"People R Always Judging Me 4 My Over The Top Style 4 Being A Shemale"

[Barbie_Swallows]

Fuck, I don't even know when to start or to begin, but this has been bugging me for the longest time. I'm so fucking sick and tired of being heavily critisizied by alot of people telling me, oh barbie, why don't u look more like a real girl... Stop the big eye lashes, and the crazy contact lenses, and the very long nails, and the big plat form 6 inchs "spice girls style" boots, wigs, heavy makeup. Basically i get harassed cause my style is not conservitive, and that i am FAR from it! I get treated like shit about everything from head to toe. Oh Barbie I see your 5 o'clock shadow... I'm like well i'm getting older now, and i do go twice a month to lazer hair removal on my face. I stoped estrgoen hormone pills due to negative side effects ( weight gain, crying everyday, no erections or sperms, mood swings, sleeping all day )....

Anyways, I'm so fucking fed up with people, i'm getting so frusterated. I am constantly being judged by my over exaggerating DRAG QUEEN style for a shemale ( boobs & tits ). I tried the natural look before, i just hate it, its not my style at all, i find it very boring to look like every girl or tranny. So if that happens to make me look like a drag queen, then so be it. I'm just so annoyed, i get harassed alot of my over the top style for being a transsexual. People ask me, are u trying to even look like a real girl or a shemale. I reply back saying whatever makes me feel confortable. I always love looking like a chick, a real girl, just a bit of twist, wild style u know, hair, makeup, clothes, i just don't feel the need to get a sex change operation and get a pussy. I feel perfectly fine with me penis.

That's right, i feel comfortable being a Ladyboy, Shemale, Half & Half. I just get discrimated alot from alot of people, well since u got boobs now, why don't u get more of a real girl's name, instead of Barbie. Or wear high hells and a mini dress/skirt. My style is mostly pants, that's what i enjoy, i do sometimes wear a short cut dress, but that's when i was alot slimmer, which i had alot more confidence in myself. When u gain wieght, its very hard to wear the same sexy outfits u used to wear 6yrs. ago. u know, i'm turning 26yrs.old this up-cuming june 16th, 2OO8. So I'm not getting any younger. I'm not making an exscuse for it, just expressing who i am and what I'm going through right now in my life.

Long story short, some guy tonight hurted my feelings tonight when he invited me over his place. He kept talking about my drag queen apperance, kept telling me to tone it down, if u want to be treated like a real girl. I told him i find it boring looking like a plane jane bitch. My style is very Pamela ANderson, she's over the top in her vip shows and barb wire movie... Trannys lover her style. I told him, that the majority of transsexuals look over the top, cartoonish, stripper, sexual, drag queenish. But apparently in BRAZIL its different down there the culture, the shemales down there look like a real girl, u can't tell that its a guy. So basically he was comparing me with those t-girls.

Oh my fucking god! He was like u should wear day time makeup, and wear less makeup, more natural, and u get treated more like a "REAL" girl. Otherwise, you'll be getting treated like a man with a wig that got fake tits. I found him very rude. But he's also very straight forward and blunt just like i am. Apparently he was just pissed off at me cause i bragged i had a 3some with him and a stripper and everybody in the club was talking about it in the club. So big deal, if i love talking about it. Guys do it all the time, when they fuck a girl, they brag and tell there buddies, oh yea i fucked that bitch, she was easy, blah blah blah.

So when a girl talks about it or brags, she's consider a fucking slut and a bitch and a wortheless fucking piece of shit garbage! I'm feeling very depressed right now, and sad. I'm sick and tired constantly being judged oh my style of not looking like a "REAL girl" , tone it down barbie if u want people to take u serious. I'm like WTF!?!?! Anyways he's probally said all these things just to get back at me, then again, alot of people judge me on my drag queenish style, and not acting feminie or like a real girl. It hurt my feelings u know. Why do people judge u so much when ur in the public eye, and more so when ur a female in society? Feel free to give me some advice please. I don't know what else to say. Usually when i hear those negative coments it makes me feel like shit, like i just wanna die or kill myself, or like i'm not even human or consider to even be a shemale, cause i don't act the part or dress or look it. Any other trannys had similar experiences? Anyways I'm done now... Later!

B@rbie Swallows

[qwertyuio]

I think you're just hanging around with the wrong people, Barbie. If the people in your life are unwilling to accept you for what you are, then why do you let them in your life? Life's too short for that bullshit. The important thing is to be happy with yourself.

These people are assholes. I'm sure you know that, but ask yourself: Why are you letting these assholes' opinions effect you? If they don't like you, you're better off without them. Just walk out. If they want to talk about you behind your back, let them. As long as you're proud of what you are, why does it matter? It still hurts, I know, but in the long run you're better off.

