Tweet
Q. What do you call an obsession with goose feathers?
A. Down Syndrome.
Q. What do you call an obsession with fabric softener?
A. Downey syndrome.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat and a pig?
A. Sausage lynx
Q. Where do cantaloups go for the summer?
A. John Cougar's Mellencamp..
Q. Why does an Indian wear feathers on his head?
A. To keep his wig-wam.
Q. How do you make a kleenex dance?
A. Blow a little boogie into it.
Q. Did you hear about the happy Roman?
A. He was gladiator.
Q. Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
A. He made a spectacle of himself.
Q. Did you hear about the optician?
A. Two glasses and he made a spectacle of himself.
Q. How about the man who ran through a screen door?
A. He strained himself.
Q. How about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place?
A. They said it was a grizzly accident.
Q. What kind of luggage do vultures take with them on airplanes?
A. Carrion.
Q. "Doctor, doctor! Some days I think I'm a teepee, others I think I'm a wigwam! What do I do?"
A. "Relax, you're too tents."
Q. "Doctor, doctor! Birds keep building nests in my horses' manes! What should I do?"
A. "Sprinkle yeast on them and call me in the morning."
Q. "But why?"
A. "Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet!"
HUMAN CANNONBALL: "That does it, I quit!"
CIRCUS MANAGER: "But where will I ever find another man of your caliber?"
HE: Jeez, this coffee tastes like mud!
SHE: That's funny, it was ground this morning.
HE: What would you do if you found a million dollars?
SHE: Well, if it was a poor person who lost it, I'd return it.
HE: "Have you been eating cake lately?"
SHE: "No, why?"
HE: "It's just that you look so crummy..."
A. Down Syndrome.
Q. What do you call an obsession with fabric softener?
A. Downey syndrome.
Q. What do you get when you cross a cat and a pig?
A. Sausage lynx
Q. Where do cantaloups go for the summer?
A. John Cougar's Mellencamp..
Q. Why does an Indian wear feathers on his head?
A. To keep his wig-wam.
Q. How do you make a kleenex dance?
A. Blow a little boogie into it.
Q. Did you hear about the happy Roman?
A. He was gladiator.
Q. Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens grinding machine?
A. He made a spectacle of himself.
Q. Did you hear about the optician?
A. Two glasses and he made a spectacle of himself.
Q. How about the man who ran through a screen door?
A. He strained himself.
Q. How about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place?
A. They said it was a grizzly accident.
Q. What kind of luggage do vultures take with them on airplanes?
A. Carrion.
Q. "Doctor, doctor! Some days I think I'm a teepee, others I think I'm a wigwam! What do I do?"
A. "Relax, you're too tents."
Q. "Doctor, doctor! Birds keep building nests in my horses' manes! What should I do?"
A. "Sprinkle yeast on them and call me in the morning."
Q. "But why?"
A. "Yeast is yeast and nest is nest and never the mane shall tweet!"
HUMAN CANNONBALL: "That does it, I quit!"
CIRCUS MANAGER: "But where will I ever find another man of your caliber?"
HE: Jeez, this coffee tastes like mud!
SHE: That's funny, it was ground this morning.
HE: What would you do if you found a million dollars?
SHE: Well, if it was a poor person who lost it, I'd return it.
HE: "Have you been eating cake lately?"
SHE: "No, why?"
HE: "It's just that you look so crummy..."
Comment