a question for the girls...

[kick2000]

i am male
i prefer shemal and live shemals in the world

[Wiseone26]

i am male
i prefer shemal and live shemals in the world

And this has to do with the thread in what way

[kick2000]

To have sex it is felt from all the depths of her heart

and if you are shemals you know that or you are never sexy with men

[Tasha Jones RIP]

Thank You

Wow. I am truly touched by the responses that have been made in this post. You guys have really shocked me in a very good way and made me feel overwhelmed with emotions when I am reading your comments. I did not expect this type of response at all, but it is truly welcomed from all of you.


When I first wrote this, I was so nerves as to what the response might be. From both the ladies & gentlemen. I was worried that it was a bit to personal and maybe some of you might not have wanted to hear the other side of my life. This might destroy that fantasy in your heads about who I really am. I guess I was wrong.


Some of you who have known me for years knows that I used to write about my life years ago. It was more sexual then personal, but there was some personal story's in my writings. I stopped doing this because some of the feed back was not always so kind and to be honest business slowed down because I was getting to personal. This was told to me by a couple of the guys at the events I used to go to. They felt now that they knew so much about my personal life, they felt like they knew me to much and that sexual fantasy they were looking for was gone. So I stopped because a girls gotta pay the bills.


But what I did find when sharing my life with my online friends was this. It gave me a since of piece and it was for me like seeing a shrink. It got it out of my system so I was able to deal with my past/current issues in my own way. I choice writing rather then drugs or partying all the time.


Again, thank you guys so much for turning a simple question/answer into something that has truly touched my heart and made me telling part of my life worthwhile.


Now onto some points.


Blueguad-


I do remember you, you have one of those easy to remember names. We used to have many interesting conversations about many different topics. As most of you know by my long winded writings, I am not different in person. I love to talk. In most of my reviews it does say just that.


Maybe my words came across harsh when I talked about clients. I did not mean that every client made me feel like a used blow up doll. I do not feel that way, there have been some clients, like yourself, who have been a wonderful experience in my life. Some clients become almost friends like you were. There have also been some clients who I have had the most wonderful sex with it and has been enjoyable by both party's. Oh and those massages, that I do truly enjoy.


But most of the great sex came from those wonderful conversations I was able to have with them. It was not just a 20 minute money, fuck and out the door. I perfer to talk and get to know you and you know me. It works for some clients others just want that quick bang, but I am open for both situations.


I was really only talking in general and sometimes how I felt myself as an escort. This has nothing to do with how you/clients made me feel. No matter how confident you are as an escort or yourself, there is going to be those days when you question how your living your life and the choices you have made. There is going to be those clients who really do treat you like a blow up doll. They are more worried about what they want then by how there treatment of your body makes you feel. But this is part of our job like any other job. There is also rewards with this job and that is guys like you and many others on this board who first and foremost treat us like people not a random sex toy.


We make a choice to do this for a living. In all honesty, we could go out and get a normal job. Yes, it would be tight on money, but people do it everyday. There are Transsexuals who are working a normal job and getting by just fine. It can be done but we choice not to do that and that is the point. For me, it was a way to get out and save myself. Now it does not bother me that this is what I have chosen to do with my life. I live with that choice because I have other things in my life that complete me.


Again and most important to me, there are people like you who do care about me as a person. You do not think of me as some random sex toy. You truly do care and want our time together to be enjoyable. Which for the most part I do enjoy being with you guys. I have always said, it is not always about the money for me.


So if I offended you/anyone in anyway, I am sorry, I was not trying to offend you guys. I was also not saying that every client is like that. You get the good and the bad like anything else in life. But the rewards sometimes make the bad worth it in the end.




Thanks again, you have all made my day
Tasha

[Wiseone26]

Tasha, you have my total respect. Kudos!

To the guys that have like 2 line comments that have nothing to do with the topic. All I can say is sigh! I wanted this thread directed to the girls it even said in the thread topic. sigh!

[bluequad]

Tasha, Thank you for being such a sweet and wonderful person. Paula, my apologies for posting in this thread. I didn't mean to horn in where I didn't belong. I guess I should have paid closer attention to the thread title! I got so caught up in what Tasha wrote that it never dawned on me who the thread was written for.

[Wiseone26]

Tasha, Thank you for being such a sweet and wonderful person. Paula, my apologies for posting in this thread. I didn't mean to horn in where I didn't belong. I guess I should have paid closer attention to the thread title! I got so caught up in what Tasha wrote that it never dawned on me who the thread was written for.

