what comes after judgement?

[sunshine]

never boring

marry me lol

You will never ever ever be boring - that is for sure!

[sadeh]

lol

Hi Lisa, if you and Sunshine marry, who would wear the dress, and who would wear the pants...lol
can i be the flower girl then.....

marry me lol

[Tasha Jones RIP]

Just some Thoughts of my own!

I again find myself with things in my head but finding it hard to find the words. It could be that I just did a 6 week tour and seen more rubber the the Trans Canada. It could be that I do not wish to say something that might upset someone or take this tread to a place it should not be. It is a wonderful tread and has the sweetness of all of us girls being nice to each other. Guys write this date on your note pad because this is the first time I have seen it.


There is something that needs to be said about most of us girls. We do not like each other for whatever reason. It is a part of our life, yes it does suck ass, but I think we are starting to change a bit from reading this post. But what is most important is this, we will stand by each other if one of us is in trouble. I will not speak for the other girls. This is how I feel and from what I have seen over the years this is a very true fact!


I understand what you were saying ?Jenllani?. I have met you, spoken to you and even got a wonderful gift from you at my Jack and Jill party. I respect you as a person and enjoyed our talks as short as they were. I always looked forward to seeing you and your wonderful outfit when I was working the bar or being a slut..lol. Your words are put on here in a very tender way but still gets your point across. That is hard to do, and not many people can. I try, but sometimes get off the road a bit.


My fight with Lisa got nasty. Very nasty. I total understand this! But those were words. Would Lisa ever come to my house and bitch slap me...no! Would I ever call anyone on her, never! We said things and talked about things that I think both of us wish we could take back. Things that are personal and the more we had our bitch slapping posts the more we got into things we should not have.


This is life, it does not matter if your on a message board or in person. You have built up issues with someone and when your in a fight they all come out. It may not be right to some, but it is a part of life and should be looked at like that. I think I can say this and Lisa will not mind. Lisa & I are very truthful and out spoken. We take no crap off of anyone and if someone slaps us we slap back harder. When in the middle of it, that voice that most have that says ?step away, slow down your crossing a line? for us, is turned off because we are very emotion people. We both say things that if in person we might never say or do, we were in the moment and it went to that nasty place.


That being said, maybe we should do it away from the board. Maybe we should have called each other or done it by email. Or maybe met up and had tea while tossing back and forth insults face to face while passing the sugar. But truth be told, some of what we said was kinda funny and spiced up my day. I was laughing at some of her insults as I am sure she was to mine.


Do Lisa and I see I to I? God No! Will we always disagree? Nope, when she is right on, I will be more then willing to tell her. Will we be lovers in the bedroom...only in my nightmares..lol. The difference with me, I have no clue about her. I have said my peace and now I have moved on. We will one day be at Goodhandys and I can see us doing that hug & kiss thing and talking and laughing. This fight might have pushed some buttons on some members, but it happened, its over....move on like we have!


I mean look at the other girls, who would have thought they would be speaking like this? Sometimes things like this need to happen for people to get it out there and move past it. It is like when your really pissed off and all you can do is yell till your voice is gone. Everyone needs a release, some ways might be better then others and some may be just what is needed.


I also think you can not judge a person based on a fight. You have to look at the whole body of post and judge them that way. You have to know a little more about them as a person, because again, when your in a fight, you sometimes say things you to not mean or would never do. It is words, and as the saying goes ?actions speak loader then words? and this is the truth when you look at Lisa & myself. I am home and I do not hear or see her clunky heels stalking my front door...lol


We are human. We have feelings and we have faults. To love or at the very least respect a person you have to be able to see both beauty and faults. You have to look at them as a whole not just a moment of weakness or bad judgment!


Hope this post did not offend anyone and maybe made some look at this from a different point of view.


Thanks for the floor
Tasha

[tslisaparadise]

Hi Lisa, if you and Sunshine marry, who would wear the dress, and who would wear the pants...lol
can i be the flower girl then.....

you chicky are crazzzzzzy lol,but what do we get for our wedding gift?hmmmmmm

[tslisaparadise]

I again find myself with things in my head but finding it hard to find the words. It could be that I just did a 6 week tour and seen more rubber the the Trans Canada. It could be that I do not wish to say something that might upset someone or take this tread to a place it should not be. It is a wonderful tread and has the sweetness of all of us girls being nice to each other. Guys write this date on your note pad because this is the first time I have seen it.


