and now its time for humour

[maddplotter]

Good one Wendy!

Now here's another joke:

Q: What's the difference between women and boiling water?




A: When you put a piece of meat in boiling water, it goes soft.

[Wendy Summers]

yours made me literally laugh out loud

Good one Wendy!

Now here's another joke:

Q: What's the difference between women and boiling water?




A: When you put a piece of meat in boiling water, it goes soft.

[maddplotter]

These should put a smile on your faces:

[rameses2]

Hopefully someone will find this as funny as I think this shot is.

May I present to you: a T-girl with WOOD.

"Pretty sneaky, Sis". Punny AND sexy-sexy!

[maddplotter]

Another blonde joke.....


A blonde is on board a small two- seater plane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio. "Mayday, Mayday! My pilot just died!" she screams.
Ground control receives her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. I'll talk you down, just do as I say. First, I need you to give me your height and position."

"I'm 5 foot 2 and sitting in the front seat!"

[unreachableone]

.

.

[Guest]

A dirty joke.

a white horse fell in mud.

funny eh

A real roar

[fifthace]

A wife says to her husband,"what would you do if I won Lotto?"


He says,
"I'd take half, then leave you."


"Excellent," she replies,
"I won 12 bucks, here's $6 - now Fuck off

[js78]

A frog joke

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a vacation."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger,
and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank
manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000,
and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"





The bank manager looks back at her and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.
His old man's a Rolling Stone."

[fifthace]

Last night I was talking to a young, attractive woman.


She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.


I told her what I really liked was a shaved pussy.


Apparently I'm no longer welcome at KFC.

[maddplotter]

Last night I was talking to a young, attractive woman.


She asked me if I liked breasts or legs.


I told her what I really liked was a shaved pussy.


Apparently I'm no longer welcome at KFC.

The Double Down is coming back to Canada on June 1st, while supplies last. People, start your defibrillators!

[maddplotter]

Quantity vs Quality?

[Wendy Summers]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25489[/ATTACH]

lol

[maddplotter]

More jokes

"I dropped my iPhone in my coffee over the weekend. This ruined my iPhone and my coffee. I lost my downloads, and my coffee tasted like porn." -Craig Ferguson



A friend and I were watching a film when a character called another a nymphomaniac.

"What's that mean?" she asked.

"It's a female who's addicted to sex," I answered.

"What do they call males who are addicted to sex?"

"Men."

[Shyla Wild]

Fidel Castro dies and finds himself at the Gates of Heaven.

St. Peter asks "Name Please?"

Castro Answers "Fidel Castro"

St. Peter looks through the books and finds his name, frowns, looks at Castro and says, "Stairs down Mr. Castro."

Castro takes the stairs down on the way to Hell. St. Peter being good hearted calls the Devil and explains that Castro is on his way down.

Satan gets off the phone and yells, "Demons!! We have a VIP coming today. Clean up Hell." All the demons begin the clean up.

As Castro arrives, Satan runs over and puts his arm around him. "Mr. Castro", explains the Devil, "Welcome to hell. You are a VIP here. We have everything you can need, women, booze, drugs, cigars...Anything."

Castro looks at him and says, "That sounds very good, but I left my bags at the gates of heaven."

The devil looks at two demons and proclaims, "You Two!! To the Gates and fetch Castro's bags or there will be Hell to pay.

The demons quickly run up the stairs and above arriving they realize that the Gates are closed. The begin looking for the bags only to find them on the other side of the Gates.

One demon looks at the other and says, "Let's just climb the Gates. No one is here and we will be out before anyone knows."

The other nods and they begin to climb the Gates.

At this moment, God and St. Peter were floating by on a cloud and they see what is happening.

God sighs, looks at St. Peter and says, "Look at this. Castro is dead not even two hours and he is already sending us refugees."