Tis ok, at least you noticed but yea to me this is a serious topic that I wanted some insight on. I understand, Tasha's reply was amazing, I didn't expect that much.

[Tia Phoenixx]

The last few days I've been thinking about a few things. After seeing all the disputes and catfights on here made me think about something.

How do you girls deal with the emotions and or mental aspects of escorting? I know it might be a bit of a survival instinct. I know correct me if I'm wrong getting stuck in a rut due to easy money. But getting to the heart of the matter how do you block the emotional side?

pm's are fine

Ok Paula, I promise Mr.Kink to tell my personal story.
Here is my answer to your question and some inputs:

First of all, it's NOT easy money.
I personally think when we really give a great service to our clients, we really deserve our donation.

Escorting business requires not only beauty, stamina, and sexual expertise but also a strong mind, charisma, and outgoing personality.
This is a service orientated business after all.

Men come to see us to have fun:
to have their sexual fantasies fulfilled as well as to have a nice, good conversation with us.

How do we deal with the mental aspect and emotion?

Honestly, i don't have any problem with that.
Me and my regulars are friends in the best sense of the world as well as..err..yes.. sexual companion (yes..sex is part of it..that's true)

It all depends on how you market yourself in this business.
(If you promote yourself by showing your explicit xxx pics, you may encounter much more problems, since you are exposing yourself more as a sex object, rather than a companion.)


However, in any case:
Strong mind, charisma and outgoing personality are very important especially when you meet new clients.

We have to make them feel comfortable, but at the same time, we have to have full power/control of the situation.
This charisma and mental power are especially important to avoid any unnecessary experience (abuse, theft, harrassement).

When clients know that we are in control and confident with ourselves, we can minimize these risks.

Ok, here is a brief personal story of me:
I left my parents' house at 16, started escorting from that age, On and Off, not continously. There was time when i did not work as an escort at all.
The money is always good, but that is not what i'm proud of.

I only have few things that i'm very proud about myself:
1. I never forget to pursue my education.
Good education is always on my priority list.
Hopefully i can use my degree more appropriately by the time i'm retired from this business.

2. I never forget that i come from a very poor family, and I know my time as an escort is very very short. So i save my money since day one.

3. I never attempt to take drugs or do some risky stuff that can jeopardize my life.
Oh..i simply love being healthy, alive, and positive...

4. I always think of how to improve my life for the better future.

So yes, actually my story is a success story.
I prefer not to tell about my success further but ...
I'm fine...and hopefully will be fine as well in the future.

I hope ALL of us will be fine.
It all starts with a good, realistic, positive ambition coupled with the right set of mind.

[kristopin]

sorry Paula

sorry Paula, i need to also ask a question that may help everyone here, including the men.

i see a lot of posts about the sex trade and money and the need for it for surgeries, SRS etc.

does the health care system do anything for SRS?

if you have to fund your transition and surgeries, could someone put a list of costs.

is there anyway that SRS and transition be achieved without going into the sex trade?

these are just a few thoughts i had and wanted to post them to get an idea of everyones real world. perhaps if the men understand the costs etc then they will have a greater appreciation of your struggles and your strengths.

perhaps if we know the real issues with the health care system and transition then we can start thinking about getting involved in the fight for equal medical rights.

Paula i understand your dilema.

[Wiseone26]

Sorry just got woken up by kids screaming and stomping on the floor upstairs, gotta luv 4 hours of sleep and having to work a graveyard shift.

Tia, It wasn't how you market yourself or anything. It was the mental aspect, pushing aside emotions, pushing aside your morals/upbringing. I apologize ahead of time for my foul mood, I'm just tired. It's not about success or not. How your clients perceive you. It's you, you inside how your heads deals with it. I talked to a local girl and her first few times she tore herself apart inside, she just cried uncontrollably until after she just got cold and heartless.

kristopin, Has very little to do with surgery, well maybe a bit. It is more directed to quality of life, which includes mental stability. You have sex with complete strangers day in day out. Mentally there has to be a breaking point in all of us. It changes people, some in ways that others don't understand.

--edit--

I think about starting again, but there is some emotional aspect I can't get past that prevents me from getting back into it. And thats was the basis of my question.

how do you push past the fear if it is fear?
how do you push past the walls you put up if there was prior abuse?
how do you throw your morals to the wind?

