Halp! I just took over 9000mgs of Estrodial and doesn't afraid of anything.

[Horizon1]

If you stop being cancerous, we can get along fine.

[Horizon1]

Fuck you.

[Horizon1]

Um, that was no help

So u guys really like each other then?

Imagine you were a part of a secret club that nobody else knew about. This club was totally awesome and you did some pretty fun shit, then somehow more people started to know about this club.

These new people invite their friends, and then those newer people invite their friends, and your whole club is pretty much ruined. So you pack up your things and move to another area for your club, and the whole thing happens again.

The club was never meant to be a "Haha look at the funny pics ^_^" club, but more of a "Gentlemen of the Internet" club.

Tonia is one of the people that joined the club much later, and think it's cool to spread the word using "in jokes".

I hope this explains it without leading you to my "clubhouse".

[Horizon1]

Pretty much.

[Tonia Lee]

Horizon, why am I getting posts here and e-mails regarding you? They all say the same thing.
"You fucking suck"
Who's cancer now? This is my thread for the ONE person (if that) that want's to see my ugly ass. I want you to get the fuck out.
I'm asking you to just do me and everybody else contacting me a favor and go the fuck to hell.
Please.

[Horizon1]

Bold red lettering, you have now entered super serious mode.

[Horizon1]

O
Now i kind of understand u people that always reply with pictures.

I still prefer the text with pictures thrown in myself.

However i'd like to see u folks start replying with ur own videos.
Now that would be cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MC0G...eature=related

^ This vid can be used to reply to every post.

edit: guess it auto embeds

I tried to embed it, but HTML fail

[Tonia Lee]

I fucking hate you. You make me sick to my stomach. Leave me the fuck alone.

[thebigjuggler]

i think you look pretty good

it's so sad to see that many people don't accept trans people because of their appearance....

[Tonia Lee]

Don't worry, I will post PUPPIES very soon.

i think you look pretty good

it's so sad to see that many people don't accept trans people because of their appearance....

This is why being passable is important. I would rather look ugly and be a woman than ever be a man and have pretty features. I assume I don't pass because of what people say to hurt me. It's always the same thing, you look like a man.
I go by example and it's easy to imprint something in the mind of a transsexual that went through even a fraction of what I did. I am, I think, one of the saddest cases. Like I posted, in the "general" community of trans chicks, I have seen horrid shit. I never thought that I would face it myself. I figured, I'm to old to have this or that happen to me. I assumed it was just a growing experience for the younger girls. The worst case was self mutilation made public. I knew one girl, Morbidtrap, that took a knife to her arms over years time. It's very shocking. Iv'e seen far worse. One chick was killed not to long ago. She was just as passable as me... just a normal looking girl.
This is serious post and one that I don't want anybody to talk shit about. It's one thing to say I look ugly or fail but somebody will make fun of me and hurt me but this is the way it is, they don't care. They like to see us in pain.

I was raped.
I was raped right in my own home. It was my fault, I set myself up for it. I let my defenses down. He did something to me that changed me. He made me turn off the lights. I asked him why... for some reason. He just smirked and laughed. In my mind, I figure it was that I was not even pretty enough to be the victim of a sex crime.
This is hard to talk about.
Every time I look in the mirror I see something I hate. I try to change it. Hormones, upkeep... more EVEN MORE hormones. Still, I see it. It's like being covered in filth and nothing washes it off until your so crazy that you can't think strait.
People have told me I'm crazy for a long time. I believe that because why would they say that. I write what I see, how I feel and what I have experienced. In doing so, the public tells me I'm crazy.
So, I am crazy.
People tell me I'm ugly and don't pass. Why would they say that? I simply don't pass.
But in fairness, I have chicks that tell me I'm inspirational. Ya, it's just as funny to me as well.
I don't have this problem around the city or at work. I don't get stared at. My boss and co-workers never called me "he".
I get hit on. Like... all the time. I just don't understand why, it must be the DORK FACE and small fail tits that drives men wild.
I think people say things that hit deep. They know what hurts.
Find what hurts it. Use that. See if she an hero's.
Some do.

I don't think I'm adult material. I don't think this means I'll never do it. I did, in fact, get some leads and an offer but I will just do that if I can. I'm really trying. Saving money, taking care of myself and seeing my doctor as much as I can.

[tslisaparadise]

This is why being passable is important. I would rather look ugly and be a woman than ever be a man and have pretty features. I assume I don't pass because of what people say to hurt me. It's always the same thing, you look like a man.
I go by example and it's easy to imprint something in the mind of a transsexual that went through even a fraction of what I did. I am, I think, one of the saddest cases. Like I posted, in the "general" community of trans chicks, I have seen horrid shit. I never thought that I would face it myself. I figured, I'm to old to have this or that happen to me. I assumed it was just a growing experience for the younger girls. The worst case was self mutilation made public. I knew one girl, Morbidtrap, that took a knife to her arms over years time. It's very shocking. Iv'e seen far worse. One chick was killed not to long ago. She was just as passable as me... just a normal looking girl.
This is serious post and one that I don't want anybody to talk shit about. It's one thing to say I look ugly or fail but somebody will make fun of me and hurt me but this is the way it is, they don't care. They like to see us in pain.

