the matter.

CharmingMan there have been numerous threads similar to this by people who are new here. Some of the time people will respond and some of the time the thread disappears into oblivion. There are many here who will participate on a discussion but do not harp too much if there is no participation. Take time to learn the ropes here and things will fall into place.



Cheers