Fellas in relationships how do you justify seeing escorts?

[rasclaat]

Just curious, I miss the excitement of see tgirls but don?t think I can do it while in a relationship. Do you feel guilty? Do they know ?

[Diesel69]

It may be wrong ,

But I look at it differently, I consider it like therapy.

Its cheaper than therapy, and it fills the void I'm missing in my marriage. It makes my marriage happier Believe it or not it keeps my almost sexless marriage and family together.
I could leave my wife of 15 years but that means my two kids would be with split parents or keep doing what I am doing and secretly see a girl (or Tgirl) every 3-4 weeks and focus on being a good dad to my kids.

How wrong is it really? Yes it is not honest but very few people are honest in this world about everything. Its just some people just tell less lies than others ..............and often the truth hurts and sometimes things are best left unsaid. After all we are only human.

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money. I know she does not spend $600 on groceries every week. I'm not stupid I know she gets cash back with every debit transaction everywhere she goes.......I just don't ask.

[NeedaTSgirl]

It may be wrong ,

But I look at it differently, I consider it like therapy.

Its cheaper than therapy, and it fills the void I'm missing in my marriage. It makes my marriage happier Believe it or not it keeps my almost sexless marriage and family together.
I could leave my wife of 15 years but that means my two kids would be with split parents or keep doing what I am doing and secretly see a girl (or Tgirl) every 3-4 weeks and focus on being a good dad to my kids.

How wrong is it really? Yes it is not honest but very few people are honest in this world about everything. Its just some people just tell less lies than others ..............and often the truth hurts and sometimes things are best left unsaid. After all we are only human.

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money. I know she does not spend $600 on groceries every week. I'm not stupid I know she gets cash back with every debit transaction everywhere she goes.......I just don't ask.

This is a great reply! Nicely thought out.

[Vic Durando]

It may be wrong ,

But I look at it differently, I consider it like therapy.

Its cheaper than therapy, and it fills the void I'm missing in my marriage. It makes my marriage happier Believe it or not it keeps my almost sexless marriage and family together.
I could leave my wife of 15 years but that means my two kids would be with split parents or keep doing what I am doing and secretly see a girl (or Tgirl) every 3-4 weeks and focus on being a good dad to my kids.

How wrong is it really? Yes it is not honest but very few people are honest in this world about everything. Its just some people just tell less lies than others ..............and often the truth hurts and sometimes things are best left unsaid. After all we are only human.

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money. I know she does not spend $600 on groceries every week. I'm not stupid I know she gets cash back with every debit transaction everywhere she goes.......I just don't ask.

could not have said it better!

[bb420]

Ok, so you can justify it by lying, keeping secrets and not feeling bad about it.
Cool.

[justvisiting2016]

Ok, so you can justify it by lying, keeping secrets and not feeling bad about it.
Cool.

I believe his point is that both sides of the marriage are keeping a few secrets and lying to one another; and they are not harming the family or marriage on a whole as they are there for the kids.

Monogamy is a terrible thing anyways, it is not natural for humans to do that , hence why we have people going outside of their marriages over and over again for as long as our culture has been preaching monogamy. We are fighting our natural instincts due to a societal construct that was pushed hard by religion for centuries.

Yes, you are lying, and yes you are breaking a vow you made. But you know what, plenty of men will vouch that by having this, they take that pressure/expectation away from their wives. And by doing that, it frees up a lot of the marriage stress to focus on all the good things about the wife. Instead of being a miserable guy being nearly celibate because his wife is not into it, resenting her, and eventually having a dead marriage. It actually can, and does, allow for a much better marriage if you are married to someone who can not fill your sexual needs. THe escort can not fill the emotional needs a good wife can. Spreading your desires out can lead to healthier relationships.

The reality is more important than a set of rules and dogma about lying and cheating.

[Diesel69]

I believe his point is that both sides of the marriage are keeping a few secrets and lying to one another; and they are not harming the family or marriage on a whole as they are there for the kids.

Monogamy is a terrible thing anyways, it is not natural for humans to do that , hence why we have people going outside of their marriages over and over again for as long as our culture has been preaching monogamy. We are fighting our natural instincts due to a societal construct that was pushed hard by religion for centuries.

Yes, you are lying, and yes you are breaking a vow you made. But you know what, plenty of men will vouch that by having this, they take that pressure/expectation away from their wives. And by doing that, it frees up a lot of the marriage stress to focus on all the good things about the wife. Instead of being a miserable guy being nearly celibate because his wife is not into it, resenting her, and eventually having a dead marriage. It actually can, and does, allow for a much better marriage if you are married to someone who can not fill your sexual needs. THe escort can not fill the emotional needs a good wife can. Spreading your desires out can lead to healthier relationships.

