why SMC just makes sense (for both sides of the table)

[candyhilton]

thanks for the positive perspective Tia. I would gladly marry Nadal! he's a HUNK!! He looks like my other dream man osh Hartnett).


I agree, there is nothing wrong with having a sugar daddy UNTIL he throws u away... like mine did...
I showed up at his hotel room near Pearson airport, and after we had sex, he told me he wasen't taking me with him on our trip that we had planned, and that he actually had "a younger, hotter version of you (waiting for me at my hotel in NYC). I just wanted to use u for sex while I waited for my flight" (was his exact words). and that was it.
To men, we are replaceable at the drop of a dime.

[Tia Phoenixx]

thanks for the positive perspective Tia. I would gladly marry Nadal! he's a HUNK!! He looks like my other dream man osh Hartnett).
[ATTACH=CONFIG]77015[/ATTACH]

I agree, there is nothing wrong with having a sugar daddy UNTIL he throws u away... like mine did...
I showed up at his hotel room near Pearson airport, and after we had sex, he told me he wasen't taking me with him on our trip that we had planned, and that he actually had "a younger, hotter version of you (waiting for me at my hotel in NYC). I just wanted to use u for sex while I waited for my flight" (was his exact words). and that was it.
To men, we are replaceable at the drop of a dime.

aw...girl..we share the same type of men LOL

Anyway, i got dumped too before...so chill..it is not the end of the world.

As i stated above don't be too serious and naive.
Sugar daddy will dump us sooner or later....when he gets bored of us...
That is why i have toyboys instead LOL
You should join me...I will teach you how

[Tia Phoenixx]

btw, it is almost 1 am in Finland...mommy needs to go to bed lol.

I will join the discussion again tomorrow morning. and thanks for sharing honest inputs.

Yes, it is hard being a tgirl...but with extra determination, courage and i am embarrassed to admit, extra surgery, we will get what we deserve in life!

[vancouverman]

When you chose boyfriends based on looks or money; the likelihood of long term success is very low. I know the TS girls mostly chase and date the young muscle boys, but those guys are not going to give you long term love; neither will a sugar daddy who is just paying for your body and will change you when he gets bored or you get older. And well, as they are likely with you for sex only, you will get dumped .

I think if anyone wants long term success in a relationship, looks and money need to be pushed way down the list when choosing a partner. I know this is hard to do for all of us, but putting these factors at the top will lead to shorter and more casual dating. I will say though, if you are able to be at peace with that, then have a lot of fun. But, if you want something deep and lasting, it needs to be done differently.

Candy's approach of "money only for sex" is fine if you are not looking for a deep emotional long lasting connection. It can work if that is all you want.

[TSFantasia]

oh...that is actually not correct, though i can see some points of each of you girl, but i disagree with each opinion, if we see it on wiser, bigger perspective

we have some tgirls in here who have boyfriends and sugar daddies..so it is not that hard actually to have a committed relationship.

If i am not mistaken, you have already had a boyfriend right Fantasia?


Me, i am single, and because i am not ready to settle down yet and because i have not really found somebody who is capable to handle me on a daily basis lol.
and why not having a sugar daddy?
well, because i am already a millionaire so i need a billionaire to become my sugar daddy, and it is not easy to find a billionaire nowadays. that is why i am single LOL (joke! I am currently in my crazy, happy mood after having lots of great sex in Finland)

At the moment, i prefer to have lots of toyboys in every country rather than one man in my life. Unless of course, Rafael Nadal or Chris Evans ask me to marry them lol

So cheer up..we will find somebody. Just don't take it seriously, but still keep our doors open.

and btw, i think i hurt guys feeling more than they hurt my feeling. In other words, i am the one who usually say good bye or get bored first, not them.

Yes Tia I've had a few dating relationship "boyfriends" since I transitioned to full time which holy shit was only 2 years ago lol. But I have to say if you haven't been introduced to your boyfriend's family or friends within 3 months you have to wonder what kind of "relationship" your in. This is the conundrum we face dating men who cannot accept or declare their sexuality is anything other than heterosexual as the whole world will end if they do! Of course I harp on this because to me when I see beautiful trans women who struggle with depression and loneliness because of this situation (just a second I need to pop a Prozac..JK ). I have no doubt that genetic women on the same level of beauty & sensuality would have had 10 proposals on bended knee from willing suitors

Of course being an escort or porn star is not usually the qualities men look for in a life partner either from GG or TG women lol. But many trans women have never done either and face the same difficulties. I'm sure in your travels you have found places where men openly date trans women? I think it's call Shangri La

[JessicaDrew]

When you chose boyfriends based on looks or money; the likelihood of long term success is very low. I know the TS girls mostly chase and date the young muscle boys, but those guys are not going to give you long term love; neither will a sugar daddy who is just paying for your body and will change you when he gets bored or you get older. And well, as they are likely with you for sex only, you will get dumped .

