I (almost) have a 'BLUE CHRISTMAS' & Ageing sucks!

[Lani]

When I came to Canada to be reunited with my parents (it actually seems like yesterday) I was still a spring chicken (so to speak)...And my Mother was still very active, working, and living life to the fullest...But as nature took it's course and ageing (and stroke) put a halt to what seems to be an ideal life now suddenly confined to a hospital bed and wheelchair. Heart breaking, but without a choice needs to accept and thankful that a day after tomorrow 'CHRISTMAS' I still have my Mother to celebrate Dec.25.
It's been three months after her stroke wherein she's in total care, she could still recognize but with lapses in memory, still I'm thankful. Before she regained conciousness and with uncertainties, I already talked to her while we're alone in the hospital that if what stopping her is her worries from leaving us her children, I told her not to ( it's to alleviate her sufferings) telling her we would be okay. I know I'm just lying, we will never be okay 'coz, we will miss her, I will miss her forever.

She's the reason why I veered away from a simple, wholesome and quiet life, so I could afford to give her some comfort and for her to savour having a house of her own. But I'm afraid the beginning to an end is fast approaching and I'm gonna lose the person who gave her love unconditionally when I started a new phase in life for being somewhat different and who without hesitation defended me against any bullies and hardships from people who doesn't know any better. And I will love her for the rest of my life and I will sacrifice the life and lifestyle I have accustomed to, to take care of her at home until the dreaded end.

Ageing really sucks! as I am no longer young and vibrant (and! lovely) as I used to be. It hurts and I hate to admit that my shelf life is about to expire too, though there are still some people who still finds me sexy, but I know the luster I used to once have is at it's ebb. Hard to admit but needs to be real, especially amongst all the lovely girls I meet every Thursday night at club 120, not only are they getting younger but more and more lovely girls are abound there. But I already stopped envying and instead admiring them and wishing them all well. You young ladies (if you could read this) savour the moment, stay away from bad vices, I use to be so proud of my look and thought I'll be forever young, and if possible don't stray away from your family especially your Mom if you still have one. you will never be happy if you had a chance to love her and you didn't, 'coz, a Mother will love you back ten times fold. This could be my most special holidays, and I will treasure every minute. Took me a long time to decide in making this thread. And sorry to divert from the usual topic and Thanks for you indulgence.
I hope I could see you all again someday.

Wishing you all a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!



She is my life....How nice if I
could be young again, and how I wish my Mom is young and healthy again.

[Tia Phoenixx]

When I came to Canada to be reunited with my parents (it actually seems like yesterday) I was still a spring chicken (so to speak)...And my Mother was still very active, working, and living life to the fullest...But as nature took it's course and ageing (and stroke) put a halt to what seems to be an ideal life now suddenly confined to a hospital bed and wheelchair. Heart breaking, but without a choice needs to accept and thankful that a day after tomorrow 'CHRISTMAS' I still have my Mother to celebrate Dec.25.
It's been three months after her stroke wherein she's in total care, could still recognized but with lapses in memory, still I'm thankful. Before she regained conciousness and with uncertainties, I already talked to her while we're alone in the hospital that if what stopping her is her worries from leaving us, I told her not to ( it's to alleviate her sufferings) telling her we would be okay. I know I'm just lying we will never be okay 'coz, we will miss her I will miss her forever.

She's the reason why I veered away from a simple, clean and quiet life, so I could afford to give her some comfort and for her to savour having a house of her own. But I'm afraid the beginning to an end is fast approaching and I'm gonna lose the person who gave her love unconditionally when I started a new phase in life for being somewhat different and who without hesitation defended me against any bullies and hardships from people who doesn't know any better. And I will love her for the rest of my life and I will sacrifice the life and lifestyle I have accustomed to, to take care of her at home until the dreaded end.

Ageing really sucks! as I am no longer young and vibrant (and! lovely) as I used to be. It hurts and I hate to admit that my shelf life is about to expire too, though there's still plenty of guys still finds me sexy, I know the luster I used to once have is at it's ebb. Hard to admit but needs to be real, especially amongst all the lovely girls I meet every Thursday night at club 120, not only are they getting younger but more and more lovely girls are abound there. But I already stopped envying instead admiring them and wishing them all well. You young ladies (if you could read this) savour the moment, stay away from bad vices, I use to be so proud of my look and thought I'll be forever young, and if possible don't stray away from your family especially your Mom if you still have one. you will never be happy if you had a chance to love her and you didn't, 'coz, a Mother will love you back ten times fold. This could be my most special holidays, and I will treasure every minute. Took me a long time to decide in making this thread. And sorry to divert from the usual topic and Thanks for you indulgence.
I hope I could see you all again someday.