This is a serious topic for many and I'm beginning to think that cause the nature of the board it might not be the right place to ask a question like this. Or maybe some are just afraid to post anything. I still think Tasha's reply is as close to a real answer I'll get.


Like I said I'm tired, cranky and somewhat rambling or even if this post makes sense. . I'm not here to offend anyone I'm the last person that should pass judgement or offend anyone.

[Tasha Jones RIP]

Some more points

Paula,


I did not know you lived in Vancouver. I did as well back in 92-95. It was the worst place I ever lived and it changed me forever. I would not recommended it to any girl starting out. It is filled with so much drugs and hatred that no matter how much you try to avoid it, it seems to always find you.


For me, it is not what I do for a living, it is how I choice to look at it. If you look at it from a point of trying to get to where you need to be and to be able to live the life you wish. If you look at it as a business and do it the right way. If you do it on your own terms and by your own rules. If you are able to see that this, like any other job has it good and bad days or good and bad people.


If you do all that, then you might be able to live with your choice. But no amount of answers on this board or from anyone else will help with your choice. No matter how many times you ask yourself or others, the answer will always be the same. You have to live with yourself. You have to deal with how this will make you feel. You yourself are the only one who can say what is right and what is wrong at the end of the day.


How I feel or deal with it is in no way going to tell you how you will feel about it or will deal with it 10 years down the road when thinking back. We have to judge ourselves because no one is able to do that for us. No one is living in our shoes or has lived the life we have had to live. So unless you are at peace with yourself and your choices it will never work no mater what you do in life.


About SRS. Yes, the government does now pay for this. But it is a very long wait list and the hoops you have to go though do more damage to your mental state. In a way there job is to weed out the ?real? Transsexual's from the ?fake? Transsexuals. This can be very hard on someone who is just trying to deal with what life gave them. They also only do the basic needs to give you a pussy. There is allot more that needs to be done to make it a complete working part of you. To make you complete is not really what their there for. It is sad but very true.


The government also does not cover the cost of hair removal and other things we need to do to feel and look like woman. Now some girls do not go and get all the surgery's because they other do not wish to or they do not need to. But we all have to do hair removal, facial treatments and other things that cost allot of money. Also Breast implants. Pills can only give you so much. I paid $6000.00 for mine, the government would not cover this.


For example, just to have our face free of hair and to look smooth. Your looking at a minimum of $600.00 a month. That does not include the cost of make-up which for me I spend about $100 a month. Then if you wish to have other treatments, like waxing, tanning, toning and some extras. That is anther $200 to $300 a month. In total for me it is between $700 to $900 a month. That is just the basics.


I have to agree with Paula, Tia, I think you might have missed the point of this tread. It has nothing to do with marketing yourself or being the best escort out there. It also has very little to do with control or how good your treat your clients. Because as we have all seen, you can have all the control in the world but one bad client and your done. It just takes one.


But I will agree with you that confidence plays a huge role in how you as a person are able to deal with being an escort. But you can also not be ashamed of who you are and what you have done in your life. In my personal post I explained that, if I could go back, I would never have started escorting. But that does not mean now that I can not change it, that I am ashamed of who I am as an escort. Nor does it mean that I do not truly enjoy my life as an escort. I have the freedom to enjoy it because I am able to work when I wish to work or take weeks or months off at anytime without worrying about money. I have other things in my life that complete me and fulfill my needs. That is how I personal am able to still have a good outlook on this life and my choices in this life.


I am not saying that money is not important or I do not need to work to make money. It is very important for me to be able to live my life. But what I am saying is that, I am able to pick and choice my clients and when I feel like seeing clients. Not all girls have this option, they have no other choice but to see 3-5 clients a day just to get by. That used to be me at one time.


I know that when I travel, I see way more clients then I do when I am at home. For that short week, I can handle it. But if I was to do that everyday, I do not think I would be able to deal with it. I would give poor service because I was not happy with what I was, in a way forced to do.


As well, most of my clients have known me for many of years. So they do not go to my website or sites like this to find me. Most have had my number or other ways to get a hold of me. Those are the clients I really enjoy seeing because, like what you said Tia, there more like friends with some extras.


Anyways just my thoughts
Tasha

[Wiseone26]

Paula,


I did not know you lived in Vancouver. I did as well back in 92-95. It was the worst place I ever lived and it changed me forever. I would not recommended it to any girl starting out. It is filled with so much drugs and hatred that no matter how much you try to avoid it, it seems to always find you.


