Cyber Bullying

[sunshine]

Here's a link to get you started on the legal consequences of cyberbullying:
http://www.getcybersafe.gc.ca/cnt/cbrbllng/prnts/lgl-cnsqncs-eng.aspx

Recently, I have been the victim of despicable, denigrating, and slanderous accusations about me. It has made me very upset. Cyberbullying is against the law for a reason - it is mean and hurtful.

To be clear, I am very supportive of my sister Tgirls and I do not go around attacking people or attempt to get them in trouble with LE or in any other way. Any Tgirl can contact me if they need help and they'll find me loving, receptive, and attentive. My posts on this forum will also confirm I have a supportive attitude. There have been several such contacts and I will continue to do my part. It is hard enough to transition and live a trans life, we don't need to hate each other. Instead, we should support each other.

For the members of this forum, please speak out against bullying and do not participate in it. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but that liberty does not extend to posting lies and hurtful things about someone. Also, for my own peace of mind, please realize that these posts are untrue.

Thank you

Sunshine

[Alexis]

It's everywhere..

It seems there's a rash of haters lately.. I deal with morons and haters regularly as I'm sure many of us have or do..

Lots of them including popular Tgirls have and still do attack my looks calling me "ugly" and other things in an effort to hurt me I suppose..

Like it elevates them in their minds or something.. when in reality it's just despicable and shows me how ugly they are or can be..

Mostly it's locals, other tgirls, gay fem boys and middle eastern guys.. the later seem to do it as a group function as I can often hear several of them laughing in the background.. the later are also the only ones that concern me and I keep a record of all their calls..

Anyone I deem to be an actual threat to my safety or security gets reported to the police in short order..

There's one girl tho that tries to be sly about her insults to me here on the forum a few times and I suspect through my backpage ad reply form.. It baffles me that someone so successful would bother to take the time to try and insult me.. Unless she does this to many others as well which is likely.. I know from people that are solid that she's totally 2 faced, likes to play games and to set girls against each other.. She lives in Ontario..

I honestly don't have time for cyber bullies.. they're cowards hiding in the shadows.. they must be called out as cowards too..

When I was young I my parents moved around a lot.. I had a funny name so I got picked on quite a bit, seriously bullied by today's standards.. In grade 3 I had enough and became the school bully by beating the shit out of the grade 6 bully.. By grade 10 I had 6 years of Kung-Fu, 2 years of Ninjutsu, 2 years of boxing and 2 years of Judo.. In Kung-Fu I specialized in Iron Fist and Iron Stomach.. I wanted to get into breaking stone blocks and stuff but we moved and I couldn't find a new Master to learn from in Victoria..

I also made honour roll every year and was/am a total nerd with a funny last name..

No one seems to try and bully me in person.. But when they do.. Well if you're gonna start something there's gonna be something.. and if their friends jump in then it gets really messy fast.. I never pick physical fights tho and never strike first.. I prefer to walk softly along the path of Buddha with respect..

Be confident and be strong.. Cyber bullies are like flies.. nothing more than annoying..

I also recommend to all escorts TG or GG that they take self defense training of some kind in addition to their other security measures..

[sunshine]

You're right and I agree

Sorry to hear you had to live through that.

I agree that people who engage in cyberbullying are cowards. It's too easy to be mean and thoughtless when it's apparently anonymous. Some, as you point out from your own experience, believe bullying somehow raises them up. Mostly, this is schoolyard stuff. When it continues into adult life, this is immature in the extreme.

I've also had my share of in-person snide comments, sour looks, and taunts. Like you I suspect, I have no patience for it and go out of my way to put these people in their place. As for online attacks, it is largely a matter of site administrators stepping in. In extreme cases, the new laws can be brought into force.

thanks for your input and for sharing your experience

Sunshine

[alex99]

I joke around on here occasionally, but I try to keep it harmless, because the truth is that I like trans women, and wouldn't be on here otherwise. I may be seen as a troll sometimes, but I'm just trying to break the ice. It's very true though, some people are just very hateful, predatory, and extremely aggressive for no good reason. I agree with Alexis that martial arts seems like a good idea, but what if the bully learns martial arts too? In a lot of cases, I don't think that learning martial arts will teach a bully discipline or how to be a better person either - it'll just teach him/her how to be a worse bully (reminds me of those villains in the old Kung Fu movies - they knew martial arts too but used it for evil! ^^). I don't think violence is the answer, although it's good to be able to better protect yourself or at least get out of a potentially dangerous circumstance. That being said, I personally could never even get into martial arts because I always found myself practicing with either people who were smaller than me, which made me feel like a bully, or with people who seemed like bullies themselves who were just trying to sharpen their own skills at my expense. I just ended up with a chest injury, months of recuperation, and I forgot all the technical stuff. The sad thing is that I was so careful with other people, but they were not careful with me.

