and now its time for humour

[maddplotter]

A really drunk guy at a party walks up to the host and asks, ?Do you have some green toilet paper that says, ?Fuck you

The host, stunned, answers, ?Of course I don?t have any green toilet paper that says, ?Fuck you.??

?Oh, no!? the drunk cries. ?I?m really sorry?I think I just wiped my ass with your parrot.?

[maddplotter]

How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?

10 little piggies
2 calves
1 ass
1 beaver
A bunch of hares and
1 fish that no one can find.


..but for this website, it's 1 cock instead of the beaver :-)

[Rose]

Haha. These are great.

[maddplotter]

I got two more:

"Hey, congratulations to former President Bill Clinton. He
traveled to North Korea today, met with Kim Jong-Il and won
the release of those two female journalists. It was great
for Obama to use Clinton that way. I think I know how he got
him to go over there. You know, he's probably like, 'Bill,
I need you to go to North Korea for me.' 'I can't do it.
I'm completely booked. I have numerous obligations.' 'I want
you to visit a woman's prison.' 'What time's my flight?'"
--Jimmy Fallon

*********************************************

The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said,
"Children, if you could have one raw material in the world,
what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold,
because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a
Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little
Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum
is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The
teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."

The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone?"

"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see
all the sports cars outside our house!"

(.) (.)

FTW!

[tslisaparadise]

I got two more:

"Hey, congratulations to former President Bill Clinton. He
traveled to North Korea today, met with Kim Jong-Il and won
the release of those two female journalists. It was great
for Obama to use Clinton that way. I think I know how he got
him to go over there. You know, he's probably like, 'Bill,
I need you to go to North Korea for me.' 'I can't do it.
I'm completely booked. I have numerous obligations.' 'I want
you to visit a woman's prison.' 'What time's my flight?'"
--Jimmy Fallon

*********************************************

The science teacher stood in the front of the class and said,
"Children, if you could have one raw material in the world,
what would it be?"

Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold,
because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a
Corvette." The teacher nodded, and then she called on little
Susie.

Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum
is worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche." The
teacher smiled, and then she called on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicone."

The teacher said, "Silicone? Why silicone?"

"Because my mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see
all the sports cars outside our house!"

(.) (.)

FTW!

roflmfao, now thats too funny

[ssster2009]

Finally we are having some fun, way too much anger around lately this is sooo much better.

Now what do you look for in a girl big fake tits or a big hard cock?
or how bout this "I think barbie has a point"

Only kidding its good to see that everyone can get along at least for some period of time.

Peace

[tslisaparadise]

Finally we are having some fun, way too much anger around lately this is sooo much better.

Now what do you look for in a girl big fake tits or a big hard cock?
or how bout this "I think barbie has a point"

Only kidding its good to see that everyone can get along at least for some period of time.

Peace

oh ya its nice to be able to sleep at night now lol

[maddplotter]

Yes, let's all have a group hug. Excuse the lump in my pants.


Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
A.) So men can be open minded.

[kristopin]

more

oh ya its nice to be able to sleep at night now lol

more fun not alone.

[Wiseone26]

what more can be said...

[toban]

My what big lips you have!

what more can be said...

I'm thought I knew that tree so well, but this is so hard to believe.

[ssster2009]

Golf deception

I tried to upload this video file but not being the smoothest with computer tools was unsuccessful, this is the jist of it.

The husbands getting ready to tee off on the first hole, stops, informs wife he has something to tell her and the guilt has finally got to him. "Honey I'm sorry but shortly after we were maried I had an affair".
She thinks about it and forgives him his transgression.
They walk the next 17 holes when the wife is getting ready to tee off on 18.
"Honey I too have been keeping something from you. Honey before I met you and we married all those years ago I, I, I had a sex change, Honey I used to be a man"
He stares at her in astonishment and then anger takes over. Fuck, he slams his club FUCK, he kicks the tee marker, FUCK he throws his club

he turns to his wife who now has a look of fear on her face and says

"and all this time you've been using the ladies tee"

[maddplotter]

I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating.

I asked why. She said, "Because I am trying to examine you!"

[Swordfight101]

what do u call a Mexican who's lost his car?

Carlos

what do u call a brown guy between two buildings?

Ali (Alley)

[kristopin]

funny

what more can be said...

ya got weird trees in BC. too much herb and mushrooms.


chuckle chuckle