For me, it is not what I do for a living, it is how I choice to look at it. If you look at it from a point of trying to get to where you need to be and to be able to live the life you wish. If you look at it as a business and do it the right way. If you do it on your own terms and by your own rules. If you are able to see that this, like any other job has it good and bad days or good and bad people.


If you do all that, then you might be able to live with your choice. But no amount of answers on this board or from anyone else will help with your choice. No matter how many times you ask yourself or others, the answer will always be the same. You have to live with yourself. You have to deal with how this will make you feel. You yourself are the only one who can say what is right and what is wrong at the end of the day.


How I feel or deal with it is in no way going to tell you how you will feel about it or will deal with it 10 years down the road when thinking back. We have to judge ourselves because no one is able to do that for us. No one is living in our shoes or has lived the life we have had to live. So unless you are at peace with yourself and your choices it will never work no mater what you do in life.


About SRS. Yes, the government does now pay for this. But it is a very long wait list and the hoops you have to go though do more damage to your mental state. In a way there job is to weed out the “real” Transsexual's from the “fake” Transsexuals. This can be very hard on someone who is just trying to deal with what life gave them. They also only do the basic needs to give you a pussy. There is allot more that needs to be done to make it a complete working part of you. To make you complete is not really what their there for. It is sad but very true.


The government also does not cover the cost of hair removal and other things we need to do to feel and look like woman. Now some girls do not go and get all the surgery's because they other do not wish to or they do not need to. But we all have to do hair removal, facial treatments and other things that cost allot of money. Also Breast implants. Pills can only give you so much. I paid $6000.00 for mine, the government would not cover this.


For example, just to have our face free of hair and to look smooth. Your looking at a minimum of $600.00 a month. That does not include the cost of make-up which for me I spend about $100 a month. Then if you wish to have other treatments, like waxing, tanning, toning and some extras. That is anther $200 to $300 a month. In total for me it is between $700 to $900 a month. That is just the basics.


I have to agree with Paula, Tia, I think you might have missed the point of this tread. It has nothing to do with marketing yourself or being the best escort out there. It also has very little to do with control or how good your treat your clients. Because as we have all seen, you can have all the control in the world but one bad client and your done. It just takes one.


But I will agree with you that confidence plays a huge role in how you as a person are able to deal with being an escort. But you can also not be ashamed of who you are and what you have done in your life. In my personal post I explained that, if I could go back, I would never have started escorting. But that does not mean now that I can not change it, that I am ashamed of who I am as an escort. Nor does it mean that I do not truly enjoy my life as an escort. I have the freedom to enjoy it because I am able to work when I wish to work or take weeks or months off at anytime without worrying about money. I have other things in my life that complete me and fulfill my needs. That is how I personal am able to still have a good outlook on this life and my choices in this life.


I am not saying that money is not important or I do not need to work to make money. It is very important for me to be able to live my life. But what I am saying is that, I am able to pick and choice my clients and when I feel like seeing clients. Not all girls have this option, they have no other choice but to see 3-5 clients a day just to get by. That used to be me at one time.


I know that when I travel, I see way more clients then I do when I am at home. For that short week, I can handle it. But if I was to do that everyday, I do not think I would be able to deal with it. I would give poor service because I was not happy with what I was, in a way forced to do.


As well, most of my clients have known me for many of years. So they do not go to my website or sites like this to find me. Most have had my number or other ways to get a hold of me. Those are the clients I really enjoy seeing because, like what you said Tia, there more like friends with some extras.


Anyways just my thoughts
Tasha

Right, I totally agree Tasha. but it comes down to money to transition. Honestly I've been transitioning on next to no money. Hence why the question of getting back into escort (my original stint was short , like a few months) I admire myself for having a paying taxes type job, But at $900/month and over half going to rent. I'm in a rut. I've been transitioning since 2005 when I came out, Been fulltime for almost 3 years. But the costs like hair removal and such that I can't afford. Medical covers my meds, but I have no life. I can't go out cause I can't afford to and if i do I screw my budget. ie, living on mac'n'cheese with wieners for a week. Which sucks, but some may say it is food. Sure but for someone with diabetes it isn't healthy.

(I know one person who I thought of as family. If she reads this she would be like "you whine about this , you whine about that it's always the same stuff" This is from a girl that escorts. This is also from someone that would rather make the $200/hour then work a tax paying job and has no time for a 9-5 job. So there is a rut. argh! if she reads this she'll get all bitchy.)

