Dr. Andy's Blog

[ams9127X]

This will be a place where I can post things that don't "fit in" anywhere else on here... This could include stories as well as discussion of much more serious topics (not my usually silly posts). Really, I'm alarmed at the way society has moved "backwards" regarding Transgender issues over the last 10 years or so. Especially in the United States... Especially if you live in a "Red" state (like Indiana). I'm an advisor to LGBTQ students at the university where I teach... They have it worse right now than I ever had.

Note: I was a member here 3 years ago. You can find a lot of my old posts under "ams9127" without the "X"... Hope to make some new friends!

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

My First TDOR - 2009

Found this going through my old files this afternoon after talking with a friend of mine. Something serious for a change...

As you know, the Transgender Day of Remembrance is typically celebrated on November 20. The following is something I first posted on the old Transladyboy site way back in 2009. I had just begun my academic career as “Dr. Andy”... Doesn’t seem so long ago now... Or does it?

The last TDOR I attended was in 2020 during the pandemic. It was a "Virtual TDOR" sponsored by The Center in New York. Indianapolis has been inconsistent in holding an annual observance. I try to always attend if I can. A few times since 2009 I've invited friends over for a small ceremony at my home in Zionsville.

Here's my post from 2009:

Just got back home from our “Day of Remembrance” in Indianapolis. Was a very nice evening here (clear and in the 60's). In Indiana you never know what you are going to get--it could be a blizzard, sunshine, or tornadoes--sometimes all three in one day!

The evening's activities started with the play "Transactions." Three actors shared their real-life experiences with transitioning (two M2F, one F2M) and the challenges of living day to day as a transgender individual. What made it more interesting than simply a monologue was that the three acted out each of the scenarios. Each actor played a variety of roles and interacted quite well with the others. Although presenting a serious message, the play was relatively lighthearted, fast moving, and entertaining. I found it very educational as well.

After a 15-minute intermission, the actors and director participated in a panel discussion with the audience. Again, most of the questions were "easy" and along the lines of "does anyone at work know," "when will you perform this again," etc. Many people in the audience shared their own stories--usually with humor. Only when someone asked about how real the threat of violence was did the discussion take a decidedly more serious tone. All of the cast members then related stories involving threats or acts of violence against them or someone they knew. Each one acknowledged that the threat of violence is a very real part of everyday life for transgendered people. One of the cast members shared as how she is always afraid that someone might be following her after work and routinely checks her car to make sure "the tires are OK" and the "check engine light is off” so she will not have to stop in some unknown area on her way home.

The way each of them talked about this you could tell that it was not just something they had "read about" happening to someone else--but had really experienced. All too often. It was pretty sobering. During my lifetime at least (since the 1980's), our society has come to better accept racial and sexual equality. We have made progress in many areas. The only group that still seems broadly discriminated against is the LGBTQ community. It is also a target of brutal violence. That really hit home for me tonight.

The final activity was a candlelight "vigil." This consisted of each person placing several flowers, each with the name of a victim, on a board at the front of the church. While we did that, a multimedia presentation ran showing pictures of many of the victims since 1970. I thought of Angie Zapata.

After placing my flowers, I sat back down and watched the rest of the presentation--again I was stunned by the sheer number of victims as well as the level of brutality in most cases. The fact that some of the victims were "admirers" or had been involved in a relationship with a transwoman was not lost on me either. Eventually Angie's face appeared on screen.

On a much happier note, I made several new friends. "Marg" (not her real name) must have felt sorry for the "big guy by himself" and came over to talk. I also got to meet the cast members. In the lobby there was information on "intraa" (Indiana Transgender Rights Advocacy Alliance) and catered food and drink--Agio's from downtown Indy did a great job!

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

"Porn Addiction?"

There have been many things posted on the Internet and Social Media about masturbation and "addiction to porn"... I was asked by friends on another site years ago if I thought viewing pornography was "bad"... Short Answer: No. I think porn can actually be a good way to explore your sexuality and experience things you might not be able to in real life... I know when I was younger (the early days of the Internet and Social Media) it was awesome to find others who were interested in many of the same things as me or had similar feelings regarding their sexuality. I felt I was not alone... And it never seemed to interfere with any of my relationships.

Forums like this one are a good (and safe) way to share with others.

(FYI: I was a teenager in the late 90’s and early 2000’s... Seriously, the social and political environment is worse today than it was then... Especially in the United States. I am an academic advisor to LGBTQ students as part of my “day job”... They have it harder than I ever did!)

