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Haven't been on in a few and the people who have sent me PMs I'm sorry if I haven't replied, have been really busy with school, trying to get to you guys in Toronto, and the personal Drama in my life.
I have to say this and I don't care who tells, who talks , and who is messy afterwards, I'm just real and I want to be open with my life I have nothing to hide and a lot of things on my mind. Since most of you like to voice your opinion, I'm open about your opinion on this Topic. Well I'm in an abusive relationship, I have no idea how to let go, and get away. He was the reason of me being in Canada, promising me he would help me go to school, and get surgeries for me, I'm young so I was thinking I had nothing to loose.I lived in Hollywood, just getting by as a personal secretary for a gay clothing store I was just fresh out of high school. The money I had for school my dad took away because of my life style along with the relationship and ties with him and the family. I was out in the cold so LA was my savior, I made it instantly. I don't know but I have always had problems with men. Men are my weakness and probably my only real fought. I let them in and in control and always lose. All my realtionships have been abusive, maybe because that's all I know, my father, uncles all mean and cruel men. Men of authority is my weakness, and all the men in my life were either a cop like my dad, firemen or men that can make a difference men of well-standing. Maybe I have a problem or maybe my nightmares at night of my childhood still hunt me. Anyway I moved here because of a man actually, and he made thousandsof dollars off of me doing escort. Basically pimped me to it told me that he couldn't afford my schooling of my boob job so he told me I had to work for it and set me up with some people in the sex industry.Be if he loved me so much how could he let me do escort?How could he abuse my mind and body that I work so hard to keep up? MAybe I'm blind to say I love him when he treat me so dirty. Everytime his fist strike my face I ask myself is the reason why he treat me like this is because he has feelings for me and really care, and me being a shemale is hard for him to love me when our world is so hateful and mean.Seems, like the cops don't do anything here as many times as they have came to the his house because of us fighting and they never did anything to him but says things to me. Even if I tell them the truth they ignore everything he does, but if I yell of scream it's called (disturbing the peace) and I can get ship back to the STATES. When he use to tie me up and force me to have sex with him I thought back as a child with my dad how he tortured me, and me to scared to run away, and to weak to tell. I lost everything here, because of him money, clothes, and etc.., and I had to start all over again,I'm paying for school, I bought my breast, and pay the rent for the place I stay at now after he kicked me out on the streets of Montreal with nowhere to go, but why do I still care for him? He always comes back and it feels like I'm taking care of him when he is not my responsibility. I'm scared to leave, and just runaway, he might just find me, I have no idea what to do. My spirit is so low right now, and I have a sense of no self worth, no dignity. He comes to my place like he owns it and I let him because of my weakness, my fought,me not as strong when it comes to men of authority., but that's the men I like my preference, but I like to still be dominant at times as well. We still fight alot and I had to get my nose fix twice since I been here. Everytime he comes around I ask myself what in the hell did I see in him, Yes he is a cop but he has nothing, he's a loser. I was the best thing that ever happen to him I cooked, I cleaned, I washed his dirty ass underwear, I let him have sex anyway he wanted, and I even let a woman (GG) in our bed. Now I'm sitting at my home alone with a possible stalker, and in my heart I know it is not healthy for me, but what am I to do. That was the real whole reason to come to Toronto, to escape for a little be myself and not what he created me to be, what it your opinion?
I have to say this and I don't care who tells, who talks , and who is messy afterwards, I'm just real and I want to be open with my life I have nothing to hide and a lot of things on my mind. Since most of you like to voice your opinion, I'm open about your opinion on this Topic. Well I'm in an abusive relationship, I have no idea how to let go, and get away. He was the reason of me being in Canada, promising me he would help me go to school, and get surgeries for me, I'm young so I was thinking I had nothing to loose.I lived in Hollywood, just getting by as a personal secretary for a gay clothing store I was just fresh out of high school. The money I had for school my dad took away because of my life style along with the relationship and ties with him and the family. I was out in the cold so LA was my savior, I made it instantly. I don't know but I have always had problems with men. Men are my weakness and probably my only real fought. I let them in and in control and always lose. All my realtionships have been abusive, maybe because that's all I know, my father, uncles all mean and cruel men. Men of authority is my weakness, and all the men in my life were either a cop like my dad, firemen or men that can make a difference men of well-standing. Maybe I have a problem or maybe my nightmares at night of my childhood still hunt me. Anyway I moved here because of a man actually, and he made thousandsof dollars off of me doing escort. Basically pimped me to it told me that he couldn't afford my schooling of my boob job so he told me I had to work for it and set me up with some people in the sex industry.Be if he loved me so much how could he let me do escort?How could he abuse my mind and body that I work so hard to keep up? MAybe I'm blind to say I love him when he treat me so dirty. Everytime his fist strike my face I ask myself is the reason why he treat me like this is because he has feelings for me and really care, and me being a shemale is hard for him to love me when our world is so hateful and mean.Seems, like the cops don't do anything here as many times as they have came to the his house because of us fighting and they never did anything to him but says things to me. Even if I tell them the truth they ignore everything he does, but if I yell of scream it's called (disturbing the peace) and I can get ship back to the STATES. When he use to tie me up and force me to have sex with him I thought back as a child with my dad how he tortured me, and me to scared to run away, and to weak to tell. I lost everything here, because of him money, clothes, and etc.., and I had to start all over again,I'm paying for school, I bought my breast, and pay the rent for the place I stay at now after he kicked me out on the streets of Montreal with nowhere to go, but why do I still care for him? He always comes back and it feels like I'm taking care of him when he is not my responsibility. I'm scared to leave, and just runaway, he might just find me, I have no idea what to do. My spirit is so low right now, and I have a sense of no self worth, no dignity. He comes to my place like he owns it and I let him because of my weakness, my fought,me not as strong when it comes to men of authority., but that's the men I like my preference, but I like to still be dominant at times as well. We still fight alot and I had to get my nose fix twice since I been here. Everytime he comes around I ask myself what in the hell did I see in him, Yes he is a cop but he has nothing, he's a loser. I was the best thing that ever happen to him I cooked, I cleaned, I washed his dirty ass underwear, I let him have sex anyway he wanted, and I even let a woman (GG) in our bed. Now I'm sitting at my home alone with a possible stalker, and in my heart I know it is not healthy for me, but what am I to do. That was the real whole reason to come to Toronto, to escape for a little be myself and not what he created me to be, what it your opinion?
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