So I wrestle with the fact one side of me wants to get back into it for that lil extra money that will/might give me some happiness. But the other side my emotions and such prevent me. So what is someone to do. so yea to get the money you have to first get past the mental aspects. Some can just do it without recourse.

Your right Vancouver is tough, I thought I had friends but they turned out to be liars, users and just empty friends. Currently I have nothing in Vancouver, I'm beginning to hate it here. And I think that is one side of it. Transition alone without a support network is not fun. Hence why I'm contemplating a relocation to someplace new.

[Tasha Jones RIP]

yes but no

Paula,


The sad fact is, no mater where you move your problems come with you. I have learned this lesson time and time again. But there are support groups out there for Transsexuals. I personal have never been to one. The reason is, most Transsexuals who are not escorts look down on those of us that are escorts. So for me it would cause more stress then help.


I also have diabetes, I take insulin 4 times a day. Trust me, there have been days when I was broke and had to try to make a healthy meal on next to nothing. That box of KD was a god sent and filled me up. So I do not think anyone can judge you for having to do what you have to do. Truth be told and I will never admit this later...I total love KD...lol


I also had a tax paying job. It does feel good to file those taxes and feel like you have done something right. But there is also girls who are in this business who file taxes for there earnings. Now are they giving the real amount, probably not. But at least there making an effort, but again if they do or they don't it really should not matter. As well when I was running my webcam business I filed taxes and it was a good way to write allot of what I was spending on myself under my business


As I emailed you, there are other ways you can make money other then seeing clients. You can do webcam shows or some modeling work. There are lots of pay per view sites out there that you can work for yourself on your own times. Many girls also use yahoo to do it.


I am not promoting the club...but there is Goodhandys. It is a great place on Monday & Tuesday nights were it is more quite and you can meet other girls who are just starting out. Also, meeting guys there might make you feel safer. You get to talk to them and see if you click. This is a way to not spend money. They have no cover nights and most guys will buy you a drink or two. You can meet great people and maybe if you meet the right person maybe make some money. I would not go on Thursday nights, that is really has allot of the working girls there to work.


For myself when I was a guest at the club on those two nights. I spent most of the night talking to different girls & lots of the guys. It is more social on those nights and has less working girls. There are allot of girls that I met there that were in the same boat as you.


Tasha

[Lani]

Happiness and Love from people will carry you thru, no matter what your game in life

You are a beautiful person Paula you can do whatever you will put your mind to, but it must be your will not against. I wish you happiness.

[Tia Phoenixx]

Sorry just got woken up by kids screaming and stomping on the floor upstairs, gotta luv 4 hours of sleep and having to work a graveyard shift.

Tia, It wasn't how you market yourself or anything. It was the mental aspect, pushing aside emotions, pushing aside your morals/upbringing. I apologize ahead of time for my foul mood, I'm just tired. It's not about success or not. How your clients perceive you. It's you, you inside how your heads deals with it. I talked to a local girl and her first few times she tore herself apart inside, she just cried uncontrollably until after she just got cold and heartless.

kristopin, Has very little to do with surgery, well maybe a bit. It is more directed to quality of life, which includes mental stability. You have sex with complete strangers day in day out. Mentally there has to be a breaking point in all of us. It changes people, some in ways that others don't understand.

--edit--

I think about starting again, but there is some emotional aspect I can't get past that prevents me from getting back into it. And thats was the basis of my question.

how do you push past the fear if it is fear?
how do you push past the walls you put up if there was prior abuse?
how do you throw your morals to the wind?

This is a serious topic for many and I'm beginning to think that cause the nature of the board it might not be the right place to ask a question like this. Or maybe some are just afraid to post anything. I still think Tasha's reply is as close to a real answer I'll get.


Like I said I'm tired, cranky and somewhat rambling or even if this post makes sense. . I'm not here to offend anyone I'm the last person that should pass judgement or offend anyone.

OMG..u r such a sweet, sensitive girl..and i`m just a horny slut with little emotion with regards to sex. Sex is just sex...let`s enjoy the pure biological activities without any complication.

Actually, i have told u that i did not have any mental or emotion problem at all when i meet and sleep with my clients even a new ones.
I guess, i`m used to being promiscuous and sex comes naturally..so easy...without any mental hindrance and complication.

Sorry then, i cannot answer your question. And yes, I agree that my personal story is just an added info.

However, this is also a proven case that NOT EVERYBODY CAN BE AN ESCORT.

I haven`t read Tasha reply..i`m going to read it right now..