and now its time for humour

[Guest]

Golf and tennis anyone?

A male golfer noticed that there was a sidewalk sale offering lots of used golf balls for a low price. He went and bought a lot of the balls. However, the salesman was out of bags to put them in.
"No problem", said the man, "i'll stuff them into my deep, front trouser pockets."

Anyhoooo, he's waiting at the bus stop to go home, and two street walkers see the guy standing there looking at a golf magazine - the front of his trousers bulging out.
The hookers start to roar out loud, laughing, and they caught the attention of the man who had no idea what they were laughing at.
So he goes over to the two ladies in waiting and he asks them what's so funny.

One of the girls points to his crotch and says to him while laughing, "THAT is what's so funny."

HE says, "What's so funny?...it's just golf balls."

A concerned look comes over the hookers' faces as they look bewildered at one another. "Golf balls?" one whispers to the other, "You ever hear of that, before?"

"Never!" she whispers back to her friend, "but i wonder if it hurts as much as tennis elbow?"

[Guest]

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[maddplotter]

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says "Sisters, you all led such wonderful lives that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be."

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren." and *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna." and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Alberta Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed.

"Who?" he says."

Alberta Pipalini." replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says. "No sister, the paper says it was the ' Alberta Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

[Raging Bob]

Why 'Plotter I believe that's blasphemy!!

[maddplotter]

Funny demotivational posters

These are treasures!

[Guest]

.

[Guest]

Play safe!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5sTBrs4fhQ

[Raging Bob]

LMAO....Good one babe....didn't see that one coming!

[Guest]

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[doorman]

i love this commerical
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GNL1Df7h10

[maddplotter]

More funny posters....

[Guest]

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[maddplotter]

For sports fans

For all you people who throw your hands up at those crazy calls at a hockey game.

[fifthace]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.








He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.








She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?








The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.








She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.








The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating? I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.








'Yes, I do' she replies.








The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily.








'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?'








'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.








The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'








'I remember that, too' she replied softly.








He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,

'I would have gotten out today.'

[Lani]

That's a good one fifthace.



Spaghetti


For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he offered her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told him to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payment to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 'Honey,' She said, 'You received a very strange post card today. "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card turned white and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
Three with meatballs, two without.
Send extra sauce!'