It may take time to find people who will accept you, but try to be patient. The only way to go about it is trial and error.

[Andrew69]

I find if you treat people with respect they are more likely to treat you with respect.

[snoodle]

Maybe you should move to Montreal Barbie. We have alot of Drag Queens here and everyone loves them. Maybe people are less judgemental here.

[shy_girl2]

First of all, thank you for sharing your emotions on this forum. It is heartbreaking to see someone like you treated badly by society just because you are expressing yourself differently in which not considered normal according to societal standards.
There is nothing wrong with being yourself. It is your prerogative to act, dress or behave the way you do. On the otherhand, the society we live in is full of hatred and judgements towards people who are different and unique. It is considered weird and freaky to encounter a transwoman like you who dressed differently than normal everyday girl like most women.
My advice is that you should consider your options. If you are happy the way you are, do not change to please others. Your happiness is far more important than the prejudice society that does nothing but criticize people like us. That being said, people who are shallow and narrow minded will not understand your own style and will constantly say negative things about you. I say weight your own option and maybe toning down a little bit would help you find your own place on this hypocritical society. Moreover, stating that Pamle Anderson is your inspiration with your style. Keep in mind that Pamela is an ordinary everyday girl when she is not doing a television stint or gig. She has been seen walking around Hollywood with no make up and wearing jeans, flat shoes and normal t-shirt. Hope this helps Barbie and goodluck.

[lp]

stating that Pamle Anderson is your inspiration with your style. Keep in mind that Pamela is an ordinary everyday girl when she is not doing a television stint or gig. She has been seen walking around Hollywood with no make up and wearing jeans, flat shoes and normal t-shirt. Hope this helps Barbie and goodluck.[/quote] very very well said

[coolguy]

barbie you are a sweetie..dont listen to these people.
they have no clue cheer up

[Barbie_Swallows]

Thank u everyone for ur advice. Yes when i am in my own area, i do dress very normal, very low key, no makeup, casual clothes ect if i'm going 7/11 or mcdonalds, in my own area, cause sometimes it annoys me getting attention all the time u know. I only dress over the top when i go to clubs on the weekends, or when i am going shopping downtown, but since i live in east york (don mills & overlea) I try to look as normal as possible, but strangly people still stare and talk i noticed. My friend Jennifer told me, she's like u stick out like a sore thumb dolled up or not. I'm starting to believe that, lol. Pamela Anderson, Amanda Lepore, Marilyn Manson, all inspired me with my style.

Anyways, i shouldn't listen to him, he's a 4Oyrs. old man who is old fashion and backwards thats all. He's just pissed off cause the stripper wanted me with sexual desires and only wanted him for his money and drugs probally. He was telling me all this wierd shit saying he knows all these famous celebrities, and that he's friends with them such as Oprah, Bill Clinton, Madonna's x-husband, WTF??! Hard to believe what he says, he seems all talk and no action. I should have left his place right away when i was getting critisized about my style.

He later noticed i wasn't talking much, so he started acting phony and giving me compliments, saying i like ur boobs and ur real hair makes u look more like a real woman, and ur face look more feminie tonight then the last time u were here. Fuck, I find it so annoying, i should have left, but i stayed cause i was horny, and wanted to have sex with the stripper at his place, which i already had for ur information, lol. You'll always find haters out there, some people will love u, and some people won't. I learned that u gotta accept urself and be happy, and fuck whatever other people say about u. Cause I had others that told me they like my style.

B@rbie Swallows

[JAY_SAUGA]

your hella fine barbie...lower your price abit and i'll come make you feel better about yourself

[markerverse]

Barbie -Your Self Image

Your personal self assessment and the impact the words of others have on you were, at the very least, brutally frank. You obviously had much on your mind that is/was troubling you.

If it's worth anything you may wish to consider a portion of the following, designed to help you deal with unpleasantness and re-establish your self worth.

Depression most often latches on to us when our bodily and mental safe guards are at their weakest. Over and repeated indulgence in alcohol and stronger altering narcotics are major contributors to the lessening of our natural defences. Thus, we are vulnerable to all sorts of encounters we believe (wrongly) are threatening. Our normal reasoning powers are all but none existent. The slightest act or comment, while we are in this confused state, can trigger a 'raging and uncontrolled reaction'.

I'd be pleased to share more information aimed at your regaining your self respect,dignity, and self esteem. But at the risk of my boring you with unsolicited and unwelcomed commentary;your wishes would be appreciated.

Keep focused and take care of yourself.