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

“The Rise of Perfect AI Girlfriends is Ruining an Entire Generation of Men”

This title was from an article I read earlier this year. The author was claiming all "Millennial" and "Gen Z" men have been ruined by online pornography. My question was "Where have they been for the last 80-100 years or more?" The culprit THIS time however is "AI"... “Dr. Andy” believes that AI is a technology we should proceed carefully with. For many reasons. Almost all businesses he consults with have either started to use “Generative" and "Predictive" AI technologies or have plans to adopt AI in the near future (92%). I've been integrating AI methods into my Data Analysis and Project Management classes for about 3-4 years now.

Business and Decision Making are one thing... Human relationships are another. I personally don’t see how, at least in the present form, a “virtual girlfriend” could ever replace intimacy with another human being. Some have predicted we might see such gains from AI in approximately 10 years. Really, I haven't totally made up my mind yet where I stand on this issue.

Most of the "girlfriend" apps that I've seen so far just don't work for me... Sorry!

But something like THIS might...

[ams9127X]

"Seagram’s 7 Party Dress"

Guess I have been a member here long enough (both times!) to share this... Hope you enjoy this story. It's 100% true and looking back, explains a little about myself... I thought this blog would be the best place to post it. I’ve never cross-dressed as an adult or ever wanted to transition but there have been a few times during my life, particularly when I was younger, I have wondered what it would be like to live as a woman... I was only about 10 or 11 when this happened.

It was a hot summer afternoon and I was playing upstairs in our house when, for whatever reason, I decided to go into one of the spare bedrooms to look for something... A fifth “bonus room” that my mom used as a “craft/sewing/ironing” room... Of course there would have been nothing in there of interest to a young boy who was mainly into sports, cars, computers, and girls.

Against one wall was a very old dresser (maybe it had been my grandparents?) and curious little me decided to have a look inside... Can’t remember what all was in there but underneath some Christmas ornaments, old books, and tablecloths I found a “Seagram’s 7” paper party dress!

I’ve uploaded a pic that I found somewhere on the Internet so you can see what it was below.

Suddenly I got really “turned on” by the thought of putting it on! I don’t know why... I guess I thought it was “naughty” or something and my little cock became hard... I wasn’t sure where the dress had come from, but my dad worked for GM and entertained business clients frequently. Just for my Canadian friends on here: we lived north of Detroit and used to travel back and forth to New York through Ontario frequently—I’m quite familiar with Highway 401. My dad had a fully stocked “wet bar” in our basement rec room—maybe the dress had been for my mom to wear? It looked “old” (it was in fact from the 60’s so at least 20 years before my time and my parents weren’t married until 1979 so who knows how it got there?) but it was still like new in the plastic wrap as a complete “party set” with coasters and napkins... I thought the model wearing it looked “hot” as well.

Maybe this is why I have a “thing” for 60’s glamour today?

Excited, I took it to my bedroom down the hall and after locking the door, proceeded to strip naked. Although the paper dress looked a little small, I couldn't wait to try it on! I didn’t want to tear it, so I proceeded very carefully. It seemed a little strange at first, putting on a dress, but of course it was also “hot” in a way... On me it was quite a bit shorter than on the model in the picture and I thought my legs, still hairless at that age and tanned from playing outside looked great! The dress was in fact very tight on me and that feeling added to the naughtiness...

I was fully hard by now and sat down on the bed with my legs far apart... (guess our “young Dr. Andy" was a little slut who hadn’t yet learned to keep her legs closed). As I did, the tight paper dress rode up my thighs and I tried to imagine myself as a girl. But with a cock! At that age I had never had sex but understood that girls had something that went "in" instead of out... I also was aware that this funny feeling had something to do with sex...

I knew right then what I had to do...

Pulling the paper skirt up further I was able to jerk my little cock going slowly trying to enjoy the experience. However, it didn’t take very long and soon I had a very powerful orgasm...

It felt awesome but unfortunately, I got cum all over the party dress as well! Shit. What a mess!

Not knowing what to do next, I packed everything up into a plastic trash bag (coasters included) and took it out to a bin in the garage. My mom asked me what I was doing. I said “nothing” then stuffed it under the rest of the garbage. “Trash Day” was the next day and I just hoped nobody would find it. This would take a lot of explaining...

My parents never asked, “what happened to the party dress?” and almost 30 years later, my secret is still safe.