I think what we're really looking at with bullies is either mental/emotional problems (NPD, sociopathy, psychopathy, etc., since they tend to target vulnerable people who are smaller or physically weaker than themselves - the same kind of people that might abuse the elderly too), or upbringing/trauma, etc. In the case of a lot of LGBT-related problems, there are sometimes very poisonous religious/conservative values mixed in too. We've all heard of these extreme religious nutcases who talk about homosexuality (and everything related to it) as a sin, and in some cases, they're brazen enough to say that it can be 'cured' like a disease. I think in a lot of cases, at least when it comes to LGBT bullying and a lot of other problems like personal identity, it's because it still hasn't been normalized. This is why we have closetted people in the first place, why coming out is hard for so many, and why some people are so unreflective that they don't even realize they're gay/bi/etc., or their fantasies actually scare them, which is messed up. Basically, a lot of people simply don't have the language and psychological tools to discuss, conceptualize, and cope with these things, and their introduction to them is often through pornography, for instance, which is not as productive as something through the mainstream media, like tv series, talk shows, movies, etc. (I've actually found it a learning experience in many cases talking to trans women because of this too - it's like I can't help but offend people sometimes because I feel so uneducated in this area, and it feels pretty bad sometimes, because I don't like hurting people's feelings) This is in addition to the fact that not too long ago, people were being arrested in Canada for just having anal sex (although I think it had anti-gay undertones/overtones), and in some countries, anything related to homosexuality is punishable by imprisonment or death.

Makes you wonder what the future holds. Things could become very bad again and very quickly, especially if our population demographics radically change at some point. Thankfully people who want Sharia law instated in most Western countries, for instance, are a minority.

On top of that, there's the HIV scare, and the stigma associated with that.

I know I'm probably telling people here what they already know, but I'm just adding my 2c.

[Alexis]

Clarification..

Just to clarify..

After I beat the crap out the school bully in grade 3 I got into sport fighting.. I did this because I was encouraged by my peers and one of my brothers.. It was also considered cool by the other kids in school.. The bonus was it gave me clarity when I took Kung-Fu and it helped to deal with bullies without fighting.. I developed a reputation as an anti-bully..

The best thing to do is figure out how to out them and humiliate them by exposure.. especially if they are popular..

Bullying is not cool.. 50% of teen suicides are from bullying.. 50% of TG suicides are from bullying..

I belong to the 1% that figures out who the bully is and then punches them in the face after I provoke them..

I also stand up for others publicly and otherwise..

[Tasha Jones RIP]

My own experience

I had to really think if I wanted to post on this topic more so on this forum at all. If you have noticed I have not posted, commented or really even logged in for a very long time. This is because of this very topic. This has been the only forum I have been a member of where I have been the victim of bullying with no course of action to protect myself. Where negative untrue posts have remained for days on end for the world to see. It was devastating to me and my life. I was not in the right mental space or strong enough to be able to handle the attacks.

The worst part for me is the attacks have been from other girls (Pretending to be guys) not the guys themselves. I am not saying in the past I have not traded slaps with some of the girls. But the attacks from one girl in particular (Not mentioning names) has been relentless. So much so I stopped most of my online persona for a time. Then when I decided to come back, I did so staying away from this forum because of her.

It hurts that someone has that much power over your life that one post, one comment and it sends you running in hiding. Not because it has any merit but because I could not defend myself. That someone is that vindictive and patty that they would use the most painful experience of your life against you. Not once or twice but nonstop for years. Then they get away with it and there is nothing I can do to protect or defend myself. Watching them hide behind their computer typing out lie after lie and again I had no way to protect myself. I had no one of pinpointing who it was. But those things have a way of coming out. I also found strength within myself to know that I was the one giving the power to hurt me. I am the one who had to take that power back and I have.

For me reading this post made me feel safe that maybe things might change. That now I have some protection from this person and anyone else who tries to provide people with very untrue information about me and my life. For those who will try to use the faults of others as a way to attempt to hurt me. For the person who used something that was public and not once did I hide from or deny. They would post their own beliefs as truths when they had no idea the true facts. They tried to tell my story when they were not even in my life to know my story.