I think if anyone wants long term success in a relationship, looks and money need to be pushed way down the list when choosing a partner. I know this is hard to do for all of us, but putting these factors at the top will lead to shorter and more casual dating. I will say though, if you are able to be at peace with that, then have a lot of fun. But, if you want something deep and lasting, it needs to be done differently.

Candy's approach of "money only for sex" is fine if you are not looking for a deep emotional long lasting connection. It can work if that is all you want.

I've had a few relationships with men since transition, and the results have been anywhere from tragic to surprisingly pleasant. When it comes to looking for a long-term partner, looks aren't important for me. A sense of humour tops my list of attractive features! I also look for someone open-minded, spontaneous, fun and affectionate. Major bonus points for being geeky or artistic! And if he can cook... *SWOON*

When it comes to money, financial stability is far more important in a long-term partner than affluence. A man with a moderate income that can live within his means, and is smart with money, is the better choice over the long haul than the guy who has money and loves to throw it around. As for sexual monogamy...well, I just don't think it works. What is more realistic is a relationship that is emotionally monogamous, but allows for some physical play outside the core relationship. This requires very good communication and the willingness to set and respect boundaries.

[TSFantasia]

thanks for the positive perspective Tia. I would gladly marry Nadal! he's a HUNK!! He looks like my other dream man osh Hartnett).
[ATTACH=CONFIG]77015[/ATTACH]

I agree, there is nothing wrong with having a sugar daddy UNTIL he throws u away... like mine did...
I showed up at his hotel room near Pearson airport, and after we had sex, he told me he wasen't taking me with him on our trip that we had planned, and that he actually had "a younger, hotter version of you (waiting for me at my hotel in NYC). I just wanted to use u for sex while I waited for my flight" (was his exact words). and that was it.
To men, we are replaceable at the drop of a dime.

Sorry to hear that happened to you Candy always hurts to be lied too, deceived, and used like that Unfortunately that story repeats itself in 100s or 1000s of trans womens' lives. Keep looking and searching make the guys who profess sincerity wait for the intimacy part as you find out pretty quick what the guys only interests are when you tell them "Sure we can hang out no sex!" Lol.
Just saw a few posts from a drop dead gorgeous FB friend trans girl. One she was obviously going out on a date the next day was all cursing about being na?ve and opening herself up!
So as far as always making guys pay for any interaction with us I'm not sure which comes first the chicken or the egg? In other words do T-girls come to this conclusion after trying to have a real dating relationship with guys and get tired of the lies and getting used? For me it wasn't that just a logical financial decision to further my transition goals as I still date guys and I do have a 3 date rule if they haven't impressed me by the 2nd date there won't be a 3rd anyways

[Tia Phoenixx]

What is more realistic is a relationship that is emotionally monogamous, but allows for some physical play outside the core relationship. This requires very good communication and the willingness to set and respect boundaries.

I am back with a great input from Jessica that i agree with !


Now, allow me to share my personal point of view and opinion with a touch of humor since i am in a good mood now

here we go:

Emotional connection and compatibility play crucial roles into a successful relationship beyond anything else.

Don't put too much restrictions on what we like or dislike from our potential partners.
Who do you think we are? Adriana Lima? lol

Unfortunately most of us are not blessed with great physical attributes as hers.
But it does not mean our life will be miserable if we are realistically realize our boundaries and eager to improve and develop things that need to be improved.

When i started being a tgirl few years back, i set my limit to find a partner within 5 years of my career.
And ups...5 years have passed and i am still single, it has been almost 8 years now!
what is wrong with me?

Instead of blaming at others, I look at myself and see what need to be improved in my life, personality, appearance, etc.
I have found many 'minuses' here and there in me, that might be the reasons of why i am still single.
And slowly but sure, i have corrected some.

There was a time, i believe i was born with two spirits. I still believe in it till now. However, in life, most people only see us as either a woman or a man, not really in between. So, why should i wait for this special one coming to my life, if i have the ability to transform myself into a woman, improving my attitude, being friendly and more relax, being sexy but not too pushy thus broadening my chance of finding the right one. If it is not the right one, o well..at least he is the right one in bed lol

First and foremost rule:
Remember, first impression counts, so take it or leave it, we have to be attractive in order to open more chance of having a great partner.

done. I have made my surgery.