The reality is more important than a set of rules and dogma about lying and cheating.

thanks justvisiting ,This is exactly what I meant but explained in more depth

[justvisiting2016]

^PS - the cashback on groceries is classic, isn't it

I think most marriages have that skimming going on.. haha. I remember my dad with his 2nd wife, after they got divorced he was thinking back and wondering how the hell their grocery bills were so high. I told him "cashback".. I had to explain it but when they are two people in their early 60s and the grocery bill is 600 bucks a week, he was naive to say the least

[bluequad]

It may be wrong ,

But I look at it differently, I consider it like therapy.

Its cheaper than therapy, and it fills the void I'm missing in my marriage. It makes my marriage happier Believe it or not it keeps my almost sexless marriage and family together.
I could leave my wife of 15 years but that means my two kids would be with split parents or keep doing what I am doing and secretly see a girl (or Tgirl) every 3-4 weeks and focus on being a good dad to my kids.

How wrong is it really? Yes it is not honest but very few people are honest in this world about everything. Its just some people just tell less lies than others ..............and often the truth hurts and sometimes things are best left unsaid. After all we are only human.

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money. I know she does not spend $600 on groceries every week. I'm not stupid I know she gets cash back with every debit transaction everywhere she goes.......I just don't ask.

I agree with the others that this is a well thought out reply but I started laughing to myself thinking about how a confrontation would go....

Wife: So you go see escorts? You cheat on me? You see Tgirls?
Rasclaat: Yeah, well, ummm, errr, You have on new shoes!

[mattsk22]

Ok, so you can justify it by lying, keeping secrets and not feeling bad about it.
Cool.

well, imagine having to suppress an important part of yourself for your entire life, something that most people wont ever understand.... thats not great either.

[Diesel69]

I agree with the others that this is a well thought out reply but I started laughing to myself thinking about how a confrontation would go....

Wife: So you go see escorts? You cheat on me? You see Tgirls?
Rasclaat: Yeah, well, ummm, errr, You have on new shoes!

Well, I never started the post but I can’t believe how much attention my actual reply got to the posters question. I guess it makes me feel better that I’m not alone on my thoughts. Thanks guys for making me feel a little better about it! I know it’s not completely right but maybe somewhat justifiable

[KelliBlueEyes]

well, imagine having to suppress an important part of yourself for your entire life, something that most people wont ever understand.... thats not great either.

Transexuals can't understand that. We "come out" pretty much every day of our lives.

[Bawb]

I believe his point is that both sides of the marriage are keeping a few secrets and lying to one another; and they are not harming the family or marriage on a whole as they are there for the kids.

Monogamy is a terrible thing anyways, it is not natural for humans to do that , hence why we have people going outside of their marriages over and over again for as long as our culture has been preaching monogamy. We are fighting our natural instincts due to a societal construct that was pushed hard by religion for centuries.

Yes, you are lying, and yes you are breaking a vow you made. But you know what, plenty of men will vouch that by having this, they take that pressure/expectation away from their wives. And by doing that, it frees up a lot of the marriage stress to focus on all the good things about the wife. Instead of being a miserable guy being nearly celibate because his wife is not into it, resenting her, and eventually having a dead marriage. It actually can, and does, allow for a much better marriage if you are married to someone who can not fill your sexual needs. THe escort can not fill the emotional needs a good wife can. Spreading your desires out can lead to healthier relationships.

The reality is more important than a set of rules and dogma about lying and cheating.

Monogamy isn't natural in most of the world primates, but there are millions of couple who are.
my gf and I decided to have an exclusive relationship years ago.
I wanted "no condoms", she said yes provided I be monogamous
It was the right move, our sexlife has been great.
Sure I've been tempted, especially when girl in my past come looking to play, but fortunately my
gf meets almost all my needs.

For you gentlemen who have no sex in their marriage, I can’t fault you for going to see escorts tho

[Zeus101159]

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money

It's been my experience that when a couple is in a "sexless" marriage ... they are BOTH getting it on the side.

Most men just refuse to believe it. That shopping isn't for you after all so ... who is it for? lol

[Diesel69]

O

It may be wrong ,

But I look at it differently, I consider it like therapy.

Its cheaper than therapy, and it fills the void I'm missing in my marriage. It makes my marriage happier Believe it or not it keeps my almost sexless marriage and family together.
I could leave my wife of 15 years but that means my two kids would be with split parents or keep doing what I am doing and secretly see a girl (or Tgirl) every 3-4 weeks and focus on being a good dad to my kids.

How wrong is it really? Yes it is not honest but very few people are honest in this world about everything. Its just some people just tell less lies than others ..............and often the truth hurts and sometimes things are best left unsaid. After all we are only human.

I just choose to only lie about sex .......and my wife lies about shopping and money. I know she does not spend $600 on groceries every week. I'm not stupid I know she gets cash back with every debit transaction everywhere she goes.......I just don't ask.

I would love a service provider to chime in here and get their feedback? Is it wrong? Is it justified? Am I a jerk? Do service providers have any preference if their client is attached or single? I don’t really know? I have thick skin ladies.... but a big heart. Speak your mind please , I would like to know your thoughts.