This once was a place I felt at home, safe, respected and part of a community of likeminded individuals. Today I am not worried about the haters and people who want to post or talk about me. Bring it on. Because today I have real support and confidence in my life. Today I have that million dollar saying to protect myself ?proof is in the pudding? 100% concrete proof that what this person has been saying for so many years is 100% untrue. Today I have a way of fighting back and I will without question fight back against anyone who tries to use my past against me or tries to stand in the way of my dreams.

Sunshine. Thank you so much for posting this information and giving me the feeling of protection to post once again.

[Locomotion]

We all miss you Tasha, and if it's any comfort, most of us long time members take comments made by most of these losers with a grain of salt. Your reputation precedes you.

in Sunshine's case, she is already well known as a very good provider with a stellar reputation. She also contributes very intelligent posts so is probably well educated. I don't think there's many here who take some random troll"s words as gospel truth. He's obviously just some wing nut in search of some excitement in his sad, pathetic little life by using trash talk. He gets his way with his mommy and expects the same treatment from others. A true mamas boy.

Just ignore the assholes girls, majority of the people here are decent people who realize this is BS.

CHEERS!

I had to really think if I wanted to post on this topic more so on this forum at all. If you have noticed I have not posted, commented or really even logged in for a very long time. This is because of this very topic. This has been the only forum I have been a member of where I have been the victim of bullying with no course of action to protect myself. Where negative untrue posts have remained for days on end for the world to see. It was devastating to me and my life. I was not in the right mental space or strong enough to be able to handle the attacks.

The worst part for me is the attacks have been from other girls (Pretending to be guys) not the guys themselves. I am not saying in the past I have not traded slaps with some of the girls. But the attacks from one girl in particular (Not mentioning names) has been relentless. So much so I stopped most of my online persona for a time. Then when I decided to come back, I did so staying away from this forum because of her.

It hurts that someone has that much power over your life that one post, one comment and it sends you running in hiding. Not because it has any merit but because I could not defend myself. That someone is that vindictive and patty that they would use the most painful experience of your life against you. Not once or twice but nonstop for years. Then they get away with it and there is nothing I can do to protect or defend myself. Watching them hide behind their computer typing out lie after lie and again I had no way to protect myself. I had no one of pinpointing who it was. But those things have a way of coming out. I also found strength within myself to know that I was the one giving the power to hurt me. I am the one who had to take that power back and I have.

For me reading this post made me feel safe that maybe things might change. That now I have some protection from this person and anyone else who tries to provide people with very untrue information about me and my life. For those who will try to use the faults of others as a way to attempt to hurt me. For the person who used something that was public and not once did I hide from or deny. They would post their own beliefs as truths when they had no idea the true facts. They tried to tell my story when they were not even in my life to know my story.

This once was a place I felt at home, safe, respected and part of a community of likeminded individuals. Today I am not worried about the haters and people who want to post or talk about me. Bring it on. Because today I have real support and confidence in my life. Today I have that million dollar saying to protect myself “proof is in the pudding” 100% concrete proof that what this person has been saying for so many years is 100% untrue. Today I have a way of fighting back and I will without question fight back against anyone who tries to use my past against me or tries to stand in the way of my dreams.

Sunshine. Thank you so much for posting this information and giving me the feeling of protection to post once again.

[sunshine]

Similar stories

I had to really think if I wanted to post on this topic more so on this forum at all. If you have noticed I have not posted, commented or really even logged in for a very long time. This is because of this very topic. This has been the only forum I have been a member of where I have been the victim of bullying with no course of action to protect myself. Where negative untrue posts have remained for days on end for the world to see. It was devastating to me and my life. I was not in the right mental space or strong enough to be able to handle the attacks.

The worst part for me is the attacks have been from other girls (Pretending to be guys) not the guys themselves. I am not saying in the past I have not traded slaps with some of the girls. But the attacks from one girl in particular (Not mentioning names) has been relentless. So much so I stopped most of my online persona for a time. Then when I decided to come back, I did so staying away from this forum because of her.

It hurts that someone has that much power over your life that one post, one comment and it sends you running in hiding. Not because it has any merit but because I could not defend myself. That someone is that vindictive and patty that they would use the most painful experience of your life against you. Not once or twice but nonstop for years. Then they get away with it and there is nothing I can do to protect or defend myself. Watching them hide behind their computer typing out lie after lie and again I had no way to protect myself. I had no one of pinpointing who it was. But those things have a way of coming out. I also found strength within myself to know that I was the one giving the power to hurt me. I am the one who had to take that power back and I have.