There is something that needs to be said about most of us girls. We do not like each other for whatever reason. It is a part of our life, yes it does suck ass, but I think we are starting to change a bit from reading this post. But what is most important is this, we will stand by each other if one of us is in trouble. I will not speak for the other girls. This is how I feel and from what I have seen over the years this is a very true fact!


I understand what you were saying “Jenllani”. I have met you, spoken to you and even got a wonderful gift from you at my Jack and Jill party. I respect you as a person and enjoyed our talks as short as they were. I always looked forward to seeing you and your wonderful outfit when I was working the bar or being a slut..lol. Your words are put on here in a very tender way but still gets your point across. That is hard to do, and not many people can. I try, but sometimes get off the road a bit.


My fight with Lisa got nasty. Very nasty. I total understand this! But those were words. Would Lisa ever come to my house and bitch slap me...no! Would I ever call anyone on her, never! We said things and talked about things that I think both of us wish we could take back. Things that are personal and the more we had our bitch slapping posts the more we got into things we should not have.


This is life, it does not matter if your on a message board or in person. You have built up issues with someone and when your in a fight they all come out. It may not be right to some, but it is a part of life and should be looked at like that. I think I can say this and Lisa will not mind. Lisa & I are very truthful and out spoken. We take no crap off of anyone and if someone slaps us we slap back harder. When in the middle of it, that voice that most have that says “step away, slow down your crossing a line” for us, is turned off because we are very emotion people. We both say things that if in person we might never say or do, we were in the moment and it went to that nasty place.


That being said, maybe we should do it away from the board. Maybe we should have called each other or done it by email. Or maybe met up and had tea while tossing back and forth insults face to face while passing the sugar. But truth be told, some of what we said was kinda funny and spiced up my day. I was laughing at some of her insults as I am sure she was to mine.


Do Lisa and I see I to I? God No! Will we always disagree? Nope, when she is right on, I will be more then willing to tell her. Will we be lovers in the bedroom...only in my nightmares..lol. The difference with me, I have no clue about her. I have said my peace and now I have moved on. We will one day be at Goodhandys and I can see us doing that hug & kiss thing and talking and laughing. This fight might have pushed some buttons on some members, but it happened, its over....move on like we have!


I mean look at the other girls, who would have thought they would be speaking like this? Sometimes things like this need to happen for people to get it out there and move past it. It is like when your really pissed off and all you can do is yell till your voice is gone. Everyone needs a release, some ways might be better then others and some may be just what is needed.


I also think you can not judge a person based on a fight. You have to look at the whole body of post and judge them that way. You have to know a little more about them as a person, because again, when your in a fight, you sometimes say things you to not mean or would never do. It is words, and as the saying goes “actions speak loader then words” and this is the truth when you look at Lisa & myself. I am home and I do not hear or see her clunky heels stalking my front door...lol


We are human. We have feelings and we have faults. To love or at the very least respect a person you have to be able to see both beauty and faults. You have to look at them as a whole not just a moment of weakness or bad judgment!


Hope this post did not offend anyone and maybe made some look at this from a different point of view.


Thanks for the floor
Tasha

hmmmmmm

[maddplotter]

We have more in common with each other than we do with most other people. If we can't look at each other with some kindness, then who will have kindness for us?

Thank you for the post and the beautiful sentiment Lola

That is some really touching stuff. I mean just think about it, how many tgirls are there anyway? Has anyone ever taken a census? I believe that some of you girls are starting to realize that you are in small group, a minority, that few people can understand your life. I was at Goodhandy's, on a Thursday night in June, and I saw maybe a dozen tgirls or a little more. In a city of over 2 million, that is not a lot. And I am sure there are more that stay home or go to other bars. Every tgirl will have a different personality, but most are going through a similar experience. Your different personalities will affect how you deal with each other, but your transitioning, if I may call it that, binds you together.

Ok, I think I will stop typing now because I believe I am getting a little sentimental and sappy. Going to check the internet for more disgusting jokes.

[dallon]

What part of Europe is Lucy from? Is a Turk a European?

Not yet, at least not according to EU. So what is the shame in saying I am a Turk instead of the 'All European' bull crap! Are thumbs fingers?

