Announcement

**johnnycakes** · 05-04-2008, 07:29 AM

Barbie,

I'm sorry you're feeling so unhappy. There are many people with depression that are able to cope much better after seeing a doctor. There are numerous methods to treat depression now and most are quite effective...counseling and the right medication can do wonders.

I hope you're seeing a doctor now and if you're not I would urge you to do so. No one should have to live feeling the way you do now especially when there is help available.

I can't imagine what life as a transexual would be like but I'm sure it isn't easy. Remember though, for every person that doesn't accept you there is someone (like many of the people on this forum) that adore you.

Hang tough....this too shall pass.

**markerverse** · 05-04-2008, 07:33 AM

Barbie

All of the 'rooms' you wish to be in are available. You need only turn the handle of a door and enter. The most beautiful of all is the one occupied by your mother. It's full of warmth, love , encouragement and support. Your transformation of choice no doubt overwhelmed and disarmed her. Her confusion ,like all of her emotions was major. Her tears very real.

Yes .... that's the peace you should be seeking. That's the one embrace you never get enough of. Here's a suggestion.

Give your Mom a telephone call. Tell her you love her so very much. Next try a one on one get together. If she accepts your attending appearance should bear out your respect for her. Though difficult just once, this one time, show up looking as much like the son you are to her. Don't forget to give her that big embrace and hold her gently for a few moments. You'll know what next to do.

If you enter that room your current troubles will melt away.+

**toban** · 05-04-2008, 10:21 AM

Help needed now!

Barbie, this morning you have just unloaded for us, with great feeling, your current state of mind and the hurt you are feeling. That took a lot of courage!

You have already received some excellent advice here from both markerverse and johnnycakes. Markerverve mentions hugs as being a beneficial part of the process but I can tell that today, you desperately need to receive that hug from someone you trust. I only wish I could do that for you!

As a former counsellor, I have heard very similar stories from clients feeling alone and with few options to follow, just as you feel today. We already know from your story that you do possess great courage. Courage to have gone to the lengths you have already gone to accomplish your goal of transforming your life. Now you will need to summon up even more of that "Barbie style" courage to tackle the severe situation you now find yourself in. I used the word "severe" because your revelation this morning tells me that this situation is becoming very difficult for you to handle by yourself.

Depression and feelings such as you describe to us today, and as severe as you describe them to us, can not be cured by waiting and hoping things will get better. There is a greater chance that they will instead worsen, leaving you helpless and debilitated.

Depression can be likened to a whirlpool. Think of water swirling around a drain in the sink. An object floating at the beginning near the edge, travels quite slowly but as it nears the center it begins to pick up speed, spinning faster and faster until finally, it swirls down the drain. I suspect that the feelings you express today are not new to you this week, that they have been with you for some time now. Like the water in the sink, you may be getting closer and closer to the center. Therefore it is most important to do something NOW to help yourself, lest you find yourself nearer that all consuming center.

If you have no close personal friend with whom you may be able to share these deep feelings, then you definitely must look for outside help. In a situation like this we all need help from others. I would like to help you but unfortunately the best I can do is to encourage you to seek out help from an outside source. Please do not wait to look for such help! Delay will definitely mean that you are going to sink more deeply into that whirlpool of despair.

I seem to recall that there is a Transgender friendly center in the Church Street area that does offer counseling. Maybe that can be a first step for you to take.

From personal experience, I know that whatever route you may choose to take will be emotionally very difficult, and you will need to again summon up all the courage you can, to accomplish a return to feelings you can accept and live comfortably with.

A first step, however difficult it may seem to you now, must be taken soon, before this depression will be conquered.

**newsrim** · 05-04-2008, 10:47 AM

Sorry for your struggles, Barbie. Get therapy, or get out of the business, or just take a vacation somewhere, but whatever you do please stay away from drugs. You're right about how some girls fall into it, and it can be disastrous.

**snoodle** · 05-04-2008, 10:48 AM

Barbie, it must really hurt that your family does not accept you. I really feel bad for you for that. Its too bad. I think your family members are the ones that need counselling, because your family should always accept you no matter what.
You were produced from the genes of your parents. So if they think your screwed up well, News Flash ( they screwed you up ). And on top of it, they want to reject you so that they don't have to face their own guilt.

