Necessity is the mother of invention.

[Guest]

Hi to all you jerk off people,

At what age did you begin to masturbate?

Do you look at images (porn) or is "it" all mental imagery?

What items, like household items or kitchen items, have you ever tried to recreate the feeling of having fellatio performed on you?
Tool box items are good for penetration because they are long and hard, but i am wondering more about what goes around the penis to simulate a BJ.
'kay?? we on the right track, now?

I've heard of a flour dough with oil in a empty jar.
Hmm, i've heard of, you know...hand cream, jells, soap, shampoo, saliva, old cum (yuck), spit (or other liquid plasma or substance) in a condom, the list goes on.
However, seeing as i wouldn't want to take all the fun away from everybody, i will let some of you reveal what kooky but effective things work and feel great, you know...from what you've heard, or maybe even experienced, yourself.
Humans are very resourceful.

Babe,
xoxo

[Franklinzed]

Been watching porn since like 13, but first spanked at 19. Just didn't make the connection btn the two until after I had sex in college lol
But alas I know nothing about using household items to enhance the experience

[Guest]

Hmmm spanking sounds painful

Hi Franklin,

So you just slap (spank) your hard dick til orgasm happens?
Well, different strokes for different folks i suppose.
Honestly, i am sure you do more than just "spank" it.

If i slap my "thing", it goes soft because slapping does not feel nice.

I know people are ashamed to admit what they use.

I've heard about Romanian soldiers in the 50s using chickens to get off. Don't ask me how that works but i did hear the jokes about it.

Babe,
xoxo

[Franklinzed]

Babe,
xoxo[/FONT][/SIZE]

Lol you're so cute. I meant spanking as in "spanking the monkey", an expression for good old fashioned wanking.
I know many posters here know even more hilarious expressions for it.

Yeah I have heard of people even in modern times in villages/small towns using chickens. In Florida like 5 people have been arrested since the start of the year for using dogs (men and women). That's disturbing!

I've heard urban legends about a guy who called 911 because he "slipped" and fell onto his vacuum cleaner and it sucked off his penis lol. So don't try Hoovers for sure

[Guest]

A Filter Queen makes more sense.

Hi Franklin,

Well, c'mon. A Hoover? Ouch!

A Hoover is a floor model with a huge power head at the bottom with a rotating brush.
I can't possibly imagine anyone trying to use a Hoover on his dick. A Hoover would chop it up into pieces of broken skin.

A Filter Queen type of canister, on the other hand, sounds more logical.
It has a long hose for the guy to stick his dick into the end and enjoy a good suck.
But if the guy's dick is really thick, forget about, it won't pass into the tube.
I suppose vacuum cleaners are only good for men with skinny dicks.
I've been called a Filter Queen - because i suck so well.

Babe,
xoxo