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Rose, nice find, kid is higher then a kite. lol
the things you find on the web at 1am bored....
the things you find on the web at 1am bored....
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students
that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about
Jesus by the next Sunday.
The following week she asked each child in turn what they
had learned.
Susie said, "He was born in a manger."
Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple."
Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't
know how to drive it."
Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that,
Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down
the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of
us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! Why don't you
learn how to drive?'""The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." -Brendan Francis :DComment
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Best 'headache' joke ever
BEST 'HEADACHE' JOKE EVER:
A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, 'I have a headache.' 'Perfect,' her husband said.' I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin.
You can take it orally, or as a suppository, it's up to you.'
SEMI-RETIRED 519-209-3058Comment
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Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his little friend shouting out cries of "Here I come again ...ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The first mutters, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard on."
The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?"
"I couldn't even get on the f...ing bed
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What's 60 feet long and smells like piss
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Senior Citizens Line Dancing.....
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Paula that is hilarious.
I am glad you spend so much time surfing out there. I get to laugh without searching for this stuffComment
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Gesundheit! LOL, that's a funny one.
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." -Brendan Francis :DComment
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Some good oldies.
Q. Why did Bill Clinton name his new dog Buddy?
A. He couldn't bear to say "Come Spot... Come Spot!"
Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. So she can moan with the other.
Q. What's white and sticky and found on the bathroom wall?
A. George Michael's latest release."The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less." -Brendan Francis :DComment
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Body Parts
Read to the end!!
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete .
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing
still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbsComment
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Female Compassion
A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.The first
woman said 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said 'No,' so she gave him
a hug and walked on.The second woman said 'Have you ever had a kiss?'
The man said 'No,' so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third
really beautiful woman came up to him and said 'Have you ever been
f*#ked?' The fellow said 'No.' She said 'You will be when the tide
comes in.Comment
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