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TransMission: Identity vs. Identification
by Nikki S, Transgender Columnist
The line stretches around the corner of the office, and moves predictably slowly; like most government bureaus, efficiency is the least of their concerns. However, I wait patiently in line, trying to contain my excitement.
I glance around at the other people in the Ministry of Transportation office, trying to guess why they?re here. The lady behind me with her obnoxious two-year-old seems like she?s just updating her sticker, and can?t get out of there soon enough. The elderly gentleman in front of me is quietly reciting the letters on the eye chart, in hopes that he can prove his eyesight is clear enough to retain his license. And then there?s the impatient yuppie at the back of the line, complaining about having to smog-test his Porsche.
I smile, because my business is of an entirely different nature. I?m not here for a license renewal, sticker, or smog test ? these concerns seem downright trivial by comparison. This is a major rite of passage for me, an experience that every transsexual yearns for; I am preparing to receive my first official, government-issued, female ID.
I?ve read the web page hundreds of times, so I know exactly what to bring with me. I have a letter to the MTO, indicating my request for a permanent change to my gender designation. I have a letter from my doctor, who verifies that the change is appropriate. I have my legal name change form, my vehicle ownership, and my old driver?s license. Finally, I have a printout of the MTO web page, explaining the MTO?s policy on Gender Designation Change.
Found here: http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/dan...nderchange.htm
Finally, I reach the front of the line, and approach the girl at the counter. She?s obviously a temp, on summer vacation from high school; she?s disinterested and eagerly awaiting her lunch break. She looks up at me, bored look on her face, and asks me in that bureaucratic monotone where all the words seem to run together, ?hi-how-can-I-help-you. ?
Excited, yet relaxed, I hand the pile of papers to the girl, with the MTO page on top. I smile, and say, ?I?d like to get this change processed, please.? I watch, slightly amused, as she reads the Gender Designation Change web page, blinks twice, and looks up at me, face filled with surprise. She looks back at the page, back up at me, back at the page, and calls her supervisor over to the desk.
The supervisor walks over, with the same bored look on her face. She reads over the top page, and gives me a double-take of her own; then, she flips through the rest of the paperwork, trying to balance her surprise and confusion with her desire to maintain a professional demeanour. When they finally see the picture on my now-ancient license, both their jaws drop to the floor, and the temp nearly falls out of her chair.
Moments like these used to feel awkward and uncomfortable; I?ve never met any transsexual who enjoys ?outing? themselves, particularly in a government office or public place. However, I?ve found that, no matter how awkward it feels for me, it?s usually much harder for the person I?m dealing with. Most people are good-natured and decent, generally tolerant and accepting, but when they?re caught by surprise, they don?t know how to react. They get flustered easily, and they?re afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. But a little bit of understanding ? in both directions ? goes a long way.
So, I lean in towards the counter, and say softly, ?look, I?m sure this isn?t the type of request you process every day, so take your time, make sure everything?s there, and we?ll get through this, ok?? I smile warmly, and both the supervisor and temp relax. The supervisor takes one more look through my documents, and says, ?Ok, everything looks good, so let?s get this taken care of.? She smiles, meeting my eyes for the first time, and walks away.
After that, the temp flies through the paperwork with a big smile, and a twinkle in her eye. She takes a new picture, gets me to sign the forms authorizing the name and gender change, and prints out a new vehicle ownership form. Finally, she prints out a new Temporary Driver?s License ? slightly different name, slightly different Driver?s License number, and very different sex designation ? an ?F? where there was once an ?M.? She tells me that I should expect the picture card within 3-6 weeks, and wishes me a wonderful afternoon.
I thank her for her patience and understanding, and wish her a nice day as well. I gather my papers, smile at her once more, and leave the MTO. My heels click loudly on the linoleum, but I feel as if I?m walking on air. It?s hard to contain the elation I feel, but I find myself making one last, frivolous wish as I walk through the door. . .
Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the lunchroom when she goes on break!
by Nikki S, Transgender Columnist
The line stretches around the corner of the office, and moves predictably slowly; like most government bureaus, efficiency is the least of their concerns. However, I wait patiently in line, trying to contain my excitement.
I glance around at the other people in the Ministry of Transportation office, trying to guess why they?re here. The lady behind me with her obnoxious two-year-old seems like she?s just updating her sticker, and can?t get out of there soon enough. The elderly gentleman in front of me is quietly reciting the letters on the eye chart, in hopes that he can prove his eyesight is clear enough to retain his license. And then there?s the impatient yuppie at the back of the line, complaining about having to smog-test his Porsche.
I smile, because my business is of an entirely different nature. I?m not here for a license renewal, sticker, or smog test ? these concerns seem downright trivial by comparison. This is a major rite of passage for me, an experience that every transsexual yearns for; I am preparing to receive my first official, government-issued, female ID.
I?ve read the web page hundreds of times, so I know exactly what to bring with me. I have a letter to the MTO, indicating my request for a permanent change to my gender designation. I have a letter from my doctor, who verifies that the change is appropriate. I have my legal name change form, my vehicle ownership, and my old driver?s license. Finally, I have a printout of the MTO web page, explaining the MTO?s policy on Gender Designation Change.
Found here: http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/dan...nderchange.htm
Finally, I reach the front of the line, and approach the girl at the counter. She?s obviously a temp, on summer vacation from high school; she?s disinterested and eagerly awaiting her lunch break. She looks up at me, bored look on her face, and asks me in that bureaucratic monotone where all the words seem to run together, ?hi-how-can-I-help-you. ?
Excited, yet relaxed, I hand the pile of papers to the girl, with the MTO page on top. I smile, and say, ?I?d like to get this change processed, please.? I watch, slightly amused, as she reads the Gender Designation Change web page, blinks twice, and looks up at me, face filled with surprise. She looks back at the page, back up at me, back at the page, and calls her supervisor over to the desk.
The supervisor walks over, with the same bored look on her face. She reads over the top page, and gives me a double-take of her own; then, she flips through the rest of the paperwork, trying to balance her surprise and confusion with her desire to maintain a professional demeanour. When they finally see the picture on my now-ancient license, both their jaws drop to the floor, and the temp nearly falls out of her chair.
Moments like these used to feel awkward and uncomfortable; I?ve never met any transsexual who enjoys ?outing? themselves, particularly in a government office or public place. However, I?ve found that, no matter how awkward it feels for me, it?s usually much harder for the person I?m dealing with. Most people are good-natured and decent, generally tolerant and accepting, but when they?re caught by surprise, they don?t know how to react. They get flustered easily, and they?re afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. But a little bit of understanding ? in both directions ? goes a long way.
So, I lean in towards the counter, and say softly, ?look, I?m sure this isn?t the type of request you process every day, so take your time, make sure everything?s there, and we?ll get through this, ok?? I smile warmly, and both the supervisor and temp relax. The supervisor takes one more look through my documents, and says, ?Ok, everything looks good, so let?s get this taken care of.? She smiles, meeting my eyes for the first time, and walks away.
After that, the temp flies through the paperwork with a big smile, and a twinkle in her eye. She takes a new picture, gets me to sign the forms authorizing the name and gender change, and prints out a new vehicle ownership form. Finally, she prints out a new Temporary Driver?s License ? slightly different name, slightly different Driver?s License number, and very different sex designation ? an ?F? where there was once an ?M.? She tells me that I should expect the picture card within 3-6 weeks, and wishes me a wonderful afternoon.
I thank her for her patience and understanding, and wish her a nice day as well. I gather my papers, smile at her once more, and leave the MTO. My heels click loudly on the linoleum, but I feel as if I?m walking on air. It?s hard to contain the elation I feel, but I find myself making one last, frivolous wish as I walk through the door. . .
Oh, how I wish I could be a fly on the wall of the lunchroom when she goes on break!
Thanks for taking the time to read my articles, and feedback is greatly appreciated.
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