Mutual attraction - important or superfluous?

[xoxJanexox]

I appreciate these words, Just. I didn't really have any other way of conveying my thoughts and feelings on this matter. So it's nice to know this was a solid place to turn to. For my part, having read everyone's thoughts, I can appreciate that attraction comes in various forms and I TOTALLY get that it's not the job of the provider to be attracted to her clients. From a consumer standpoint, this isn't like buying a TV to me. I want the lady I'm with to enjoy my company and my time and, IMHO, that starts with not finding me repulsive. I don't think I could enjoy the experience at all if I could tell a woman wasn't into me...regardless of if she's trans or not. Just who I am. Thanks for letting me express as much. Cheers.

You're not getting the point. There's absolutely no way that you could tell that a professional provider isn't into you! We see all kinds of people that we wouldn't even glimpse at in a night club or while walking in a shopping mall. That's why we demand high dollar for an hour of our time. A professional provider would treat her clients with respect and dignity as long as they are respectful and hygienic etc. You're raising the bar for yourself and the expectations from this lifestyle. You're in a business of creating illusion, and to couple that with real attraction, is ludicrous myth.

[JamieGirl]

OK so Girls gotta' work.

I suppose that's all true. I guess I just care. I enjoy making people happy and can't imagine ever having sex with someone I wasn't attracted to. It's human nature to me to want intimacy with what you are attracted to so I suppose I'd enjoy it more knowing that I was attractive to the provider. But yea, I understand the boundaries of the business transaction part of this and agree that, from a provider standpoint, it probably doesn't matter. Gotta keep the trains moving on time, regardless of how they look. I get it. I was just curious. Thank you for your tactful words, Jamie. =)

Look. Working girls are gonna' work. Part of it is making you feel special and if you are clean and not a dickhead, to a working girl then you are a good customer and hopefully a repeat customer. I have been a working girl before in both capacities and even a bar girl. Sure we are gonna' make you feel important but in the end you may be a really sweet guy and we may really care about you but you are a customer/client. Maybe one we would like to see again and again but still a customer/client.

OK let me put it like this. when I was a bargirl in Korea there was guys that would come in and buy drink after drink for me. Expensive drinks. That made my living two I would charge to take home to my apartment and sleep with and one I never charged because he was my boyfriend I lived with him. I made a living and my weekday job wasn't cutting it. I cared for all of them. The ones that bought me drinks and the ones that I charged to sleep with me. I cared for them and genuinely cared if they had a bad day or week. But it was business. I loved my boyfriend that I had an intimate relationship with. Sex and company can be a business and you can be friends and care about business associates. You are still friends and we really do care about you but we have a totally different life than what you may insinuate. Does that make sense?

OK You are more than just a business associate. I mean you are fucking me for God's sake, number one and you are paying me and making my living, number two. So you may not be my lover and the love of my life but we are still sort of friends in a way.

Look baby. If you want to meet a trans woman that you can love and that will love you then find a cub or bar where we congregate in. Find a place or area that mostly LGBT frequent and have at it. The movie Pretty Woman is kind of like porn. It is fantasy and far fetched.

Seriously though. Do you know how many trans women are out there? Quite a few. Now whether they suffer crippling gender dysphoria is another story. But you should be able to tell that in the first ten minutes. I mean I act shy but I am not. I will flirt back and laugh and so on but still act shy. If she acts too shy then I really don't know. All I know is me.

[Jmatthew]

I say it's not crucial to have a good time, as most providers enjoy what they do. But it does make good sex great. Ever have sex with someone who seems indifferent? Or like they are not attracted to you but are doing anyway? It makes the experience seem like you just jerked off. (Edit: its happened to me but we both got what we wanted in the end, sort of)

So you can do two things. Keep trying different providers until you find one that you like. Build a rapport.

To say it doesn't matter is way off. The best sex I've had with providers is with ones who were mutually attracted. It's hot to see them enjoying it. But I only found this out by trying. Maybe it doesn't matter to some people but the fact that you're asking means it does.

I don't think he's looking for someone to be attracted to him to the point they want to date or something like that.

[xoxJanexox]

To say it doesn't matter is way off. The best sex I've had with providers is with ones who were mutually attracted. It's hot to see them enjoying it. But I only found this out by trying. Maybe it doesn't matter to some people but the fact that you're asking means it does.

You guys are living the illusion of attraction. Put it to the test, go visit the providers you claimed to have been mutually attracted to you without your wallet and you would realize how attractive you are!

[Jmatthew]

There's a lot to be said for a good acting. Which reinforces the fact that mutual attraction is, well, attractive.

Best thing to do is meet and feel out the situation if you can. Because there are some bad actors out there.

[Jmatthew]

Out of the 15 or so providers I have met, two have been mutually attracted genuinely. Which led to repeat visits and good times. Some were great actors and the experience was still excellent. A couple were I might as well have stayed home experiences.

