A T-Girl Admirer's Four Phases

[Tia Phoenixx]

Kristopin - In short when it comes to t-girls think of short term and long term. Several will not be doing this forever (Tia has stated this several times). You need to find one who isn't doing this for the long haul and I can tell who will be. If you could put up with some short term complications, you will be set for long term success. Are you ready to make that sacrifice? I would.

Excellent comment!

[sensual_lover20]

Excellent comment!

Thanks, maybe I'll give you my personal advice sometime. For what it's worth.

[Rantsalot]

...

This article doesn't apply to everyone.

[sensual_lover20]

This article doesn't apply to everyone.

It does to you.

[kristopin]

ready to go

SL20,
on the second part, i was trying to differentiate sexual titillation compared to exploration. i guess it all starts with a thrills a thrill (long john baldry). i think once a person starts the transitional journey, i.e. first contact, then they must have had an itch they couldn't scratch. once some activites start they may find it's not for them or they may find it seems like what they have been missing.

as for the whole thread of 'phases' and of course this site it gives us a common place to express ourselves and compare experiences. having the 'phases' defined helps us to understand what is going on with ourselves and where we are with our individual transitions. of course each person may have different experiences and several of the 'phases' may not apply, it gives us a starting point to understand.

i am looking forward to continuing my journey towards myself.

[Rantsalot]

...

It does to you.

I totally disagree

[sensual_lover20]

I totally disagree

I had a feeling you would say that.

[Tia Phoenixx]

Thanks, maybe I'll give you my personal advice sometime. For what it's worth.

I would love to hear that my dear boy. Pls send me a PM

[kristopin]

short term

Kristopin - In short when it comes to t-girls think of short term and long term. Several will not be doing this forever (Tia has stated this several times). You need to find one who isn't doing this for the long haul and I can tell who will be. If you could put up with some short term complications, you will be set for long term success. Are you ready to make that sacrifice? I would.

if there was a tgirl that was interested in developing a long term relationship with me but had to do the short term and i was interested in her then it would only make sense to wait. there is always an adjustment perion in any relationship.

[shemale_patriciaM]

Longterm relationships and tgirls.....always like a soap opera.

[kristopin]

yep

Longterm relationships and tgirls.....always like a soap opera.

but what a nice scented soap.

[kristopin]

a few months later

so here we are a few months later. what things may have developed. well i have been getting educated you might say, i will let you imagine the details. recently, like this last week or so i have found myself thinking less about having sex with a tgirl and more about finding one that can love me for who i am. i have seen several posts about long term relationships and so on and how difficult that may be to accomplish. i think it is more or my turn on the "phases" or maybe i just dont have spring fever. has anyone elso gone thru this?

[sensual_lover20]

I am currently looking for a t-girl relationship. I have my eye on 2, maybe 3. If it doesn't pan out then it is off to Thailand/Phillipines or revert back to the GG world.

[kristopin]

my favs

I am currently looking for a t-girl relationship. I have my eye on 2, maybe 3. If it doesn't pan out then it is off to Thailand/Phillipines or revert back to the GG world.

good luck

[kristopin]

some months later

this is a very interesting post, i'd like to address it more fully.
first i think we have to understand ourselves as males and also our ages.
i think that most of us would agree that as men we are first of all visually attracted to our sexual partners. it like the primal drive to keep the tribe strong and powerful. we seek someone that can help us keep our hierachy in the tribe, so visual is the first turn on. as modern men we may not like the idea but its what we do. the difference is that today we may want to get to know a person first, but visual is what attracts us first.
second i think we have to look at age interms of the social envirn we grew up in. in the 50's maybe thru 70's gays were not talked about so our exposure to alternative life styles was restrcited. it the way it was so we have a longer indoctrination into that social mode. oue level of acceptance maybe harder to break. folks who went to school etc during the 80's on up did so in a time of greater acceptance for 'gays' as society unfolded. they may have already had gay friends in school and are thus more accepting of the alternative life styles.