Great...am i having someone now? No, not yet.

why is that?
several reasons:
1.The men whom i like are too shy. So instead of waiting to be approached, i am the one who take the initiative and say HI to them.
2. I stay in a wrong country, meeting with the wrong type of men. If i stayed in Indonesia by now, i am 100% sure, i will be single forever, but hey....this is for sure not the case, if i stay in Turkey, Tunisia, Samoa, Egypt...and the list goes on. So instead of staying in that wrong place, why not flying to those paradise? Ok, i am not waiting for my men to come to see me, i am flying to them!!
3. etc..etc... Ok, i can fix this. I will learn their language, I will try to improve the way i dress, etc

Oh...at this point, i have the time of my life lol
http://www.tia-phoenixx.com/node/3355

At this point i can give you girls a great input:
instead of giving all these rules and restrictions, that our men need to be able to cook, he has to show us to his parents on the third dates bla...bla...bla....thinking or imagining that we were born that special so every man will come without us doing anything. Why don't we forget this restriction and just simply go with the flow. chill and relax, take every thing slows...and the mental connection will come stronger without any push from our side, instead why dont we learn about him deeper. Remember guys can be as shy as us too you know. They might have some burdens as we have too.....as a matter of fact, they share similar fear with us. So instead of forcing them, doing something for us, why don't we try to understand them first?

By improving my appearance through surgery, by my willingness to understand and to adapt to men's like and dislikes, by being so free and relax about sex, by being caring and give extra attention to men....and other little things that men like....I am flooded with suitors now LOL

conclusion:
1. no rule, just chill
2. Nothing really extra ordinary about us, so let us be real, and improve ourselves to the max in order to improve our chance to get a better partner, at least in bed LOL
3. World is so big, so instead of being lonely in the wrong place and among 'wrong men', why not flying or finding the paradise in this world, full of men who adore us. Cmon...let us check booking.com or expedia lol
4. Dont be a dreamer, be realistic
5. Men are as shy and as afraid and have the same problem like us, so understand them better.

wrong myths:
1. handsome, muscular men are dump
2. Ordinary men are better than handsome men or wealthy men
3. Millionaire and billionaires are fat, ugly bastards

The moment we understand fully ourselves and once we are willing to cope with our weakness, physically and mentally and willing to improve it, the chance of us finding a partner for life and in bed is: the sky is the limit.
Not only, we can have a hunky handsome guy who is a millionaire, but he might also turn up to be a Harvard business graduate.
I have one, the problem is, he is younger than me, so i give him a chance to fuck hundreds of girls before finally marry me LOL.

[Tia Phoenixx]

I'm sure in your travels you have found places where men openly date trans women? I think it's call Shangri La

yes, wanna join?

pack you luggage and let's rock n roll

there will be time when we suddenly realize that having a man is almost as easy as changing clothes

[tek1234]

Here's why it just makes sense and I LOVE the concept of it, for both the service providers and the Johns

for the Johns:
Instead of him pretending to want to get to know the girl (when he really could care less), and spending $90 on dinner (25 her meal, 25 his meal, 20 for 2 drinks, 20 for tax and tip), and then followed up by some activity he really could care less to partake in rather it be a $25 movie (12.50 a head), AND THEN hoping she puts out... which may happen or not happen. Lets say she says no... so he goes home ($100 plus dollars in the hole), and jacks off to tranny porn.
Instead he could just put that $$$ towards some girl from the site, and skip the "I'm not like the other guys" act lol u know?

for the service providers:
not getting mislead into thinking "well he may be 'the one'"... so if I put out to him he'll call me the next day or week or whatever... little does she knows he will never call again cuz he got what he wanted.
I knew a girl who handed out a freebie to a guy who pretended to want to get to know her for her, so she put out, and then he called back the next night and said "hey last night was great can we get together again". Upon finding out from her he went in straight for sex after a few mins, I suggested she ask for a donation, so she did during their 2nd phone call... and his end of the line hung up! lol!
A guy will ask u to not be seen with him on public but lets just hangout at your place and we'll watch a movie there and maybe have sex? (again... looking for freebies but ashamed to be seen with her in public).

I think SMC is a great place to meet transgender escorts , the reviews help me decide which provider is worth seeing & also by reading posts over a long period of time it becomes clear the escorts that provide the best service to their clients

[TSFantasia]

T-Girls Once a Fetish Always a Fetish ?

Of course on the flip side as T-Girls/transwomen we have put ourselves in this position of being viewed only as
sexual objects/fetishes. So to put expectations on guys whose only interest in us is on that level whether it be a paid or unpaid
encounter is fairly unreasonable too.

I posted a thread some time back about "Tgirls do your litmus tests" Basically if our motivation for crossdressing or transitioning comes from the feedback we get on sex hook up sites, fetish chat rooms, etc. our perception of reality and expectations will be skewed considerably.

People can have all kinds of sexual fetishes in their private, discreet lives and encounters (ie BDSM, crossdressing, etc) that they don't carry over into their personal public lives. While she may be a dominatrix in the bedroom your high school teacher is likely all prim and proper in the classroom. The CEO who spends his weekends chained to a bedpost and grovelling on hands and knees in obedience to his mistress is all business and in charge in the office and board room. So most of the guys interested in t-girls for a hook up or escort appointment are not interested in having us at their side at a family picnic or company bbq .