I was raped.
I was raped right in my own home. It was my fault, I set myself up for it. I let my defenses down. He did something to me that changed me. He made me turn off the lights. I asked him why... for some reason. He just smirked and laughed. In my mind, I figure it was that I was not even pretty enough to be the victim of a sex crime.
This is hard to talk about.
Every time I look in the mirror I see something I hate. I try to change it. Hormones, upkeep... more EVEN MORE hormones. Still, I see it. It's like being covered in filth and nothing washes it off until your so crazy that you can't think strait.
People have told me I'm crazy for a long time. I believe that because why would they say that. I write what I see, how I feel and what I have experienced. In doing so, the public tells me I'm crazy.
So, I am crazy.
People tell me I'm ugly and don't pass. Why would they say that? I simply don't pass.
But in fairness, I have chicks that tell me I'm inspirational. Ya, it's just as funny to me as well.
I don't have this problem around the city or at work. I don't get stared at. My boss and co-workers never called me "he".
I get hit on. Like... all the time. I just don't understand why, it must be the DORK FACE and small fail tits that drives men wild.
I think people say things that hit deep. They know what hurts.
Find what hurts it. Use that. See if she an hero's.
Some do.

I don't think I'm adult material. I don't think this means I'll never do it. I did, in fact, get some leads and an offer but I will just do that if I can. I'm really trying. Saving money, taking care of myself and seeing my doctor as much as I can.

girlfriend dont let anybody tell you your ugly cause the ones that do are just a waste of skin period.some people dont realize that it hurts like hell to be knocked down pushed around you need to ask yourself does it really matter if you pass or not?its not a life and death thing hell ive done everything under the sun way more then anyother tgirl i know other then nina and i still dont pass but it comes down to one thing and one thing only,,,would i rather live the rest of my life out as a boy or continue the journey to respectabilty and tollerarence? ive made my choice.

[Tasha Jones RIP]

I am at a lose for words.
Lisa, that was the most well spoken responce from you I have EVER seen!
Wow...still looking for my pumped up lip on the floor..lol
Tasha

[thebigjuggler]

This is why being passable is important. I would rather look ugly and be a woman than ever be a man and have pretty features. I assume I don't pass because of what people say to hurt me. It's always the same thing, you look like a man.
I go by example and it's easy to imprint something in the mind of a transsexual that went through even a fraction of what I did. I am, I think, one of the saddest cases. Like I posted, in the "general" community of trans chicks, I have seen horrid shit. I never thought that I would face it myself. I figured, I'm to old to have this or that happen to me. I assumed it was just a growing experience for the younger girls. The worst case was self mutilation made public. I knew one girl, Morbidtrap, that took a knife to her arms over years time. It's very shocking. Iv'e seen far worse. One chick was killed not to long ago. She was just as passable as me... just a normal looking girl.
This is serious post and one that I don't want anybody to talk shit about. It's one thing to say I look ugly or fail but somebody will make fun of me and hurt me but this is the way it is, they don't care. They like to see us in pain.

I was raped.
I was raped right in my own home. It was my fault, I set myself up for it. I let my defenses down. He did something to me that changed me. He made me turn off the lights. I asked him why... for some reason. He just smirked and laughed. In my mind, I figure it was that I was not even pretty enough to be the victim of a sex crime.
This is hard to talk about.
Every time I look in the mirror I see something I hate. I try to change it. Hormones, upkeep... more EVEN MORE hormones. Still, I see it. It's like being covered in filth and nothing washes it off until your so crazy that you can't think strait.
People have told me I'm crazy for a long time. I believe that because why would they say that. I write what I see, how I feel and what I have experienced. In doing so, the public tells me I'm crazy.
So, I am crazy.
People tell me I'm ugly and don't pass. Why would they say that? I simply don't pass.
But in fairness, I have chicks that tell me I'm inspirational. Ya, it's just as funny to me as well.
I don't have this problem around the city or at work. I don't get stared at. My boss and co-workers never called me "he".
I get hit on. Like... all the time. I just don't understand why, it must be the DORK FACE and small fail tits that drives men wild.
I think people say things that hit deep. They know what hurts.
Find what hurts it. Use that. See if she an hero's.
Some do.

I don't think I'm adult material. I don't think this means I'll never do it. I did, in fact, get some leads and an offer but I will just do that if I can. I'm really trying. Saving money, taking care of myself and seeing my doctor as much as I can.

if you are crazy then so am I! In all seriousness, nobody is crazy, there is no such thing as insanity. I believe people feel things the way they feel it and respond to it with their own view of life, their values, what they think is important. That is why I don't believe in normality either. What the heck is normal anyways?


I can't relate to your story , but I've been having some mental issues in the last 2-3 years. And even though I feared that the emotions I felt would empower my consciousness and drive me to do things I would regret, I'm still here, able and sound, with a new vista towards life. I don't think I would accept being in that mind prison I built myself when I started highschool. Now I feel things (maybe a bit too harshly but hey...), and sometimes it destabilizes me but i've got to keep going, moreover I WANT to keep going.


On another note, if you wish to read some good psycho-pop insight , read the book "A road less travelled" by Scott Peck, I thoroughly enjoyed it, even though the guy is being a bit of a snobby prick sometimes

[kimanio]

i would like to say that for one you do "pass" and two .... dam ...


well anyway for sharing with us and

i hope things get better for u

[tslisaparadise]

I am at a lose for words.
Lisa, that was the most well spoken responce from you I have EVER seen!
Wow...still looking for my pumped up lip on the floor..lol
Tasha

thats my yearly quota lol dont get used to it lol