"Top 3O Fucking Rules Before Calling A Shemale Escort" ... (B@rbie Swallows & Kimmy)

[Barbie_Swallows]

I'm fed up with guys calling my shemale escort adds and asking us stupid fucking questions. So i decided to make a new thread about what to do, and not to do before calling a transsexual escort add. Here's the top 3O rules!
-----------------------------------------------

#1) When you call us, don't ask us if we do outcalls, when u already know that fucking info through our shemale escort add. Very silly.... lol

#2) If u want to meet up with us, don't fucking text us like every 2 minutes. Otherwise we don't take u serious at all, and you'll be ignored. Be a real man and give us a call & stop being a pussy!

#3) Don't call us with private number and expect to meet us in person. We need to protect ourselves and we need to see ur number by a cell phone. And don't tell me it's because ur at the office, lol.

#4) If u wanna meet up with us, make sure to text us a picture of ur self or through email. And by that we don't mean by just ur cock, we like to see ur face too bitch!

#5) Don't call us asking stupid fucking questions, like am i gay if i like shemales? We're not therapists ok, we're just tranny blow up dolls to help lonley guys get off!

#6) We don't accept calls from obsessed stalkers or annoying retarded guys that ask us for free sex or discounts just because ur a fucking student.

#7) If ur planning on being a bottom during our session, make sure u shave ur ass hair first and take a shit, cause we don't wanna make a big chocolate wonderland mess! lol. But on a serious note, if u got a nice round ass that i like to fuck, then we're in business.

#8) We don't accept callers that wish to dress up as cross-dressers. We're sorry, but this won't help us make our cocks hard to give u the fantasy that u want!

#9) Please take a shower and or a bath before meeting up with us. We like fresh clean clients, not guys that came out of a dumpster trash can and that smells bad!

#1O) We don't accept clients that are under the influence on drugs, such as cocaine, and other narcotics or who have been drinking. We don't like baby sitting u cause it's annoying!

#11) Don't call us and ask us if we're gonna travel outside of Toronto, such as the states or wherever. If we were gonna travel, it will be posted on shemalecanada.com on our escort adds.

#12) Stop callling us and asking us if we can do 3somes with ur girlfriends or wives. We only do doubles with each other, but don't be surprised if one gets horny & one the other t-girl don't.

#13) If ur gonna call us just to compliment us by our recent photo's on our escort adds, then just save it, cause we have busy lives doing a million things. Save ur self from alot of trouble & tell us in person.

#14) We don't allow our pets or ur own cats or dogs to watch us perform the wild nasty thing in the bedroom. I'm sorry, it's against our religion! lol

#15) Stop crank calling us, and telling us we're gonna burn in hell for being sinners cause we're transsexual escorts. We'd rather stay in hell with satan and get a nice sun tanned anyways! LOL

#16) If you continue harassing us by calling us private number, ur not gonna get through to us that way to get what u really want from us. Respect our saftey & unblock ur number!

#17) Stop asking us how many plastic surgeries we've have had done. Just admire us for being beautiful t-girls. You know u want us, so stop with the million fucking questions. Are we on Dr. Phil show or something?

#18) If ur gonna call us and ask us questions like where can i shoot my cum on u, then u will be ignored like yesterdays trash. We like to have some respect u know!

#19) We don't accept callers that are from certain backgrounds due to there constant cheap skate requests. I'd rather have u keep guessing cause i don't wanna offend anybody online, lol.

#2O) Stop calling us and asking if we can fuck u bareback. We always use protection cause it's what our parents taught us. Condoms our the best way to avoid fucking stds & aids!

#21) If u have mental problems, such as bi-polar, or schizphrenia, then please call the gay escort adds or regular female hot line. We have enough problems and stress as it is being shemales!

#22) I love big monster cocks, so please let us know before hand, cause it will give us a huge smile on our faces, cause the bigger u are, the better we play and have more fun!

#23) Stop callling me and asking me if it's true what my last name says, if i swallow or not. Yes i do swallow, if the guy is my type. But remember "Barbie Swallows" is just a porn star stage name. Like get real.. lol

#24) If ur offering to pick us up with ur car, then be nice enough not to get all worried or nervous or scared what the outside world things. I noticed many of are too paranoid, to pick us up in a busy interesction.

#25) Stop calling us and asking us if we can use u as a personal toilet and beg us to pee & shit on u. If u want that fantasy so bad, go to a farm land, there's plenty of horses and cows that will be happy to pefrom that for u.