As T-girls we are lucky to be able to make money off this fetish interest or have a steady stream of one night stands/FWBs, if we choose that option. However long term meaningful relationships are difficult to find for anyone straight or LGBT that's why there are dozens of dating sites with millions of lonely singles looking. And the more narrow our dating pool is of potentially interested partners the greater the challenge and so back to the winning the lottery getting hit by lightning comparison lol.

[Tia Phoenixx]

Of course on the flip side as T-Girls/transwomen we have put ourselves in this position of being viewed only as
sexual objects/fetishes. So to put expectations on guys whose only interest in us is on that level whether it be a paid or unpaid
encounter is fairly unreasonable too.

I posted a thread some time back about "Tgirls do your litmus tests" Basically if our motivation for crossdressing or transitioning comes from the feedback we get on sex hook up sites, fetish chat rooms, etc. our perception of reality and expectations will be skewed considerably.

People can have all kinds of sexual fetishes in their private, discreet lives and encounters (ie BDSM, crossdressing, etc) that they don't carry over into their personal public lives. While she may be a dominatrix in the bedroom your high school teacher is likely all prim and proper in the classroom. The CEO who spends his weekends chained to a bedpost and grovelling on hands and knees in obedience to his mistress is all business and in charge in the office and board room. So most of the guys interested in t-girls for a hook up or escort appointment are not interested in having us at their side at a family picnic or company bbq .

As T-girls we are lucky to be able to make money off this fetish interest or have a steady stream of one night stands/FWBs, if we choose that option. However long term meaningful relationships are difficult to find for anyone straight or LGBT that's why there are dozens of dating sites with millions of lonely singles looking. And the more narrow our dating pool is of potentially interested partners the greater the challenge and so back to the winning the lottery getting hit by lightning comparison lol.

there is certain truth in your opinion for sure.

However, we have to consider ourselves first as a person, as a unique individual, rather than as a tgirl.

I dont label and see myself as tgirl per say, i see me as the one and only with all the pluses and minuses of me being an individual that makes me unique.

If we keep thinking that we are just merely a tgirl and men come to see us just for their sexual fantasies, then we will not find a true partner.

If men see me as such (their sexual fantasy), which as you just stated: it happens lots of time, then they have to put the money on the table, or i just use them as my toyboy. Both are fine too LOL

However, i have small circle of local boyfriends and friends, who really see me first as me, a person, and we still keep in touch. They have known me since i was a boy, till now, and soon they will accept me as a woman and none of them leave me so far.

We still keep in touch through my private facebook, emails and phone calls.

I have stated the reason why i am still single by now. But once i am ready to find partner, i am sure i will get it.

So chill.

conclusion: we are a person first, so let us shine through our personality rather than our status as a tgirl. If we are positive, friendly, caring, easy going and open for relationship...i am sure there will be a man for us. Not even one...plenty

[TSFantasia]

Don't Worry Be Happy

there is certain truth in your opinion for sure.

However, we have to consider ourselves first as a person, as a unique individual, rather than as a tgirl.

I dont label and see myself as tgirl per say, i see me as the one and only with all the pluses and minuses of me being an individual that makes me unique.

If we keep thinking that we are just merely a tgirl and men come to see us just for their sexual fantasies, then we will not find a true partner.

If men see me as such (their sexual fantasy), which as you just stated: it happens lots of time, then they have to put the money on the table, or i just use them as my toyboy. Both are fine too LOL

However, i have small circle of local boyfriends and friends, who really see me first as me, a person, and we still keep in touch. They have known me since i was a boy, till now, and soon they will accept me as a woman and none of them leave me so far.

We still keep in touch through my private facebook, emails and phone calls.

I have stated the reason why i am still single by now. But once i am ready to find partner, i am sure i will get it.

So chill.

conclusion: we are a person first, so let us shine through our personality rather than our status as a tgirl. If we are positive, friendly, caring, easy going and open for relationship...i am sure there will be a man for us. Not even one...plenty

I agree there is no point stressing about it as the relationship/love lightning bolt strikes when we least expect it to . We may as well enjoy whatever state our lives are and not dream that the grass will be greener on the other side. Lots of people in relationships miss the freedom and variety of being single so happiness and contentment is a state of mind not what we presently have or do not have .

[Tia Phoenixx]

[QUOTE=TSFantasia;458337]I agree there is no point stressing about it as the relationship/love lightning bolt strikes when we least expect it to . We may as well enjoy whatever state our lives are and not dream that the grass will be greener on the other side. Lots of people in relationships miss the freedom and variety of being single so happiness and contentment is a state of mind not what we presently have or do not have .[/QUOTE

very wise. 100% agree Fantasia