But I couldn't help noticing it's "fire resistant!"

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

“A Special Summer”

This story is about someone who changed my life, and her love will touch my life forever. Guess she's why I'm the person I am today. The setting is a northern suburb of Detroit, Michigan. The time is the late 90’s... Two kids who are not quite teenagers. I’ve changed some of the details of course, but basically this is what actually happened...

They say your first love is something you never get over. You and I are in the same grade although you are just a few months younger than me. Your family lives right down the street from us. Our families are friends and somehow, we just started hanging out together. We are very different in many ways, at 12, I am already over 6 feet tall, and like stuff like computers, cars, motorcycles, video games, working out, and sports, especially football. I am almost a straight “A” student but tend to do crazy things for attention although never anything really bad. I am very knowledgeable about computers and work with some of our teachers outside of class. I set up a web server for our school and know several programming languages. Easily the best athlete in our school, I already have college scouts checking me out. Very outgoing, I am popular with girls and my teachers and often “get away” with stuff others wouldn’t.

By contrast, you are small for your age and very cute, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and freckles, your long hair falling in bangs over your forehead... You tend to wear bright colored tops and since it’s summer, you wear shorts a lot. You have great legs and a nice butt. You are also very smart--like the smartest kid in school. Unlike me, you never act up. You are also a little shy although very self-confident. We have two completely different sets of friends. You always hang out with all the “smart” kids and you are also a talented dancer. Your mom takes you to dance lessons each week and you are part of a kids dance team.

We have been friends for almost a year now. I remember last Fall, you were at one of my games and you smiled at me as I came off the field after scoring a touchdown. I think that was the first time I really noticed you. Getting to know you, I feel like I can tell you things I wouldn’t share with anyone else. I am old enough to understand what “gay” means, and I have always liked girls. But I like you too—in that way... There is something I feel when I’m with you that I don’t feel for my other guy friends. Around you I feel the way I feel around girls. We’ve never talked about any of that but maybe someday we will. Some of the other kids at school have called you names and said you were a “sissy” or worse. I don’t give a fuck what they think about ME, but you are my friend, and I have told them to stop. They have for now but I’m sure they still say shit behind my back.

One day early this summer I drove my uncle’s ’69 Chevelle SS over to your house and gave you a ride around our subdivision. It is a 396 4-speed with a bench seat, and you scooted over so you could be close to me. Our legs touched and you noticed I had a hard-on. You didn’t say anything but you looked up at me and smiled.

In July, my mom took us to the Somerset Mall in Troy and we went shopping and played video games. It was totally different from when I hang out at the mall with my other friends. It felt more like a “date.” I remember looking at clothes and you asked me things like “Would this look good on me?” At one point you even held my hand as we walked around the mall. I can’t imagine any of my other friends doing that!

One night this summer we camped out in your backyard. Nothing happened but I remember talking about what we’d like to do when we grew up... We didn’t fall asleep until it was getting light. I told you things I’ve never told anybody. Really, I’ve never felt closer to anyone... Ever.

Last week we went to King’s Island with our families. It was a long day and maybe the most time we had ever spent together. One thing that I remember was we shared an ice cream cone and when we got down to the end, I almost kissed you!

Thinking about it now I wished I had. I’m not sure how to tell you how I feel about you... Part of it is just my inexperience... Also I’m afraid of losing you as a friend. This weekend, your parents are going to Mackinac Island and you will be staying with us. I am looking forward to spending a few days together. Maybe I’ll be able to tell you how I feel about you... I’m not afraid anymore.

Friday, after football practice, I rode over to your house to pick you up on my Yamaha dirt bike. Really, I wasn’t ready for this... You are wearing red satin running shorts and a bright yellow top that rides up just enough to show off your tummy. You have long athletic socks on that show off your legs. Your hair looks great under your baseball cap which you are wearing backwards. It even looks like you might be wearing a little mascara. And is that lip gloss? “Hi Andy!” you say as you climb on the back and wrap your arms tightly around me.

That afternoon we play videogames and watch TV. Later my mom makes us hot dogs and we eat in the dining room. You are looking at me in a different way, giggling and playing with my feet under the table. You eat your hot dog quite “suggestively”... I never realized you could be so naughty. I love it!

