and now its time for humour

[maddplotter]

This is pretty cool:

Start at the top and slowly follow the directions as you scroll down.

[Raging Bob]

I know it's early in the morning....but WTF!!!!!

[toban]

Thanksgiving thoughts for you.

Just think -

If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of ass this Thanksgiving!!!

[maddplotter]

More jokes

Finally found some more funny jokes:

Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool. One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please."

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday, lads?"

"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, hire a car, and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.

"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful Country...the history, the beer, the culture..."

"Nah, we don't like that British crap," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim? And we can't stand the English; they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians."

"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.

"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."









Now there's a question you don't get too often. A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door...

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there. He asks the lady, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, "Do you have a vagina?"

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, "Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again."

The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door. The husband says to the wife in a whisper, "Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer 'yes' because I want to see where he is going with it." She nods and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question, "Do you have vagina?"

"Yes," she says.

The man replies, "Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?"

[Shyla Wild]

A well off Arabic Family decides to educate their son at Harvard.

After a week the son sends his parents an email.

My Dearest Parents,
Life is most difficult here. You my parents, have brought much shame upon me. Everyone here travel by train, while I drive a Ferrari 599. PLEASE STOP EMBARRASSING ME!!

Your Lovely Son.

A few hours later he receives a response from his parents.

My Only Son,
We are sorry to have brought this shame on you. 20 Million dollars has been deposited into your account so you may buy your own train.

[maddplotter]

A well off Arabic Family decides to educate their son at Harvard.

After a week the son sends his parents an email.

My Dearest Parents,
Life is most difficult here. You my parents, have brought much shame upon me. Everyone here travel by train, while I drive a Ferrari 599. PLEASE STOP EMBARRASSING ME!!

Your Lovely Son.

A few hours later he receives a response from his parents.

My Only Son,
We are sorry to have brought this shame on you. 20 Million dollars has been deposited into your account so you may buy your own train.

LOL

How are woman's breasts like toy electric train sets?






They're meant for little kids but daddy always winds up playing with them.

[sexytamara]

Husband and wife

HUSBAND :Babe can we have sex please?
WIFE : I can't babe I have period
HUSBAND : Ok, How bout anal?
WIFE : I can't either babe still hurts from last night coz u fuk it hard
HUSBAND : Ok babe , Can u give me a bj then instead?
WIFE : I can't too babe I have tonsillitis
HUSBAND : ( got mad and yelled ) OK DNT FUCKING TELL ME U HAVE SINUSITIES ( referring her nose holes )

[Raging Bob]

Ouch!!!!!

[maddplotter]

Customer: Give me 3 boxes of condoms, please.

Cashier: Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?

Customer: Nah, she ain't that ugly.

[Dita Dior]

What's the best thing about dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

aw this one was sad.

[Raging Bob]

Sadder than you think Dita....when was the last time you heard of a real homeless girl going on a date at all?

[Dita Dior]

Sadder than you think Dita....when was the last time you heard of a real homeless girl going on a date at all?

lol this is too much, im not looking at this thread anymore.
enjoy your laughs i have no humor i take too much seriously

[Dita Dior]

[Raging Bob]

Wanna see....

[Raging Bob]