#26) Do not call us and ask us to go on our webcam's so u can jerk ur small pathetic cocks. That is very rude to do that u know. We're not sex machines or aliens from another planet, we're humans from god ok.

#27) Don't text us asking if we're gonna be at Goodhandys tonight. Cause half the times when we tell u we are gonna be there, u losers don't even show up due to low self esteam & insecurities.

#28) Why bother calling us, and requests certain outfits to wear during the bedroom. Why don't u wait, and have us surprised u what we're gonna wear for u.

#29) It's really annoying when u guys call us and expect us to tell u everything about our lives, but when we ask u personal questions, u dont anwser none of them. Like whatever!

#3O) When u call us, we find it frusterating when ur wispering over the phone while asking us questions. We all know ur discrete and if ur not alone, just call us when ur wife or gf is not around. Thank u!

B@rbie Swallows

[Sushigirl]

Right on Girls! Well said.

Right on Girls! Well said.

Bibiane

[Flashtrigger]

[QUOTE=Barbie_Swallows;226664]

Both me and my girlfriend Kimmy are fed up with guys calling our shemale escort adds and asking us stupid fucking questions. So i decided to make a new thread about what to do, and not to do before calling a transsexual escort add. Here's the top 3O rules!
-----------------------------------------------

#1) When you call us, don't ask us if we do outcalls, when u already know that fucking info through our shemale escort add. Very silly.... lol

#2) If u want to meet up with us, don't fucking text us like every 2 minutes. Otherwise we don't take u serious at all, and you'll be ignored. Be a real man and give us a call & stop being a pussy!

#3) Don't call us with private number and expect to meet us in person. We need to protect ourselves and we need to see ur number by a cell phone. And don't tell me it's because ur at the office, lol.

#4) If u wanna meet up with us, make sure to text us a picture of ur self or through email. And by that we don't mean by just ur cock, we like to see ur face too bitch!

#5) Don't call us asking stupid fucking questions, like am i gay if i like shemales? We're not therapists ok, we're just tranny blow up dolls to help lonley guys get off!

#6) We don't accept calls from obsessed stalkers or annoying retarded guys that ask us for free sex or discounts just because ur a fucking student.

#7) If ur planning on being a bottom during our session, make sure u shave ur ass hair first and take a shit, cause we don't wanna make a big chocolate wonderland mess! lol. But on a serious note, if u got a nice round ass that i like to fuck, then we're in business.

#8) We don't accept callers that wish to dress up as cross-dressers. We're sorry, but this won't help us make our cocks hard to give u the fantasy that u want!

#9) Please take a shower and or a bath before meeting up with us. We like fresh clean clients, not guys that came out of a dumpster trash can and that smells bad!

#1O) We don't accept clients that are under the influence on drugs, such as cocaine, and other narcotics or who have been drinking. We don't like baby sitting u cause it's annoying!

#11) Don't call us and ask us if we're gonna travel outside of Toronto, such as the states or wherever. If we were gonna travel, it will be posted on shemalecanada.com on our escort adds. Kim & I will be going to Montreal soon & don't call us for the dates cause we'll post them on our profile adds!

#12) Stop callling us and asking us if we can do 3somes with ur girlfriends or wives. We only do doubles with each other, but don't be surprised if one gets horny & one the other t-girl don't.

#13) If ur gonna call us just to compliment us by our recent photo's on our escort adds, then just save it, cause we have busy lives doing a million things. Save ur self from alot of trouble & tell us in person.

#14) We don't allow our pets or ur own cats or dogs to watch us perform the wild nasty thing in the bedroom. I'm sorry, it's against our religion! lol

#15) Stop crank calling us, and telling us we're gonna burn in hell for being sinners cause we're transsexual escorts. We'd rather stay in hell with satan and get a nice sun tanned anyways! LOL

#16) If you continue harassing us by calling us private number, ur not gonna get through to us that way to get what u really want from us. Respect our saftey & unblock ur number!

#17) Stop asking us how many plastic surgeries we've have had done. Just admire us for being beautiful t-girls. You know u want us, so stop with the million fucking questions. Are we on Dr. Phil show or something?

#18) If ur gonna call us and ask us questions like where can i shoot my cum on u, then u will be ignored like yesterdays trash. We like to have some respect u know!

#19) We don't accept callers that are from certain backgrounds due to there constant cheap skate requests. I'd rather have u keep guessing cause i don't wanna offend anybody online, lol.