After dinner, we go into the family room. You find some of my parent’s music (disco) to put on and then start “teaching” me how to dance... You are really awesome. At least as good as I am at sports. Despite my athletic ability I have a difficult time keeping up with you. After several dances, the music ends and your body is pressed tightly up against mine. You look up at me... not saying anything. Your blue eyes are really pretty. We kiss. It's just a brief moment but wow! I had first kissed a girl when I was just 6. But this is something else entirely. You just smile at me... Then you take off suddenly “daring” me to try to catch you!

Laughing, we run around downstairs until my mom yells at us to cut it out. We head upstairs to my room slamming the door shut and locking it. We are alone at last. You look at all my sports trophies and also go through my music collection. Our tastes in music are different to say the least! Holding a CD of Vulgar Display of Power by Pantera, you say: “Fucking Hostile? God Andy, do your parents know you listen to this?” I have a picture of the two of us taken the day we went to King’s Island on my dresser. You look at it and say: "That day was really special, I had a great time..."

We sit down on the bed and watch MTV for a while. We both like the song “Semi-Charmed Life” and after a few minutes you kneel behind me rubbing my back. I had landed hard on my shoulder during practice today. You say: “Poor baby...” then giggle. I take your hand and turn around. We are now facing each other kneeling on the bed. I pull you tight up against me. Our little cocks are hard and rub through our shorts. We kiss again, but for much longer this time. Our tongues touch. Stopping, you say: “I’ve always known I was different from other boys, Andy. You are the only guy I’ve ever known who liked me for who I am...”

You add that it was the time I took you for a ride in the Chevelle that you knew for sure I liked you as a girl and wanted to be alone with you... “You never would have let any of your other friends sit next to you... And you would have just stood around and looked at the engine or talked about how fast it would go...” Then you look up at me and say: “Did you know everyone says I’m your girlfriend?”

Right then, my mom knocks on the door. “What are you two doing in there? You better not be smoking!” The moment is ruined, thanks mom... NOT! We reluctantly get down off the bed and open the door.

The rest of the evening we spend watching old movies downstairs. Snuggled up in an oversized recliner, your head resting on my shoulder. You tell me that you have always felt safe with me but that your parents are planning to send you to a private school this Fall because the bullying has gotten to be too much. You hoped that maybe I could also go there because now you are worried about me because people will know we have been together.

Until tonight, I had always known you as “Stephen.” Now you tell me you would like me to call you “Stephanie.” I’ve never been in love before, and wonder if this is how it starts?

We fall asleep together on the couch and sometime during the night, my mom covers us up with a blanket then turns off the TV and goes upstairs.

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

So What Happened?

Here’s the pic I used to accompany the above story in my old WordPress blog... Couldn’t find it last night. “Dr. Andy” and Stephanie look older than “12” however... Must have been when they were HS Seniors and 18...



I always get asked if this story was true. Yes, “Stephanie” was an actual person. Everything pretty much happened like in the story. One time I tried writing about the first time we had sex for my WordPress site but found it difficult... Too personal... Not like writing one of my silly posts! I will say however that it was awesome. We had no idea what we were doing but that's what made it so special. What I remember most is how close to her I felt afterward. It was like we were the only two people on earth. She said something to me after while we were lying there about "Never wanting to go back..." We had ridden to a remote location in the woods near where we lived (it's all expensive homes, businesses, and a Wal-Mart today). I believe she meant all the hate and intolerance she had faced in her young life.

One thing I should add, is that our families were very supportive. Many kids don't have a good home situation. Stephanie's mom and dad as far as I could tell totally accepted her... As did mine. I'm pretty sure my mom thought I might be gay (I once found some literature on "Is your son gay?") but I don't remember any problems over it. She really liked Stephen and then Stephanie. They knew we were best friends anyway. Most kids in our school were OK but there were a few assholes. I could take care of them...

And yes, I really did “borrow” my uncle’s Chevelle to take her for a ride (just around our neighborhood)... My mom was ready to kill my dad and uncle when she found out!

Stephanie transitioned when she was a little older. We dated through HS and remained friends... The last I knew, she was living in New York. My greatest regret of my life is that we couldn’t work things out. I ended up marrying my “ex” (cis) who turned out to be an idiot...

Dr. A

[ams9127X]

My "Ex"?

Shit... It's been 3 years since I was active on here. Had forgotten all about this post. Now I guess everyone knows how I met my "ex"...

I was just reading the thread about “How to join the Trans Porn industry.” One of the posters suggested it was not a good idea for someone who just turned “18” to go this route due to their relative inexperience.