For me reading this post made me feel safe that maybe things might change. That now I have some protection from this person and anyone else who tries to provide people with very untrue information about me and my life. For those who will try to use the faults of others as a way to attempt to hurt me. For the person who used something that was public and not once did I hide from or deny. They would post their own beliefs as truths when they had no idea the true facts. They tried to tell my story when they were not even in my life to know my story.

This once was a place I felt at home, safe, respected and part of a community of likeminded individuals. Today I am not worried about the haters and people who want to post or talk about me. Bring it on. Because today I have real support and confidence in my life. Today I have that million dollar saying to protect myself ?proof is in the pudding? 100% concrete proof that what this person has been saying for so many years is 100% untrue. Today I have a way of fighting back and I will without question fight back against anyone who tries to use my past against me or tries to stand in the way of my dreams.

Sunshine. Thank you so much for posting this information and giving me the feeling of protection to post once again.

Thanks for letting us know how you feel, Tasha. I've heard what went on behind the scenes in your misadventure and it made me angry to see a few evil people bully you and for the matter to continue so long.

I consulted a lawyer and private investigator recently about this issue of cyberbullying. I am told that depending on the specific nature of what is posted, several laws may intervene to right the matter. I asked: How do we find out who this person is? The answer surprised me. A lawyer can issue a Cease and Desist Order and it can be sent to the bully's online persona. If the bully continues, the lawyer and private investigator can find out who this person is and the matter can be taken to court. The final advice I received was to keep a copy of the offensive material. All this costs money but I have the financial means to do it.

Of course, if the matter can be settled by the site moderators or administrators, there's no point in doing any of the above.

I agree that the bullying rarely comes from clients directly. I am certain jealous Tgirls are behind it. We even know who they are, don't we? There's only a few of them. This isn't a widespread habit - the great majority of Tgirls amicable and supportive of their sisters. Therefore, I feel we ought to strive to expose them whenever we have proof of their involvement. Like Alexis says, exposing the bully publicly usually puts an end to the bullying. Most importantly, if we stand together, the bully doesn't have a chance.

More and more, I want peace more than anything. I've had enough of bullies goading me into anger. It ends now.

Sunshine

[sunshine]

Thanks

Thanks Alex and Locomotion. It's nice to hear confirmation that these comments are seen for what they are by the readers of the forum. It still hurts though when bullying happens. That's why I started this thread - to bring attention to the practice and beginning a dialogue about ending it.

Sunshine

[Tasha Jones RIP]

Sadly everyone heard tons of rumors of what was going on behind the scenes. That was the hard part for me. Anyone who knew me personally knew the truth. But even then those who did not know me or thought about me no matter how untrue they were. They still questioned if it was true or not. Do not get me wrong, I had tons of support. But it did not make it easier to deal with or to defend myself. Again, knowing now that I have the power and the law on my side gave me a huge peace of mind. Knowing I can unmask those hiding behind fake accounts is something I have wanted for years.

But thank god I am in a different place in my life where people like that have no power and cannot hurt me any longer.

[Shyla Wild]

Sadly everyone heard tons of rumors of what was going on behind the scenes. That was the hard part for me. Anyone who knew me personally knew the truth. But even then those who did not know me or thought about me no matter how untrue they were. They still questioned if it was true or not. Do not get me wrong, I had tons of support. But it did not make it easier to deal with or to defend myself. Again, knowing now that I have the power and the law on my side gave me a huge peace of mind. Knowing I can unmask those hiding behind fake accounts is something I have wanted for years.

But thank god I am in a different place in my life where people like that have no power and cannot hurt me any longer.

I remember when this happened. The phone calls from your end were incredible. The same person attacked me and I remember speaking to you when it happened to me. She has the ability to hit you when you are down, which she did to you during your darkest time and like she did to me 2 years previous. I was recovering from my breast implant surgery, was black and blue, on painkillers, could barely sit up and I had to deal with both a Twitter, Facebook and text message attack. My advice to you was the exactly what I did. I took the evidence and filed a report with the police resulting in an arrest warrant being issued in Montreal for her actions.

I am really happy to see that you are up and about again, congrats on your TEA nomination.

All the best!