Wishing you all a MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!



She is my life[ATTACH=CONFIG]67951[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]67952[/ATTACH][ATTACH=CONFIG]67953[/ATTACH]....How nice if I
could be young again.

thanks for sharing Lani


Technology (hate to admit, that's including surgery), healthy life style and positive thinking are the key of youthful look.

everybody has the chance to look at least 10 years younger than his/her age nowadays.

Keep the spirit up!

Happy holiday!

[Rockheart]

Life happens and everyone has regrets but it is the plan everyone is on.
Some comforts in my life have gotten better but the loneliness has yet to be cured, but I'm sure many feel this way.
Not many have the perfect life, only certain portions will be perfect sometimes.
But many are not positive and cheerful as yourself.

You always seemed like a great person to me, and I am sure you will continue to be.

Best wish to you and your mother, you both look beautiful.

Seasons greetings.

[cobbler]

Beautifully said Lani.

[TSFantasia]

Living Each Stage of Life Fully & With Dignity

Happy to hear that your Mom was there for you throughout your life and your biggest fan and supporter! Its also great that you have been there for her helping her out with material comforts through your labours and now there for her in her old age years. Seeing someone we love aging is never easy or being reminded of our own youth and looks will not last forever is never easy.

I am the youngest of four children and my parents are both quickly aging as my Mom was 42 when the stork surprised her with me! My Dad was 46. Though the youngest and in many ways the black sheep of the family I have been close to my parents (they were divorced when I was 10) through my ups and downs. My Mom has been there emotionally to talk to and my Dad and I are the closest of the four kids. He has always been there for me and my brother and sisters and has helped us all out financially when we needed it.

In the last five years I have seen my Dad go from a super active man, who enjoyed his dancing, socializing and blackjack to someone who is now in a nursing home and in a state of clinical depression. My Mom's health is ok she lives in a seniors apartment block and for the last year has been showing the early stages of dementia or alzheimers. So old age catches up to all of us eventually.

I think all a person can do is to enjoy each stage of life, stay healthy and youthful but know when its time to let go of one stage of life and embrace the next. I'm thinking of a relay race where each member goes full out until they pass the baton to the next team member and so on. I think this can be an illustration of the same person, who lives each stage of their life fully by embracing it and letting go of the last. I think we all know when our bar-hopping, clubbing days are over and its just the occasional celebration night or New Year's Eve that keeps us out all night.

I'm not saying that aging doesn't suck in many ways but always more so when we try to live in a stage in which we no longer belong. Just like everyone thinks the 50ish guy hanging out trying to pick up the 20 yr old girls ,at a Club where the average age is 19-25,is pathetic. Only because he doesn't belong there anymore. There are other places where he is still a handsome, distinguished guy and not the "creepy old pervert".

I don't think old age has to be filled with regrets. There will always be some as we all wish certain things we had done differently. Hopefully we have wonderful memories of our life experiences and some nuggets of wisdom and knowledge to pass on to the younger generations
Best wishes to you and your Mom in the time you have left with her. Hugs

[Lani]

thanks for sharing Lani


Technology (hate to admit, that's including surgery), healthy life style and positive thinking are the key of youthful look.

everybody has the chance to look at least 10 years younger than his/her age nowadays.

Keep the spirit up!

Happy holiday!

Happy Holidays to you too!

Life happens and everyone has regrets but it is the plan everyone is on.
Some comforts in my life have gotten better but the loneliness has yet to be cured, but I'm sure many feel this way.
Not many have the perfect life, only certain portions will be perfect sometimes.
But many are not positive and cheerful as yourself.

You always seemed like a great person to me, and I am sure you will continue to be.

Best wish to you and your mother, you both look beautiful.

Seasons greetings.

Thank You Crag...And I always knew that your heart is in the right place.

I would still want to pinch your ass when you are 65 my sweet.