“Dr. Andy” can confirm this. At “18” he tried to work his way through college starring in porn videos but he wasn’t successful. Although for another reason entirely due to his young age...
She’s saying: “Goddammitt Andy! You’re supposed to wait until the director says ‘Action’...”

[ams9127X]

How Do You Know If She Likes You?

The stuff I find on the Internet... But this is always "marriage material"...

[ams9127X]

"But Is It Worth It?"

I remember a discussion of whether or not it was "worth it" if you came too quickly when seeing a provider... Speaking entirely for myself, I'd like to take my time and enjoy the experience... Actually, my ideal date would be a romantic dinner and drinks downtown, then going back to our hotel room...

She's saying: "Dr. Andy, I can make u cum in less than a second... But I guarantee you'll think it's 'worth it' baby (giggle)..."

[ams9127X]

Dating in 2025?

Have a birthday coming up next month. Realized I'm not getting any younger... Online dating apps like Tinder as well as "social media" platforms are competitive, deceptive, and often toxic. Even "Dr. Andy" knows he needs an advantage these days. Maybe I'll give this a try...




Bet I'll get zillions of dates now...

[ams9127X]

Straight Man's Journey (at least my own!)

Here's something I've shared with my friends on other sites... I get asked questions all the time about "am I gay or straight"?

Whichever way you identify... Gay, Trans, Bi, or Straight... It's all good!

Dr. Andy on 18 August 2025, 11:29 PM said:

For me it all started with a friend of mine when were both very young (11-12)... He was very feminine, small, and "super-cute"... We used to hang out a lot as his family lived right down the street from us. Before that, I had never been attracted to other guys that way... But he was an exception... He acted (and looked) more like a girl... I've written about our relationship ("A Special Summer") and also posted about it on the Transladyboy site several years ago when I was a member there. She was the first person I ever had sex with and hers was the first cock I ever sucked. Really, I wouldn't have ever thought about doing that with another guy!

Throughout HS and college I played football and worked as a personal trainer at a local gym and was never attracted to anybody who could have been described as "stereotypically male"... I never considered myself gay (I think my parents suspected I may have been) although I do have gay friends. Two bodybuilders I used to train with regularly were gay but I was never attracted to them "that way." Other than a few encounters with cute guys in college and one relationship with a transwoman I met after my first marriage, all of my sexual experiences have been with cisgender women. In fact I've been married twice to cisgender women.

So I guess I've always been attracted to both girls and very feminine guys. When I was a teenager (late 90's - early 2000's) I remember discovering "t-girl" porn on the Internet and finding it extremely hot... And not so unusual given my early experiences. It just seemed, well, normal. A beautiful girl with a cock! Such a turn-on!!!

As for "gay" porn... Not really, although there have been some "scenes" that I've whacked off to... Sometimes it's just a pic or video, or maybe a hot story... But for the most part, strictly gay porn doesn't work for me...

The Internet has always been a great place to meet people with similar interests. When I was younger it was awesome to realize I was not alone. Shit... I'm old enough to remember dial-up modems and "Usenet." I always kept my door locked so my mom wouldn't catch me beating off...

In college I studied Psychology for a while, but it never really helped me to understand where these feelings came from. Good thing I was much better with computers and technology and switched majors... My guess is all of this has something to do with the way we are "wired"... From birth?

I remember liking a lot of the things as a young kid that I do now... Clearly others do too!

In real-life I'm active in the Indianapolis community. After years of reflection, I've decided that I am a "straight ally" as I do not really identify exclusively as gay or bi... But I'm not sure that I'm not... I can't really identify as trans... So I'm not exactly sure how I fit in? "Ally" seems to work. I don't really worry about it however... I get tired of seeing posts "insisting" that you must be gay simply because you are attracted to a woman with a penis. These users mistakenly assume that "the cock" is the only thing one is attracted to. This site is better than most in that respect.

Remember, NO ONE can determine for you how you self-identify...

There are a few people on this site that are friends from TLB who know me pretty well... A couple of moderators from TLB and at least one member from AST also know me outside of the forums.

To say I'm extremely disappointed in the direction our society has taken, becoming less tolerant over the last 10-15 years would be an understatement! Especially in the United States. I've been an adviser to LGBTQ students at my university since 2016. I can say for certain my students today face less acceptance and more challenges than just 10 years ago.

Forums like this are relatively safe. And a means of friendship and support for many of us...

Dr. A