[xoxJanexox]

Out of the 15 or so providers I have met, two have been mutually attracted genuinely. Which led to repeat visits and good times. Some were great actors and the experience was still excellent. A couple were I might as well have stayed home experiences.

There's a lot to be said for a good acting. Which reinforces the fact that mutual attraction is, well, attractive.

Best thing to do is meet and feel out the situation if you can. Because there are some bad actors out there.

The natural way to debunk a myth is by following its utterer to the end! Now, you had excellent experiences with 'great actors' and by the same token they are bad actors which must be avoided!

And the detective you're had two (out of 15) providers genuinely attracted to you. How would you know if they were genuinely attracted or simply more advanced actors?i Did you put it to the test and went to them with an empty pocket and proved their genuineness.

[Jmatthew]

Lol no. It's hard to tell the degree of mutual attractiveness the OP is looking for. He did say that he doesn't want them to be repulsed. And also that he want them to be attracted. He didn't say in love or a girlfriend. It's easy to tell if someone is genuinely attracted to you to this degree within the first few minutes without them even saying anything. I mean I've had enough interactions with perfect strangers where no money is involved to intuit this.

You can also tell the actors. They may not be attracted per se (that is they show no signs of being genuinely attracted) but they aren't repulsed so they provide a good time.

The bad actors are the ones that make you wish you stayed home and rubbed one out. Maybe I had a stray nose hair or my style turned them off.

Are you saying a provider can't find me attractive? I'm saying they can and if you have social skills you can tell what is genuine and what is pretend.

(By acting I'm not referring to fake sex screems like porn acting.)

[Jmatthew]

Now, you had excellent experiences with 'great actors' and by the same token they are bad actors which must be avoided!

I never said these were the same people.

[Jmatthew]

Of course I didn't ask them to spend time with me without paying. I'm not looking for a girlfriend and they're not looking for a boyfriend. Just asking that would be a turn off and ruin it. I'm not delusional and I don't think that's what the OP is looking for. They can still find me attractive.

[xoxJanexox]

Of course I didn't ask them to spend time with me without paying. I'm not looking for a girlfriend and they're not looking for a boyfriend. Just asking that would be a turn off and ruin it. I'm not delusional and I don't think that's what the OP is looking for. They can still find me attractive.

You're the legend of all delusionists! Then what kind of attractiveness you're trying to validate here? The one akin to your mom/sister telling you the biggest lie of your life that you're good looking!

But I give you the credit of not committing a suicide with a provider thus far by asking her to spend time with you without paying. That would be a new level of whole different mental suffering.

[Jmatthew]

I was enjoying the conversation here before my mom got involved. Lol

You left a question unanswered. I'm trying to see where you're coming from. Can a provider find a client attractive? Additionally, Would I be able to tell she found me attractive? Is this a reasonable prerequisite for the OP to have? I think the answer to all of the above is Yes. Have you ever found a client attractive? If yes, then you see where I'm coming from. If no then I see why you think it isn't possible.

I think the best way for him to determine if there is mutual attraction is simply to meet. But be prepared for there not to be, and try again with someone else. Maybe in a club setting where you can have a non committed conversation as someone else mentioned but that can require a greater time commitment.

[Jmatthew]

You're the legend of all delusionists! Then what kind of attractiveness you're trying to validate here? The one akin to your mom/sister telling you the biggest lie of your life that you're good looking!

But I give you the credit of not committing a suicide with a provider thus far by asking her to spend time with you without paying. That would be a new level of whole different mental suffering.

The delusion would be thinking that asking them to take money out of the equation when that is the arrangement is acceptable.

[xoxJanexox]

The delusion would be thinking that asking them to take money out of the equation when that is the arrangement is acceptable.

I was enjoying the conversation here before my mom got involved. Lol

You left a question unanswered. I'm trying to see where you're coming from. Can a provider find a client attractive? Additionally, Would I be able to tell she found me attractive? Is this a reasonable prerequisite for the OP to have? I think the answer to all of the above is Yes. Have you ever found a client attractive? If yes, then you see where I'm coming from. If no then I see why you think it isn't possible.

I think the best way for him to determine if there is mutual attraction is simply to meet. But be prepared for there not to be, and try again with someone else. Maybe in a club setting where you can have a non committed conversation as someone else mentioned but that can require a greater time commitment.

The delusion is building a foundation of mutual attraction absent validation except the best judgement of the same partisan individual who benefits from the creation and maintenance of that delusional state.

Yes, try a club or a shopping mall setting and approach a t-girl there and gauge your attractiveness accordingly. But when you arrive to her door with a pile of cash never speak about attraction. Keep that word to when you pass the real life test. And BTW, it doesn't require time commitment, simply real attractiveness!

[PrinceVegeta]

Aside from the therapist psychobabble, I think it's fairly split down the middle on this thread as to whether or not it matters or should matter. I guess I'll use my best judgment and be myself. Cheers.