How sweet!!!...You are the best kisser that I have kissed, not just the best butt pincher. Happy Holidays!

Beautifully said Lani.

Thanks! You are one of the beautiful person that I have met.

Happy to hear that your Mom was there for you throughout your life and your biggest fan and supporter! Its also great that you have been there for her helping her out with material comforts through your labours and now there for her in her old age years. Seeing someone we love aging is never easy or being reminded of our own youth and looks will not last forever is never easy.

I am the youngest of four children and my parents are both quickly aging as my Mom was 42 when the stork surprised her with me! My Dad was 46. Though the youngest and in many ways the black sheep of the family I have been close to my parents (they were divorced when I was 10) through my ups and downs. My Mom has been there emotionally to talk to and my Dad and I are the closest of the four kids. He has always been there for me and my brother and sisters and has helped us all out financially when we needed it.

In the last five years I have seen my Dad go from a super active man, who enjoyed his dancing, socializing and blackjack to someone who is now in a nursing home and in a state of clinical depression. My Mom's health is ok she lives in a seniors apartment block and for the last year has been showing the early stages of dementia or alzheimers. So old age catches up to all of us eventually.

I think all a person can do is to enjoy each stage of life, stay healthy and youthful but know when its time to let go of one stage of life and embrace the next. I'm thinking of a relay race where each member goes full out until they pass the baton to the next team member and so on. I think this can be an illustration of the same person, who lives each stage of their life fully by embracing it and letting go of the last. I think we all know when our bar-hopping, clubbing days are over and its just the occasional celebration night or New Year's Eve that keeps us out all night.

I'm not saying that aging doesn't suck in many ways but always more so when we try to live in a stage in which we no longer belong. Just like everyone thinks the 50ish guy hanging out trying to pick up the 20 yr old girls ,at a Club where the average age is 19-25,is pathetic. Only because he doesn't belong there anymore. There are other places where he is still a handsome, distinguished guy and not the "creepy old pervert".

I don't think old age has to be filled with regrets. There will always be some as we all wish certain things we had done differently. Hopefully we have wonderful memories of our life experiences and some nuggets of wisdom and knowledge to pass on to the younger generations
Best wishes to you and your Mom in the time you have left with her. Hugs

Thanks! Beautiful words from someone who seems to have a beautiful personality. All the best to you too in the coming New Year.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

[toban]

Merry Christmas to a beautiful person

Lani, I have wondered about your absence from these threads but after reading your story today I can now understand that you've experienced some very taxing times while working for your Mom?s betterment.

As you may recall I have often spoken on this forum of your kind and loving attitude towards others. That kind, loving attitude is now even more apparent to us all as it reveals that your daily life is lived as an example of the true ?Spirit of Christmas? - GIVING to others!

God Bless You!

[Guest]

All the best

Hi Lani,

Merry Christmas to you and your mom, as well.

Sincerely,
Babe,
xoxo

[Lani]

Lani, I have wondered about your absence from these threads but after reading your story today I can now understand that you've experienced some very taxing times while working for your Mom’s betterment.

As you may recall I have often spoken on this forum of your kind and loving attitude towards others. That kind, loving attitude is now even more apparent to us all as it reveals that your daily life is lived as an example of the true “Spirit of Christmas” - GIVING to others!

God Bless You!

Toban, one of my biggest regrets is meeting you 'only' once, wished there's more than once, but however short it was and no hanky panky that occured...It was the highlight of my adventures when I joined the t-girl community in downtown. You are such a beautiful person, Thank You for the winsome characterization of me, you're such a generous soul. (You know I preferred not to reply to the post on my threads, but yours is one I cannot ignore) besides it's really difficult for me to sit on my computer as I am now exhausted at the end of the day with my caregiving chores daily, very challenging and I felt burned out, but taking it easy at the same time, as I pray that I won't get sick 'coz, I don't want to delegate my chores in taking care of my Mom. Thus I finally decided to make this thread, it somehow alleviate the compounding emotions that filling me up, this helped in some way (such as your words is healing my pain in some ways. Though, as I have said her physical presence this holidays is a comfort which cannot be replace). We celebrated Christmas eve with the whole family and with Joy.

[Lani]

Sincerely,
Babe,
xoxo

Happy Holidays to you as well.