So they say, but Im really not photogenic, pretty much every photo someone else has taken of me I've looked awful in, I guess because they don't know the angles that suit me. So I've come to the conclusion that I am in fact not photogenic. And I have a love/hate relationship with pics, it's like a battle everytime!

Angels...I know they have wings at times, and at others are spheres of pure light that shapeshift in the blink of the minds eye into a knight in shining armor with sword and shield to show God's warrior angel was here to chase away the darkness which surrounded me and banish this ball of bile,vomit,smoke,shit,poison,blood form that was hovering over my naked body which lay upon a bed the color of blood, while I watched all this from a 3rd person perspective, then it goes back and pure light form and like wraps around Beelzebub and they start spinning so fast, but u can tell warrior angel is one tough cookie, and then it flashes and I wake up screaming "JESUS CHRIST SAVE ME" at the top of my lungs drenched in sweat in solitary confinement even though I had never believed before and cursed the very name I now implored to aid me. Never been so terrified in all my life. I don't understand much cuz my lil bird brain can't handle all that info but I know the light is love and the dark is hate and I'm pretty sure it was Michael who came without me even asking.

I actually watched a really interesting vid the other day on the making of the lord of the rings and all the different tricks they use like distance and angles, like the scene with Gandalf and Frodo at Bilbo's house they were on the same set just with distance and angles it made Elijah Wood look hobbit size compared to Gandalf.

I guess everyone should try to create content with the mindset I can do this no problem,,then see how hard it actually is to create some quality content and give up and hence forth they shall respect creators and give credit where credit is due.

Maybe I could invest in some stuff eventually, but I don't really think it's/I'm worth all that, i just take pics here and now when I need some validation and attention, would be interested in doing some bdsm photos after my surgeries though, but with someone else that gets my angles dealing with the camera

Love/hate relationships are the most challenging no doubt. It appears that your poetic nature seems well matched to this very critical eye you possess. As for the night time experiences, I cannot honestly say that I have had such interactions. I have sleep apnea and currently use a Dream Machine (brand). I like angels though. Who doesn't like angels? Everyone should at least open themselves to the idea that creation is something everyone is capable of, to some extent. I think having a creative consultant with you when you create, is a great idea!

Yes they are quite challenging, and they seem to be a recurring theme with me, must be the bpd. Like with pics I love it when I succeed in doing a nice pic, but I hate the battling it takes to do so and seeing all the ugly pics I have to delete on the spot though they stay etched in my mind and my self esteem. Or I love it when ppl give me attention/compliments, but I hate how they make me feel guilty and deceitful, and even in person I can never completely believe them anyways.

A dream machine, that sounds neat!

Thank God I no longer have any such experiences, I used to have a lot of them but that seemed to be the grand finale. I had sleep paralysis before too, now all gone leaving mostly sweet dreamless non existence. I guess that's why I hate bed time though and love amphetamines.

Angels are just wow!

I guess everyone can create content, seems everyone but me has an onlyfans these days, as to everyone being able to create quality content that in my opinion is debatable.

A creative consultant...that could be interesting as long as I would retain artistic control. And I'd need a screen that shows me what the lens sees or else I can't know what pose looks ok.

Nailing a shot is quite the feeling. I agree. I am ruthless when it comes to deleting pics. It was difficult at first but now it's like old hat. Attention and compliments are great but don't really do anything for you in a lasting way. True, many are disingenuous. If you haven't tried a dream machine I strongly recommend it. See yet another love/hate thing here with the bed time and amphetamines. Intriguing. Definitely agree with the Onlyfans comment. Much of the content is mediocre, and very few seem to want to improve upon that. That's fine too, as in life and business the 80/20 rule applies roughly. It really comes down to whether or not you want to be in that 20%. The other factor is that many believe they are in that group already and are sadly not. I get inquiries on occasion, from content creators who are attempting (seemingly), to improve their traction and grow their brand. It's amazing how few actually follow through. Usually they continue with the same formula and experience the same results. A creative consultant only advises and has no claim to copyright, rights of usage, or any other form of control over the content. As the creator, you automatically retain all rights. See CAPIC regulation. You need to shoot a tethered setup, straight to lap top. So much easier and efficient.