#2O) Stop calling us and asking if we can fuck u bareback. We always use protection cause it's what our parents taught us. Condoms our the best way to avoid fucking stds & aids!

#21) If u have mental problems, such as bi-polar, or schizphrenia, then please call the gay escort adds or regular female hot line. We have enough problems and stress as it is being shemales!

#22) Me and Kimmy both love big monster cocks, so please let us know before hand, cause it will give us a huge smile on our faces, cause the bigger u are, the better we play and have more fun!

#23) Stop callling me and asking me if it's true what my last name says, if i swallow or not. Yes i do swallow, if the guy is my type. But remember "Barbie Swallows" is just a porn star stage name. Like get real.. lol

#24) If ur offering to pick us up with ur car, then be nice enough not to get all worried or nervous or scared what the outside world things. I noticed many of are too paranoid, to pick us up in a busy interesction.

#25) Stop calling us and asking us if we can use u as a personal toilet and beg us to pee & shit on u. If u want that fantasy so bad, go to a farm land, there's plenty of horses and cows that will be happy to pefrom that for u.

#26) Do not call us and ask us to go on our webcam's so u can jerk ur small pathetic cocks. That is very rude to do that u know. We're not sex machines or aliens from another planet, we're humans from god ok.

#27) Don't text us asking if we're gonna be at Goodhandys tonight. Cause half the times when we tell u we are gonna be there, u losers don't even show up due to low self esteam & insecurities.

#28) Why bother calling us, and requests certain outfits to wear during the bedroom. Why don't u wait, and have us surprised u what we're gonna wear for u.

#29) It's really annoying when u guys call us and expect us to tell u everything about our lives, but when we ask u personal questions, u dont anwser none of them. Like whatever!

#3O) When u call us, we find it frusterating when ur wispering over the phone while asking us questions. We all know ur discrete and if ur not alone, just call us when ur wife or gf is not around. Thank u!

B@rbie Swallows


#28) Why bother calling us, and requests certain outfits to wear during the bedroom. Why don't u wait, and have us surprised u what we're gonna wear for u.

Because if someone is spending 250-300$ for an hour of a sexual fantasy with you, they should be able to request an outfit. Thats usually a given with TONS of escorts, its seriously that big of an issue with you?


#27) Don't text us asking if we're gonna be at Goodhandys tonight. Cause half the times when we tell u we are gonna be there, u losers don't even show up due to low self esteam & insecurities.

Do you talk to people like that in real life, or do you just always have something foul mouthed and cunty to say on the internet? Seriously, you couldn't even PAY me to sleep with you. I've never seen you say anything nice to anybody other than a few of the other t-girls on this forum, and you've even talked shit about most of them on MSN.

#26) Do not call us and ask us to go on our webcam's so u can jerk ur small pathetic cocks. That is very rude to do that u know. We're not sex machines or aliens from another planet, we're humans from god ok.


Stop trying to photoshop your sub par photographs into oblivion and people will stop trying to ask you to get on cam. Nobody wants to get all amped up to go see some escort, only to find out theres a terrible case of acne and a thick as fuck 5 oclock shadow going on that was photoshopped out of their photos.

#25) Stop calling us and asking us if we can use u as a personal toilet and beg us to pee & shit on u. If u want that fantasy so bad, go to a farm land, there's plenty of horses and cows that will be happy to pefrom that for u.

If you dont want people calling you with off color and weird requests, quit being someone who gets paid money for fulfilling sexual fantasies. You're a prostitute, that means people are going to PAY you to do things they aren't doing with other people, or cant get away with doing with the wifey/girlfriend. GET OVER IT.

#21) If u have mental problems, such as bi-polar, or schizphrenia, then please call the gay escort adds or regular female hot line. We have enough problems and stress as it is being shemales!

Yes barbie, because you're the most mentally adjusted person to ever grace Toronto. Jesus fucking christ.

#19) We don't accept callers that are from certain backgrounds due to there constant cheap skate requests. I'd rather have u keep guessing cause i don't wanna offend anybody online, lol.

So you're also a racist? awesome. Dont say thats not racism, because thats exactly what it is.

#12) Stop callling us and asking us if we can do 3somes with ur girlfriends or wives. We only do doubles with each other, but don't be surprised if one gets horny & one the other t-girl don't.

I can understand a handful of the nitpickings, but seriously, for all your little specifications and do's and donts, you should be paying poor SOBs to fuck and put up with you. Seriously, you're one of the most foul people I've ever seen on a forum.
Again, then quit being a fucking hooker you retard.

