and now its time for humour

[LAND SHARK]

[LAND SHARK]

[LAND SHARK]

[maddplotter]

Infinity and beyond

I really like this one.

[maddplotter]

A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant."

He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"

She said, "I think it must be the second coming."

The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?"

"Because," she replied, "I swallowed the first one."




A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?"

[Raging Bob]

Nice one!!!!

[toban]

A good IRISH joke doesn't have to wait till St. Patricks Day. This is one of them.

A good IRISH joke doesn't have to wait till St. Patricks Day. This is one of them.

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis.

The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society. 'In fact,' he pointed out, 'some serious critics believe that the pink penis also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'

After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said, 'Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'

'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the couple.

'Because I'm the guy who painted it,' he replied. 'In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch.

[toban]

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his
favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde
woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment
and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her
senseless.

After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?"
She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."

Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed.

This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion.

The sex finally ends and, again, Guido smiles and asks, "You finish?"

Again, after a short pause, she returns his smile, cuddles closer to him and softly says, "No."

Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied,
Guido reaches for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he
barely manages it, but they end together, screaming, bucking, clawing and
ripping the bed sheets.

Exhausted, Guido falls onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head,
he looks into her eyes, smiles proudly and asked again, "You finish?"

Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispers in his ear: "No, I
Norwegian."

[LAND SHARK]

[daisuki888]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]43876[/ATTACH]

best picture, good child!!

[LAND SHARK]

[tsKITANA]

rude, but funny.

[LAND SHARK]

[Shyla Wild]

[maddplotter]

Dennis Leary Asshol

Ah I love that song. And of course my favorite line is:

" I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps and all leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights. Yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon"




Hey, I think my car gets 1 mile per gallon too.