so in phase one we find that thru the internet and a variety of chat rooms web sites etc we are now exposed to so many diffent things. we chat with women and after awhile that becomes boring we realize that the girls are faking things and the bloom is off. then we come across transgendered categories. when we first see them (back to my point about visual) we probably became fascinated. here is a person of female persona that has an erection (visual again), an erection indicates in our brains sexual excitement. now for the interesting twist. we suddenly find ourselves becoming hard. we are not sure wether we understand this but we know we are getting sexually aroused. for some this is enough and jerking off cools the jets so to speak. for others we now want to understand this new sexual desire, what does it mean, why am i aroused.
at this time we come to my second tiem where we have to start realising things about alterative lifestyles. we can either make this leap of understanding or leave it alone. when we make the leap we start to move into phase 2.

phase 2.
now we want to learn more. we can surf the net to find info on why we are aroused and to try to understand our own sexuality. is it wrong? why do i feel this way. would i touch another penis? would i suck a tgril penis? would i let her top me? could i top her?whats it all about? this is where we ant to meet a tgirl. yes it is sexual attraction, but also we want to understand.
so we have to find a place we can meet a tgirl. in TO we are fortunate that this has been taken care of thanks to a great couple. of course we need to go thru the whole sexual thing, topping, being topped etc to fully understand that we do like this and it is something that has been missing in our lives. by meetin with the tgirls and talking to them we start to view them as people that have a different life style. if we have any brains at all we can see how strongs they are having gone thru the emotonal gambits of their transition as we do this we beome more accepting of ourselves. now we atart to move to phase 3.

phase 3.
pahse 3 and 4 depends upon where you are personally at in your head. how accepting are you of others. personally i believe that who if you are in a relationship with someone then you should not be ashamed of them. if you are then you are not completely comfortable with your own transition. we saw some of this change because of tv. can you remeber when interacial couples in a tv show could actually kill that show? now it is more accepted, as well as gays and lesbians. why not tgirls? if i was in a somewhat long term relationship with a tgirl then i would have no problem taking her to my companies xmas party. it would most certainly raise a few eyebrows. but it may also be a pioneering step into exposing more peole to the world of transition. yes it would also change the way many people see me and react to me but they would have to eventually realise that i am the same person i just have a different sexual orientation. also i would have no problem with telling my family and introducing her to them. my kids, brothers etc would have to accept or not. im sure if they got to now her then that would also help them accept. they should also not begrudge me some happiness. but she would come first. now until i am in a 'long' term relationship then i'm not ready to fully come out.

i think that i would have to be very comfortable in a realatinship before i took a chance at possibly ruining my career and personal finances. its just the way it is. could you imagine things not turning out ok and being viewed as a stupid old fool. its that kind of thing that holds me back for now. just not being sure im really ready.

i can remeber the day i saw my 'special' friend and suddenly saw her as a female. my mind had already changed and i found myself wondering how 'she' was.

as you can see i have thrown 3 and 4 because i feel im in both phases at the same time. at sometime down the road i would dearly luv to have a tgirl turn to me and say she's in love with me, but since i have only started to make my personal transition since the end of this september i think i have made changes in leaps and bounds. i look forward to a greater understanding of my own sexual needs and also the emotional release of understanding.

i remeber one of the first times, possibly the first visit to the lounge one of the girls asked me what i thought. i could only answer, i feel free like i belong.



cheers all. look forward to comments.
btw feeling much better.

so here we are some months later. have i grown? yep. do i know more? yep. is there more to learn? yep.

this has been a fantastic journey in which i have learned so much about myself. the real self deep inside hidden for years. yep. i am freer and i understand myself so much more. i was once asked if i intended to transition. that would not be a pretty site, but in reality if times had been different when i was younger who knows. right now i have found that i am very male, i have a feminine side that has evolved and allows me to explore my sense of fashion and colors. it has helped me understand some of our ladies and let me know i have more to learn. i have 'come out' as they say to parts of my family and intend to tell them all in the very very near future. i have been told this is very courageous. i think it is being true to yourself and freeing yourself just as our ladies have done.

the future looks to be very interesting. i have some ladies interested in me as a person and friend. this is also very flattering.
part of this journey has led me back to a more spiritual self as well and i have been looking into the green and white taras in the buddhist belief where i find one of them believes there is not such thing as gender. i have thought this for sometime myself but could not find anyone that shared this view.

to all who have helped, either with good posts or bad, or pm's and well wishes, to special friends who helped teach me about myself and who i am, thank you soooooooo much. i only hope that i have and will return this gift.