[cooldude]

Barbie and Kimmy are a perfect match. I don't think you could get 2 more crappier attitudes. Why waste your money on them?

[saluki17]

Usually Barbie's posts don't warrant comment, only a good chuckle. Troll is, however, dead-on, of course. If I were actually hoping that people would call me to partake of my services, I would not write something like this, at least not in the way it was written:

#12) Stop callling us and asking us if we can do 3somes with ur girlfriends or wives. We only do doubles with each other, but don't be surprised if one gets horny & one the other t-girl don't.

Translation:

12. We don't take appointments with MF couples.

[Barbie_Swallows]

Barbie and Kimmy are a perfect match. I don't think you could get 2 more crappier attitudes. Why waste your money on them?

LMAO! Funny... lol... hahahah!

[tommygun]

#1) When you call us, don't ask us if we do outcalls, when u already know that fucking info through our shemale escort add. Very silly.... lol

Not all service providers state this clearly on their ads. Some flip flop from one week to the next. Today they do outcalls only, next week it's incalls and outcalls, the week after it's outcalls only to certain hotels. When people in the industry keep us unsure, you can't expect us not to ask simple questions like this.

#7) If ur planning on being a bottom during our session, make sure u shave ur ass hair first and take a shit, cause we don't wanna make a big chocolate wonderland mess! lol. But on a serious note, if u got a nice round ass that i like to fuck, then we're in business.

This is important but there is also a responsibility on the side of the service provider to make sure the client knows this. I expect a car salesman to inform a first time car buyer of the need to do routine maintenance, oil changes, tire rotations, etc. You know your profession better than anyone else, and what to prepare for.

#8) We don't accept callers that wish to dress up as cross-dressers. We're sorry, but this won't help us make our cocks hard to give u the fantasy that u want!

If this is your personal feeling, that's cool. But many service providers entertain just this very thing. To apply this to every escort would be wrong.

#9) Please take a shower and or a bath before meeting up with us. We like fresh clean clients, not guys that came out of a dumpster trash can and that smells bad!

This goes for the service provider as well.

#1O) We don't accept clients that are under the influence on drugs, such as cocaine, and other narcotics or who have been drinking. We don't like baby sitting u cause it's annoying!

Again, this goes for the service provider as well.

#11) Don't call us and ask us if we're gonna travel outside of Toronto, such as the states or wherever. If we were gonna travel, it will be posted on shemalecanada.com on our escort adds. Kim & I will be going to Montreal soon & don't call us for the dates cause we'll post them on our profile adds!

With due respect to many girls some of posted travel plans on there suck. Incomplete, dates not adjusted when last minute changes occur, or just flat out errors. We are all human and prone to error but those of us who have been caught in those mistakes like to clarify so they don't happen again. You'd do it too if you were in our shoes.

#12) Stop callling us and asking us if we can do 3somes with ur girlfriends or wives. We only do doubles with each other, but don't be surprised if one gets horny & one the other t-girl don't.

Please see response to #8.

#18) If ur gonna call us and ask us questions like where can i shoot my cum on u, then u will be ignored like yesterdays trash. We like to have some respect u know!

This is a relevant business question. Some people are particular and look for specific services. If you asked an electrician if he could install a switch, and he got angry with you or ignored you, how would you react?

#19) We don't accept callers that are from certain backgrounds due to there constant cheap skate requests. I'd rather have u keep guessing cause i don't wanna offend anybody online, lol.

I'd have more respect for this if you just came right out and said which race(s) you're prejudiced towards.

#26) Do not call us and ask us to go on our webcam's so u can jerk ur small pathetic cocks. That is very rude to do that u know. We're not sex machines or aliens from another planet, we're humans from god ok.

As long as the pictures of the service providers are not years old and don't reflect the current apperance of the service provider, you're right, the webcam is not necessary.

#28) Why bother calling us, and requests certain outfits to wear during the bedroom. Why don't u wait, and have us surprised u what we're gonna wear for u.

This is a reasonable service request. If guys are paying top dollar for services they have a right to be selective. Do you give your phone company $150 a month and say "surprise me"?



These are obviously relevant to you and Kim. Perhaps you should consider posting it on your ads as not everyone visits these boards.

[Flashtrigger]

Unfortunately, we are all human, we all have our sexual limits. Being an escort doesn't automatically make you some gigantic sex goddess. Best advice for guys and couples is to call and ask but respect our limits. its not like theres really any shortage of girls out there and I'm sure theres someone for everyone.

