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The Navy decides to give away retirement packages. They decide to give to 1000$ for every inch that can be measured on your body.
Seaman walks into the nurses office, and asks her to measure from his feet to his head. 72" and the seaman gets 72,000$ to retire.
Next a Captain comes in. Being smarter than the seaman he stands on his tippy toes and stretches his arms above his head and tells the nurse to measure from his toes to the tip on his fingers. 110" gets the Captain a nice retirement package of 110,000$.
Last man of the day walks in. It's an old Admiral. He looks at the nurse and hollers, "Measure from the tip of my penis to my balls". The Nurse looks at him puzzled and tells him that she does not know how profitable that would be. This upsets the Admiral, and he tells her to shut her mouth and measure.
She smirks and begins to measure but stops suddenly and screams,"OH MY GOD!! WHERE ARE YOUR BALLS?!?!"
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