You should confront your family on this issue, and try to bring a friend with you when you do so you will have someone on your side.

The way they are treating you is unacceptable and cruel.

Its good though that you are a strong person, I'm sure you will be okay.

Keep your head up, you'll find true love on day. Everyone has a soulmate out there, its just a matter of time before you find yours. Don't lose hope.

**Barbie_Swallows** · 05-04-2008, 01:52 PM

Thanks for ur advice everyone, i really appreciate it.

Anyways read this email down below, its kinda funny but he was being rude too. I been chatting with this guy online for over 2yrs. he only wants to jerk off infront of his computer on cam 2 cam sex, and never wants to meet me for real, even though he says he wants too, but always says he's busy and other bullshit crap.
__________________________________________________ _________

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: babe

Date: Sun, 4 May 2008 14:22:23 -0400

have fun jerking off infront of ur computer to shemale porn, like u always do loser... since ur not a real man to actually meet one for real, cause ur a big PUSSY!

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: babe
Date: Sun, 4 May 2008 14:37:38 -0400

okay dude...and you have fun pretending your a girl when in reality your a fuckin fag and an ugly shemale at best lol ur a freak yet you still think u can talk down to me. you leave your busted ass apartment and people point and laugh at you. lol must be a really good life. enjoy getting fucked once by dudes and then never seeing them agian. goodluck finding a real bf or to have a family one day. lol your a fuckin joke and your scum. enjoy your life u freak of fuckin nature. bye "barbie" ugly shemale at best . you should just try to be a dude agian. u might have better luck with keeping someone around haha

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: babe
Date: Sun, 4 May 2008 14:45:24 -0400

that was very mean.

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: babe
Date: Sun, 4 May 2008 15:00:42 -0400

yea it was....your always a bitch to me...i dont need that shit anymore. so dont fuckin talk to me anymore if your just gonna be a negative person. i dont need that shit in my life. so fuck you and shut the fuck up

have a wonderful day :P

**Graeme W** · 05-04-2008, 04:33 PM

Barbie

I recently joined this forum - so its all new to me. Having read the thread posted by Barbie I can understand her worries and doubts and I think its both brave and positive to express herself here.

Looking at the log and seeing the obscene stuff she has been sent by someone named Kobe I am disgusted that he can say such vile things to someone who is clearly vulnerable.
Hold your head up Barbie - be proud of who and what you are. There are a lot of people, like me who can appreciate the real beauty of someone like you.
To me - shemales offer the best of all worlds, greater femininity than most women and certainly greater sensuality + the uniqueness of being the third sex - a package combining the best qualities of man and woman all in one fabulous person.

Enjoy who you are and forget about the confused losers who try to make themselves feel their dull miserable lives by abusing someone unique like you.

**lastniceguy777** · 05-04-2008, 04:49 PM

Originally posted by ILuvTgirlss

Go seek profesional help.You are 1 fucked up bitch.Who cares about your daily rants?Your the most annoying person on this site.
Go cry to your mother since you still live at home with mommy.

I have been on this board for a while, and don't post often; however, why the f*ck would you say that? Do you know what it is like for someone suffering from depression? People need outlets for what goes on in their lives, and if this baord is Barbie's outlet people should respect that and dont read the post and just not comment if they don't agree with her posting...

Barbie - It's tough out there, a lot of people are inconsiderate, and lack the respect to make it in the real world. I wish you luck in overcoming this part of your life

lp · 05-04-2008, 05:21 PM

Originally posted by markerverse View Post

All of the 'rooms' you wish to be in are available. You need only turn the handle of a door and enter. The most beautiful of all is the one occupied by your mother. It's full of warmth, love , encouragement and support. Your transformation of choice no doubt overwhelmed and disarmed her. Her confusion ,like all of her emotions was major. Her tears very real.

Yes .... that's the peace you should be seeking. That's the one embrace you never get enough of. Here's a suggestion.

Give your Mom a telephone call. Tell her you love her so very much. Next try a one on one get together. If she accepts your attending appearance should bear out your respect for her. Though difficult just once, this one time, show up looking as much like the son you are to her. Don't forget to give her that big embrace and hold her gently for a few moments. You'll know what next to do.