[sunshine]

exactly

That is some really touching stuff. I mean just think about it, how many tgirls are there anyway? Has anyone ever taken a census? I believe that some of you girls are starting to realize that you are in small group, a minority, that few people can understand your life. I was at Goodhandy's, on a Thursday night in June, and I saw maybe a dozen tgirls or a little more. In a city of over 2 million, that is not a lot. And I am sure there are more that stay home or go to other bars. Every tgirl will have a different personality, but most are going through a similar experience. Your different personalities will affect how you deal with each other, but your transitioning, if I may call it that, binds you together.

Ok, I think I will stop typing now because I believe I am getting a little sentimental and sappy. Going to check the internet for more disgusting jokes.

A minority to be sure and a marginalized one too. It is far better to be a tgirl in Canada than in some other contries but it is still hard to avoid problems. I think you got my point exactly. Here is a forum built around this minority. Lets take advantage of it. Not just to publicize our businesses but also to share experiences. Don't worry, Lisa will let us know if we start to get too sappy.

[Matthew Hopkins]

Once you have made a judgement, what comes next? Let's say that you make a judgement that a certain person is bad in some way, too unlike yourself to be acceptable to you.

You mean unacceptable on an Internet forum? Rarely am I that intolerant.
I don't expect everyone to think exactly like me, and its always refreshing to see someone go against 'The Group', 'The Norm', or 'The Consensus'. At least in my opinion. There's nothing more tiresome than a bunch of sycophants patting each other on the back, and agreeing with each other, all the time.

What then? Do you segregate yourself? Do you attack? Do you provoke to attack? Do you ignore? Do you condemn?

I'm usually indifferent to people I don't like, and ignore them... Though I don't rule out arguing with them. Just to set the record straight, if needed. But I wouldn't consider that so much as an attack, as just telling the truth.

[sunshine]

no easy answers

You mean unacceptable on an Internet forum? Rarely am I that intolerant.
I don't expect everyone to think exactly like me, and its always refreshing to see someone go against 'The Group', 'The Norm', or 'The Consensus'. At least in my opinion. There's nothing more tiresome than a bunch of sycophants patting each other on the back, and agreeing with each other, all the time.



I'm usually indifferent to people I don't like, and ignore them... Though I don't rule out arguing with them. Just to set the record straight, if needed. But I wouldn't consider that so much as an attack, as just telling the truth.

I started this thread as an open-ended question. I don't have any answers. So many replies to this thread have brought forth new questions. This one is no different. Thank you for the contribution. Tasha said that we don't like each other for some reason. Maybe that is true sometimes but is it always true? Not for me. I have been reaching for a way to bridge the gap between some of us by exploring what keeps us apart.

In the case of your post, I wonder if we can grow without reaching out to new experiences. As you put it, things get boring if we just slap each other on the back. But what do we do when we encounter opinions that are truly uncomfortable to our sensibilities? Do we try our hand at some makeshift communication? It seems counter-intuitive sometimes. Do we ignore intuition in favor of some high-flung principle? Do we do it just for the adventure of it? Or do we not make that effort at all and keep our world small and seemingly safe?

Sorry if this thread has been a little on the sappy side. I will try to lighten up a bit on the next one. But thank you to all of you who responded. You have helped me learn.

[Matthew Hopkins]

But what do we do when we encounter opinions that are truly uncomfortable to our sensibilities? Do we try our hand at some makeshift communication? It seems counter-intuitive sometimes. Do we ignore intuition in favor of some high-flung principle? Do we do it just for the adventure of it? Or do we not make that effort at all and keep our world small and seemingly safe?

As you pointed out, there's several routes to take. I suppose you have to do what works for you. In my case, how I would react would probably depend on the individual's perceived motive, for posting that opinion. But like I said earlier, I usually ignore posts I don't like and move on to another. In real life that's not as easy to do, but then people are usually less abrasive in person.

As far as this forum goes, I haven't been around long. I haven't really seen anything really bad, being said yet. Or maybe I'm just numb to it, because I've read a lot worse on another forum?
Anyway, I'll keep looking.

[tao1kiku]

One can make a judgement - it is what you do with that judgement that reflects the person you are. Do you keep that judgement to yourself? let everyone know your judgement and in doing so possibly sow the seeds of ill feeling, discontent and hurt?

Every time you judge another, you invite yourself to be judged.