Are you referring to me? Because I dont see anywhere in my post where I called anybody a gigantic sex goddess. Yes, people have limits, you dont bitch about them asking though, you politely decline. When I go to a restaurant, I dont bitch out the waiter for asking if I want ice in my drink when I dont want ice in my drink. Her bitching about people asking for 3 ways in her profession is like a doctor bitching about people asking for a physical examination. Its part of the job. If you were a carpenter, you wouldn't bitch about people asking you if you also do dry walling, and if you didn't know a thing or two about dry walling, you'd be a piss poor carpenter in the first place.

[Lexi]

You gals

This made me smile you girls are to much Thanks for being you

[prettyboy]

Why are the guys getting their knickers in a twist over this list
Think of it as a 'Letterman Top Ten list', it is humour, pure and simple, of course all the best humour is based on reality, maybe some of them hit close to home. The girls get to listen to the same fucking questions from guys,, have to deal with the same bullshit day after day after day, it eventually becomes both funny and annoying, give them a chance to vent.
Lighten up!

[Paris-Montreal]

STOP CALLING ESCORTES N SAY .......

YOU SAID IN YOU ADD OUTCALL ONLY .. CAN YOU DO INCALL I CANT RECEIVE AT HOME


?

SERIOUSLY WHY DO YOU THINK I TAKE TIME TO WHRITE OUTCALL ONLY IF I CAN DO INCALLS ??


OTHER ONE .... DO YOU OFFER A GOOD SERVICE


?

IS IT HAPPEN THAT A GIRL ANSWER NO


IS IT YOU THE BLONDE ON THE PICTURE

?

NO I JUST POST PICTURE OF MY MOM TO SEE IF SHE COULD MAKE MONEY ON ESCORTING


TODAY 19 JANNUARY 2010 : HI I WOULD BE AVALABLE ON APRIL 9 WO


9 APRIL 2010 NO ... BUT THE 9 APRIL 2011 YES


I UNDERSTAND THAT MEN WHO R EXITED SOMETHIN TINK WITH SOMETHING ESLE THEN THE BREAN BUT PLZZZZZ TURN YOUR THONG 7 TIME BEFORE ASKING STUPID QUESTION LIKE THAT YOU WILL SAVE MY TIME YOUR TIME

LOVE U BARBIE

[Justcurious34]

This made me smile you girls are to much Thanks for being you

Lexi

from my research

Its the clients that should be saying "Thanks for being you"


duke
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

[Justcurious34]

STOP CALLING ESCORTES N SAY .......

YOU SAID IN YOU ADD OUTCALL ONLY .. CAN YOU DO INCALL I CANT RECEIVE AT HOME


?

SERIOUSLY WHY DO YOU THINK I TAKE TIME TO WHRITE OUTCALL ONLY IF I CAN DO INCALLS ??


OTHER ONE .... DO YOU OFFER A GOOD SERVICE


?

IS IT HAPPEN THAT A GIRL ANSWER NO


IS IT YOU THE BLONDE ON THE PICTURE

?

NO I JUST POST PICTURE OF MY MOM TO SEE IF SHE COULD MAKE MONEY ON ESCORTING


TODAY 19 JANNUARY 2010 : HI I WOULD BE AVALABLE ON APRIL 9 WO


9 APRIL 2010 NO ... BUT THE 9 APRIL 2011 YES


I UNDERSTAND THAT MEN WHO R EXITED SOMETHIN TINK WITH SOMETHING ESLE THEN THE BREAN BUT PLZZZZZ TURN YOUR THONG 7 TIME BEFORE ASKING STUPID QUESTION LIKE THAT YOU WILL SAVE MY TIME YOUR TIME

LOVE U BARBIE

Paris

what about the guys that call just to hear your voice,so they can relate with that assume photo of you,
hmmm, OOOOOPs , just kidding
loll, I have never done it,
but ,damn you are sooooo gorgeous
I'm sure you get tired of hearing that

duke
believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

[Barbie_Swallows]

Lexi

from my research

Its the clients that should be saying "Thanks for being you"


duke
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

She thanked me and Kim cause we're so open about who we are and not afraid to be ourseleves if guys like u hate us or not. Most shemale escorts will pretend that they are perfect and love everybody. That's why she appreciates our honesty, unlike the majority of transsexuals, who are worried about loosing business!

[konabuds]

There are so many rules in today's society. Whatever happened to fun, frolicking in the sun?

kona