If you enter that room your current troubles will melt away.+

oh my god i almost started to cry reading this someone get me a freakin drink damn it

**markerverse** · 05-04-2008, 08:49 PM

Toban -Reply # 4

Your lending your expertise to Barbie's state of mind was impressive and meaningful. I suspect the young lady suffers daily mood swings, some associated with a chemical influence but, most, closely relating to her moderate depression.

Did I also read a short account of your professional qualifications? Very nearly revealing your 'curriculum vitae'. Shows you are eminently capable of dealing effectively with Barbie's perceived/real difficulty.

**aguyoutthere1** · 05-05-2008, 02:14 PM

Barbie, thanks for sharing you innermost feelings. But from what I have read in other posts, you really can be a bitch and you really do seem to enjoy hurting and offending people. It is probably time you started giving to the world what you expect to get from it. You've received some great advice, now it is time to do something about it. People can sugarcoat their advice as much as they want, but I think you need people to be direct with you. You've admitted a problem, I really hope you go out and find the solution. Personally I enjoy your posts and think you can be a really good person. You just don't seem to want to be. Good luck and I hope it all turns out well.

KC

**wellhungone** · 05-06-2008, 06:34 AM

Hhhhhhhummmmmmmmm, barbie in one of your post you mention that you have brothers and you talk to them all the time ? But this post you says "None of my family won't talk to me u know" ?

Which is it

**chiccobello** · 05-06-2008, 03:24 PM

barbie_swallows

well I have never posted on here before, but i really felt for you reading your post so here it goes, firstly you need to have compasion for your family, as mush as you strugled with your own inner idenity , your family is strugling with it also, all your mother wants is the best road for you, but what she sees is a road of pain and sorrow for you, her heart cries for you and she responds the only way she knows how.

then you said,,

{All of the 'rooms' you wish to be in are available. You need only turn the handle of a door and enter. The most beautiful of all is the one occupied by your mother. It's full of warmth, love , encouragement and support. Your transformation of choice no doubt overwhelmed and disarmed her. Her confusion ,like all of her emotions was major. Her tears very real}

There is only one true door avaible for you, that is the door your creator has opened and is waiting for you to enter, there you will find love, peace, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness and mercy , and when your creator frees your conscious mind of guilt, fear, condemenation and opression , your depression will beging to leave you, and as this process takes place in you, as your Creator God begins to restore you to a whole person again, only then will you be wholesome enough to have family relations again and to make the peace, because your mind now has a new view on life.

You have be created with a free will , only you can walk through that door that is open for you, and believe me its a wonderfull door.

thease people can and will help you

http://www.united-church.ca/

lp · 05-06-2008, 03:44 PM

Originally posted by chiccobello View Post

well I have never posted on here before, but i really felt for you reading your post so here it goes, firstly you need to have compasion for your family, as mush as you strugled with your own inner idenity , your family is strugling with it also, all your mother wants is the best road for you, but what she sees is a road of pain and sorrow for you, her heart cries for you and she responds the only way she knows how.

then you said,,

{All of the 'rooms' you wish to be in are available. You need only turn the handle of a door and enter. The most beautiful of all is the one occupied by your mother. It's full of warmth, love , encouragement and support. Your transformation of choice no doubt overwhelmed and disarmed her. Her confusion ,like all of her emotions was major. Her tears very real}

There is only one true door avaible for you, that is the door your creator has opened and is waiting for you to enter, there you will find love, peace, acceptance, compassion, forgiveness and mercy , and when your creator frees your conscious mind of guilt, fear, condemenation and opression , your depression will beging to leave you, and as this process takes place in you, as your Creator God begins to restore you to a whole person again, only then will you be wholesome enough to have family relations again and to make the peace, because your mind now has a new view on life.

You have be created with a free will , only you can walk through that door that is open for you, and believe me its a wonderfull door.

thease people can and will help you

http://www.united-church.ca/

truer words were never spoken good job i hope she reads this with an open mind and an open heart.being different is sometimes hard and it tries your patience but once your confortable in your own skin it gets much easier,barbie is young and beautifull and unfortunatly when your beautifull the genetic girls will stare you up and down and get catty its just part of life we have to deal with but the guys no matter what gay or straight will always be on your side.so hang in there kid what wont kill ya will only make you stronger.

Announcement

"Being A Shemale Is Sometimes Very Depressing"

"Being A Shemale Is Sometimes Very Depressing"

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment